Sos pls help

[oliviarobinson]

okay so someone please tell me when you know its right to lose your virginity to someone? what experience should you expect? just any info because i need advice BADLY. i want to have sex but i want to make sure its what i want both now and not have regrets in the future. please, HELPFUL feedback & advice.

[Wiseman2]

At 16, first you need to see a doctor and get birth control. Then you need to use condoms so you don't get stds. Then you need to ask yourself if it's to hang onto that abusive bad boy jerk who treats you so badly and is pressuring you for sex. Why not try other forms of affection and fooling around first so you'll know when you're ready?

okay so someone please tell me when you know its right to lose your virginity to someone? what experience should you expect? i want to have sex but i want to make sure its what i want both now and not have regrets in the future.

[Pretzel]

What matters the most is just that you feel 100% secure and comfortable with who you have chosen to have this experience with, trust is the most important thing for you to be able to relax. How old are you and who is the guy - what's your relationship?

[faraday]

I guess it depends on how you view it. I'm guessing it's a big deal to you or you wouldn't have made a thread about it...but for me, it wasn't a big deal. My first time was with a bf that I loved, it was painful and I was glad when it was over. Sex got a lot better with time I was only with that bf for...maybe 6 months total (a month before sex). No regrets. It was a stepping stone in my life path, not a milestone.

 

If it's something you're really worried about regretting...I'd wait. Wait until you're in love...wait until you have a good birth control set up...wait until you're sure he's into you and not your virginity. Wait until you feel ready. Until you're ready to deal with consequences like...sti's or pregnancy.

[Birdie]

Losing your virginity is really a personal thing....it means something different to everyone.

 

What experience do you want? Is it something that's important to you? Do you feel ready? Why do you want to have sex, is someone pressuring you into it, the experience, or curiosity? Do you feel your partner is supportive and respects you?

 

What are the possible regrets you feel you might have in the future?

 

You need to ask yourself these questions and be honest with the answers...no one can tell you when it's right or not. It's your choice.

[abitbroken]

okay so someone please tell me when you know its right to lose your virginity to someone? what experience should you expect? just any info because i need advice BADLY. i want to have sex but i want to make sure its what i want both now and not have regrets in the future. please, HELPFUL feedback & advice.

 

If you are not sure you really want it, the best thing to do is don't have sex right now. You can always have it at another time, but you can't take it back if you have it. wait until you are really sure AND you know enough about your body to know when your fertile days are AND to use protection. AND you should be an adult.

 

I would wait until you meet someone you are in a relationship with - there is mutual respect and care, with a guy who would feel the same about you whether you had sex with him or whether you decided to wait - he is not in a hurry because he cares for you. Its not about "losing your virginity and needing to lose it badly". I am very glad I waited.

 

How will you feel if the guy you had sex with dumped you afterwards, or was scarce because you were not in a relationship to begin with? Would you be okay with the experience either way? Has the guy you are wanting to have sex with tested for STDs? Would it be his first time also? Do you know him well?

 

Are you someone who can talk about their feelings and is honest about them with people?

[faraday]

Oh, I just read your other thread. Don't have sex with that guy. End it. Wait for a good relationship. You WILL regret it with this guy.

[abitbroken]

At 16, first you need to see a doctor and get birth control.

 

I would wait. For myself and friends who waited - it was much better. Don't be in a rush. Trust me on that one. Concentrate on school, making friends and most of all - figuring out what your boundaries are.

[Birdie]

I would agree with others that the current relationship you're in doesn't sound the healthiest. How would you feel if he ran off to another girl (as he seems to do from your post) after?

[Matt3939]

Do like me wait for Cher to be on the radio then go for it. Urg I'm old

[Batya33]

Losing your virginity is really a personal thing....it means something different to everyone.

 

What experience do you want? Is it something that's important to you? Do you feel ready? Why do you want to have sex, is someone pressuring you into it, the experience, or curiosity? Do you feel your partner is supportive and respects you?

 

What are the possible regrets you feel you might have in the future?

 

You need to ask yourself these questions and be honest with the answers...no one can tell you when it's right or not. It's your choice.

 

Same here. For me it was very important and significant. I originally was going to wait for marriage. And actually I lost it on Superbowl Sunday many years ago in my 20s. I loved the guy -my boyfriend- very much - but it happened when I felt pressured and we'd argued.

 

We'd been dating a very long time and he knew I was a virgin of course. We'd talked about it and done "everything but" and he'd just had it. So that first time even though I thought I actually did want to, I felt pressured and it wasn't great. And I was scared of pregnancy (yes! we used protection -and yes he was tested). Honestly, it got much, much better within a few months - I relaxed and enjoyed it.

 

We stayed together most of the next 2 years. We were like rabbits. In the hugest of ironies, even though I had been smitten with him I always felt this cold distance so when he proposed 2 years later (we were in our later 20s by then) I declined. About a year later he came out as gay. We each got married the same year, many years later -both to men! I regret how it happened- that first time -I do not regret losing my virginity before I got married. I ended up having very few partners because my standards remained that it had to be an LTR, we had to be in love, with strong potential for marriage. I made one exception otherwise (not a one night stand but not a forever relationship and I regretted it). Get very honest with yourself about your expectations, your standards, your values, how you are going to handle the risks -to your heart, to your physical health, to your emotional health.

 

I have another friend who lost her virginity at 15. She had her baby 9 months later. She ended up homeless for periods of time as a single mom, she married the wrong guy in her early 20s desperate to make a family for her daughter. She was one of the lucky ones - worked her way through college, became a hugely successful investment banker, and is now a middle aged grandmother of 2 and about to get married for the second time to a wonderful man. I don't know many like her -meaning teenage single moms with few resources who ended up getting back on their feet in a meaningful way. So be careful and be totally and bluntly honest with yourself.

[thejigsup]

I'm a little different, I suppose. I wanted to have sex and lose my virginity. Period. I was 16 and thought it was about time. He was older and I wanted to be with someone who could teach me how to enjoy sex and make me good in bed. I got both. I learned very quickly from him how to come with intercourse only and I can basically do that with no problem. Thanks to him I have always enjoyed sex unless the guy was awful in bed. I'm also great in bed, so the man has always enjoyed himself, also. But, like everyone else, you need to have birth control and std protection in place. I wasn't in love at all, but I have never regretted it. When you feel comfortable doing it, THEN is when you should do it, not when someone pressures you for it.

[Batya33]

I'm a little different, I suppose. I wanted to have sex and lose my virginity. Period. I was 16 and thought it was about time. He was older and I wanted to be with someone who could teach me how to enjoy sex and make me good in bed. I got both. I learned very quickly from him how to come with intercourse only and I can basically do that with no problem. Thanks to him I have always enjoyed sex unless the guy was awful in bed. I'm also great in bed, so the man has always enjoyed himself, also. But, like everyone else, you need to have birth control and std protection in place. I wasn't in love at all, but I have never regretted it. When you feel comfortable doing it, THEN is when you should do it, not when someone pressures you for it.

 

So it depends. I knew I would not enjoy it outside of a loving, committed relationship, nor would I be able to learn anything about technique outside of that kind of situation. The best sex I ever had before marriage was when I was engaged. Knowing that we belonged to each other and had committed to each other in that significant a way made it so much more special, meaningful and fun.

[JaggerJim]

If he is mean to you, don't lose it to him. You should give it to someone more deserving.

[j.man]

You don't give or lose your virginity to anyone. It's not like the guy gets a token to keep afterward. To put it simply, have sex if you want to. Don't if you don't. Whatever you do, be safe about it.

[Trulysad]

okay so someone please tell me when you know its right to lose your virginity to someone? what experience should you expect? just any info because i need advice BADLY. i want to have sex but i want to make sure its what i want both now and not have regrets in the future. please, HELPFUL feedback & advice.

 

It depends on a few things and first off please remeber that loosing your virginity is something you can can never get back. It depends on how old you are? Are you in are relationship with the other person? Where do you see your relationship going? Are you prepared for this? How old is the person? Also always use protection condoms and make sure you study birth control and start using it before you take the next step.

 

If you need more advice also I am hear for you I may not know you but I lost mine at a very young age and had no one to really talk to it about. So here i am years now and I have 2 wonderful children. I wouldn't change it for the world but it did take away most of my late teens years and put my plans on hold.

 

Best of luck