Why is my ex calling me after an explosive breakup?

[ConfusedLady21]

I will try to make this as short as possible. Me (24) and G (41) have been dating about a year. The reason for our break up is because I felt that I couldn't trust him. The foundation of relationship started off on little white lies (which included him lying about his age).

We constantly argued because I told him that I don't like how he praises other women. Save that for a guys night or whatever, but have respect for me and don't praise another woman in from of me. It's always some woman. It would be important to include that he has many attractive lady friends, which I don't mind.. but he spent a good 20 minutes talking about how some other woman is so amazing, beautiful, extremely smart and funny. My first initial thought is why aren't you with her? And then my second thought is why would you tell a woman who is interested in you that?

Anyways with our continuous arguments he posted a status on his facebook that reads :

" It takes a strong person to remain single in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything just to have something."

Some female comments: " Don't work in coming

Now I didn't say anything about that because later on we decided on a break. The very next day he tells me that his father died and that he needs someone. So I from Monday - Friday, I came home from work, walked my dog, packed a bag, drove there, spent the night with him, got up, drove home, showered, took my dog out and got ready for work. Rinse and repeat. Now all week I've been singing a song with him to capitalize on him being happy. On Friday he was dump enough to tell me that the song I've been singing with him was a song he used to play for his ex (who is in another state). He then switches up the story and tells me his friend dated her. Btw, that's the chick on the facebook post. He sees me get angry and I'm trying not to react because his father died. He kissed me on the chick and tells me I'm growing because I didn't let him have it. So I told him that I didn't know growing meant putting up with you shi*.

I left, we haven't spoke in 2 weeks and then when he finally called me. Held emotions came flooding out in yells and screams of the truth. He's been lying.

Then he asked me if I wanted time to get the chick on the phone. I cussed her out too, she was so nasty to me. We cussed each other out.

So another week goes by. A call from my ex. I didn't answer. Why? What is there to talk about ?

[boltnrun]

Well, my ex loved the idea that women would fight over him. In fact, he tried to engineer the exact same thing your ex did...tried to get me on the phone with the woman he was cheating on me with so we could fight over him. He even suggested inviting her over so the two of us could physically fight over him while he watched and got off on how studly he was.

 

I didn't play along, because I believe that if I need to fight another woman for a man he doesn't deserve me. He can just run off with the other woman.

 

So, my guess is your ex wants to try to get you back so he can have two women fighting over him again. Then he can feel like the Super Stud. It's all about his ego.

[Wiseman2]

Excellent you went no contact. He doesn't sound trustworthy or invested in the relationship. Now delete and block him from all social media and messaging.

[ParisPaulette]

This one is really simple, because he gets off on the idea that he has so much control of you that any time he whistles or calls you'll come running back where he can continue to take great delight in tearing down your self-esteem, gas-lighting you, then proving to himself, "Oh yeah, I still got it, look at her come running back for more."

 

Him reaching out to you repeatedly and hoovering you in over and over is so not about loving you or wanting you in his life or gosh he won't do it again. You need to block and delete him then go take inventory of your own life and why you'd let someone so clearly into head games and needling others and being a liar be in your life an why you'd feed into the drama unless you wanted it. Cussing out another chick? Why? You don't think he hasn't been doing exactly same to her.

 

You both should have been cussing him out then cutting him off and showing him he means less than nothing. But you are still ahead of the game if you shut him down now by not responding. Trust me, it hurts that kind of person so much more by blocking them on everything thing, going ahead with your life, having fun and recovering. Or you can simply go back for more drama, because that's all you're going to get with this type of person. Expecting anything else is the very definition of insanity, so is running back to him over and over again expecting a different result.

 

P.S. I would stop worrying about his dad being dead and hurting him or standing up for yourself, because you feel bad about that. You'll notice he couldn't be bothered grieving his father instead of creating more drama between two women to boost his own ego. Do you even really know if his dad is dead? I kind of doubt it or this guy is such a cut and dried narcissist who really could care less it's not funny. Gross behavior for someone who just lost a parent if that's even true.

[HeartGoesOn]

So another week goes by. A call from my ex. I didn't answer. Why? What is there to talk about ?

 

You're better off by deleting him from that space that he's occupying in your head. I have a feeling you haven't yet closed that final door, therefore putting yourself at risk of being sucked back in.

 

It's time to raise your standards, and respect yourself.

[Pretzel]

Wow. He sounds terrible.

 

Don't pick up the phone to him ever again is my advice...

[Naomi99]

am I the only one who read this three times and still don't understand?

[ConfusedLady21]

I typed this out on my phone as quickly as possible with 8 left til I had to go back from lunch. What are you confused about?

[Ms Darcy]

am I the only one who read this three times and still don't understand?

 

No, you are not the only one.