He had an affair with a married woman

[mjoao93]

I recently found out that my boyfriend was talking to a married woman on Facebook. They began their interactions i guess when she was separated from her husband. She left heart eyes and kisses on his photo calling him super cute and he responded with hearts and kisses as well. He even went as far as asking her to marry him on one of her photos (we were still together). Her husband saw this and wasn't too happy about it, so he got back with her and took subliminal shots at him. They have a young baby together. I was so heated I told him to never text me again. He proceeded to blow up my phone until I responded and I eventually gave in . Things were shaky and he was trying really hard to be nice. 2 nights ago she posted another photo and he didn't comment but he "loved it". I became irate insulted him horribly, removed him from all of my social media, told him it was over and I hated him and proceeded to block his phone number. I just don't understand those 2. Her husband posts photos of their family and how much he loves her, and she continues flirting with my ex on the side. She knew about me and didn't care. Despite all of this she has no plans to leave her husband. I don't understand why he would like the photo, I told him how much their flirting hurt me and that I cried, we were getting back on track and he does that. If he didn't want me why blow up my phone the first time I told him to beat it? Only to turn around and do almost the same thing? My question is how to get over this? I know I did the right thing by leaving but it still hurts. Do you think he has real feelings for this woman? And is it possible they were flirting long before all of this debacle? Was It harsh to tell him I hated him? Thanks in advance. 😔

[DancingFool]

Because cheaters are incredibly selfish, effed up people who only love themselves and couldn't care less about how they hurt and use those around them. Being a normal person, you will never understand their mentality and it's not even worth the mental energy trying. You do exactly what you did - dump them with extreme prejudice, block them and never ever ever ever speak to them again. As far as you are concerned, they are dead to you.

 

As for him bowing up your phone, it's not love, it's a power trip that he can cheat on you and still get you back. Pity you fell for it. At the very least, don't fall for it again. He has shown you who he is in spades.

[Wiseman2]

Did they ever meet up in person? Did they know each other from work or school or previously? Why were they suddenly playing kissy-face on fb.

 

How long were you dating? Have you and your bf met in person?

I recently found out that my boyfriend was talking to a married woman on Facebook. I became irate insulted him horribly, removed him from all of my social media, told him it was over and I hated him and proceeded to block his phone number.

[qwaspolk82]

I recently found out that my boyfriend was talking to a married woman on Facebook. They began their interactions i guess when she was separated from her husband. She left heart eyes and kisses on his photo calling him super cute and he responded with hearts and kisses as well. He even went as far as asking her to marry him on one of her photos (we were still together). Her husband saw this and wasn't too happy about it, so he got back with her and took subliminal shots at him. They have a young baby together. I was so heated I told him to never text me again. He proceeded to blow up my phone until I responded and I eventually gave in . Things were shaky and he was trying really hard to be nice. 2 nights ago she posted another photo and he didn't comment but he "loved it". I became irate insulted him horribly, removed him from all of my social media, told him it was over and I hated him and proceeded to block his phone number. I just don't understand those 2. Her husband posts photos of their family and how much he loves her, and she continues flirting with my ex on the side. She knew about me and didn't care. Despite all of this she has no plans to leave her husband. I don't understand why he would like the photo, I told him how much their flirting hurt me and that I cried, we were getting back on track and he does that. If he didn't want me why blow up my phone the first time I told him to beat it? Only to turn around and do almost the same thing? My question is how to get over this? I know I did the right thing by leaving but it still hurts. Do you think he has real feelings for this woman? And is it possible they were flirting long before all of this debacle? Was It harsh to tell him I hated him? Thanks in advance. 😔

 

Just stay away from him. Who cares if he has real feelings for her or not? She's not leaving her husband who obviously doesn't care his wife cheats on him. That's their problem. Not yours.

 

If you hated him then you hated him. I don't hate my ex but there was one time I said I hated him and I truly did in that moment.

 

I'll say this - I messed around with a married friend once. It was stupid and I wish I hadn't because I lost our friendship due to it. He married his wife the day before he went to basic. He was basically deployed or overseas the first few years of their marriage. All three kids they have are either Korea or deployment babies. (He got her pregnant after getting home each time). He came on to me as we got closer during our deployment. I would tell him know. I knew his wife. She seemed cool but I noticed after awhile they had the weirdest relationship. They got along better when he was gone it seemed. He told me that in Korea he got drunk and made out with some girl once.

 

His wife nearly found out but I lied to her. We would talk secretly for awhile but I haven't heard from him in years. It seemed like he loved his wife but he cheated on her twice basically. They're still together. He got out of the military. I had strong feelings for him and he helped me through some big issues. He had his own issues I guess. I don't know why he came on to me or why I let it happen. I don't know if he's cheated since me or not either. Wouldn't surprise me.

 

My ex cheated on me and every girl he's ever been with. Some people just want more it seems. As if they're always looking over the fence to see what's out there. Some people are just never happy no matter what I guess. Maybe that's that woman and your ex.

[mjoao93]

They didn't know each other prior, he just randomly added her, but when he added her she was happily married. About a month after he added her, her and her husband separated for about 2 weeks then got back together. Me and him were dating for 7 months, and yes we've seen each in person regularly. I'm not sure if he ever met up with her in person. She lives in the area, very close to us so who knows.

[Krankor]

Well, "I hate you" are harsh words but that's OK. I forgive you.

 

Look, this boy has no sense of judgement, boundaries, or loyalty. You shouldn't have given him a second chance but you did, and he blew it.

 

How to get over it? Block him on everything and don't contact him again. Feel sad and cry when you need to, the rest of the time keep yourself busy and distracted. Exercise, go out with friends, etc. When you feel ready, start talking to other guys and go out on dates. I wouldn't wait too long, either--I'm not a huge believer in taking forever to "heal." Stop and catch your breath and let the dust settle, of course, but don't wait forever.

 

It sucks and is horribly painful but we've ALL been there. You'll get through this. Again, it's OK to feel sad but never doubt that you did the right thing, and don't let him engage you in any contact, either.

[Wiseman2]

Good you ended things. How was the relationship quality?

Me and him were dating for 7 months, and yes we've seen each in person regularly. I'm not sure if he ever met up with her in person. She lives in the area, very close to us so who knows.

[mjoao93]

I didn't feel the relationship was worth salvaging. This wasn't the first time he flirted on Facebook, but every time I tried to leave he'd beg me back. Despite his past flirting he Never went far as to ask someone to marry them. Which is why I finally blocked him, because it seems there's more here than just flirting. I suspect he wants to destroy this family and keep the wife for himself, and was just using me for fun in the meantime.

[mjoao93]

Thanks for the responses. I knew for a while now to pull the plug but I guess I didn't want to believe it.

[mjoao93]

@qwaspolk82 I agree, he seems to have a case of "grass is greener syndrome". He dated another girl before me who was very beautiful and intelligent. She had great morals and a came from a good family. They had met each other's family and everything and her family accepted him. The point is their relationship dissolved because he constantly cheated on her with women on Facebook. She'd try and leave him and he'd beg her back. Finally one day she got fed up and left for good. He cried for months when she finally left, I met him a few months after that. You'd think he would have learned from this and changed but he didn't. I guess I shouldn't feel too bad because even if him and this woman get together, he'll eventually get bored and begin looking for someone else. I guess this is just who he is.