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Girlfriend seems hot and cold.


Panicbroadcast

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Hi all,

 

I wanted to post on here as I'm not sure what to do. I recently became official with my girlfriend and I'm not sure how to interpret her actions. I'm very direct with my feelings (not saying I love you though) I usually text her first in the mornings but she is not an affectionate communicator. She usually replies with one word answers or disregards what I say. In person everything is good, but it's those lapses between when we see each other that is driving me insane.

 

She does sext me quite a bit which seems to be the only time she's affectionate. She never tells me how she feels or tells me she misses me etc. I'm not sure if I should stop texting her first or something. Please help!

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Hi! so first of all, i completely understand your situation and how frustrating it can be when you are confused about someone's feelings for you. Its very good you are direct with your feelings, and i will admit that it is odd that she doesnt tell you how she feels. Usually girls are pretty affectionate. HOWEVER there are so many reasons that could justify this. Some people are just sheltered, and its hard for them to open up. If this is a newer relationship, she probably wants to feel secure before she takes a chance. It doesnt mean youre doing anything wrong. Sometimes girls just protect their feelings. I would suggest having a heart to heart with her. Make her feel like she can be open and honest with you, tell her how you feel, and ask her how she feels. A girl wants to feel valued. Having a somewhat serious conversation IN PERSON can always help!! Best of luck

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If that's how it's always been then maybe that's the way she is? What does she disregard? If u stop she might view it as you pulling away I'd have a talk with her.

Everytime I tell her I miss her she ignores it. Everytime I mention us doing something together as a couple, she acknowledges it with a one word reply. I'm not sure what to make of it, which is why I wonder if I should stop texting first for a day?

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I'm a girl and honestly, if I had a guy sending me such inane texts everyday like "I miss you" I'd ignore them too. Like what are you supposed to say to that anyway? It's kind of needy and attention seeking and really, no response required. Ditto for plans, she is simply confirming, no further commentary required.

 

Frankly, you sound like a sappy romantic guy and she sounds like a pragmatic girl who is not that into that kind of sappy stuff. Communication between you will be difficult and full of misunderstandings, especially on your part. So you will need to learn how to ask her what's up and figure out how to communicate more directly what your needs are and what her needs are. Don't play passive aggressive stuff like "what if I just stop this or do that" - talk to her upfront about what bothers you and clear the air. Personally, I think she will be a bit surprised at how you are interpreting things.

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She's smart to save any emotional talk for in person dates. How often do you see each other? Yes, lay back on the texting and step up the in person dates so you can talk for real, not typing.

 

Agree that "good morning" or "Have a nice day" or "miss you", etc are annoying nonsense texts . Don't text tether...date.

I recently became official with my girlfriend. In person everything is good, but it's those lapses between when we see each other that is driving me insane. She never tells me how she feels or tells me she misses me etc.
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