Fools Matrix Posted February 6, 2017 Share Posted February 6, 2017 The last time I posted in enotalone, I was going through the after effects of divorce. My divorce was final in June '16. Ive been dating here and there - nothing serious. Just dinners, dancing etc. I signed up on eharmony, thinking I might be ready for that. I met a woman, we'll just call her "A". We had so much in common and off the hook chemistry. Our first date was at a little cafe. Conversation flowed easily and we decided to stroll around, talking. We parted ways a while later. Before I got home, she was already texting me, telling me how much of a wonderful time she had and that she looked forward to seeing me again. (In the midst of our conversation, our second date was already planned). We ended up texting each other until later that evening. Since her job is close to mine, we decided to get together for lunch, both of us feeling like waiting till Friday to see each other was too long. Now, in the back of my mind, I felt like things were moving pretty quickly here... But it felt good, after all I'd been through the previous year. I just rolled with it. Then came the conditions. She wanted me to know before we got too invested, that she was 1) Bipolar2 and 2) studying to convert to Catholicism (and wanted to follow it to the letter i.e. no sex until marriage). The bipolar thing I was somewhat familiar with and felt ok as long as she was undergoing treatment and honestly felt like she could maintain a relationship. The no sex thing, well, I was raised to believe the same but had never practiced it. I decided that maybe for once, I'd try that and keep an open mind. After all, sex can muddy things up a bit when you're trying to get to know someone. We went on our date. We had a fantastic time and truly enjoyed each other's company. So much so that we got together the next night and the night after that. Things seemed to be moving really fast by then. There was talk of future plans. We'd even planned a camping trip in March. Oh, well looks like we're doing Valentines day too! We couldn't get enough of each other and talked every night. When we said goodnight, there was always this feeling that something was going unsaid - that shouldn't be said so soon. Fast forward another week. During a conversation about real estate, I mentioned that I was hoping to buy some land to build on, once I paid down some debt. Things got weird after that. She wanted to know how much debt and what was it for. The total debt is 50k and was the split of marital debt, the cost of my divorce the previous year and my startup costs ( I practically came out of my marriage with nothing but my truck and clothes). I explained this to her, told her I was working on it, had a plan in place. She seemed really concerned that I might be financially irresponsible. Worried that our "financial philosophies" don't match. But since I had some sort of plan in place to remedy it, she was ok with that. This is 2 weeks in to our "relationship" mind you. I really felt like telling her it was none of her business just yet but bit my tongue. After all, we were both looking for something long term and I could see where this could be an issue for some. Then she calls me 2 days later. She's worried about the debt again. A "bad gut feeling". At this point, I'm getting aggravated. She's practically letting me know that she doesn't believe what I'd told her before and that there was some lack of trust going on. We end up breaking up over this. She asked if we could be friends and I had said no, we couldn't. Not under these circumstances. Basically, I was a bit offended by her questioning me again and she was upset because I became a little agitated with the line of questioning. I did end up sending her 2 different emails, trying to get to the bottom of what the hell just happened. That ended up with her telling me not to contact her anymore. So I've deleted all her contact info, unfriended on fb and blocked on eharmony. There's no way for me to get in touch with her now. All this happened in about 3 weeks. My head is spinning and I'm wondering how in the hell did this happen. I'd really like to know. We went from thinking we could be soul mates to "don't contact me" in just 3 weeks! If someone reads this and senses something I should have done /not done or red flags I should have noticed, please let me know. I'll get over this just fine, given the short amount of time, but I am a bit disappointed. I'm just glad it didn't go on longer and that she'd never met my kids. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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