My Odyssey

[Sportster2005]

All normal reactions and I only disagree that it's always like that in the beginning -the click you described, what you had in common, how you enjoyed hanging out with each other -that's not so easy to find. Sure, it doesn't mean long term or forever necessarily but that is why I suggested holding out a bit before pulling the plug. I did notice that she was a bit too focused maybe on that woman you dated who she knew so that would suggest (again maybe) that there's not something at all wrong with you.

 

Compatibility and maintaining the connection is hard to come by ,that's for sure.

 

You're firing on all cylinders today. Much wisdom, thank you.

[Sportster2005]

That sucks. Sorry Sportster

 

Thanks. I'm finding it hard to be upset. I know I will miss her. But I miss myself more. She just wasn't the one.

[IAmFCA]

Thanks. I'm finding it hard to be upset. I know I will miss her. But I miss myself more. She just wasn't the one.

 

Come back to this idea if you forget it.

 

You found that feeling I bumped into recently -- the one wherein we know we are awesome and yet it seems like there must a repellent within us somehow..Of course that feeling makes sense in the moment, even when you know its silly.and untrue.

 

A reminder that we all are individuals, that matching isn't about our awesomeness. Rather, it's about two people matching. No wonder it takes effort.

 

I am sorry it didn't have more running room, S. But, if the end were inevitable, better now than later.

 

You still rock.

[Clarisse]

I'm so sorry, Sportster.

 

I made the mistake again of getting involved with someone who comes on strong and fast. This is how they all end. After a little infatuation they realize you're not the one for them and they move on to the next one.

 

I don't think you did anything wrong, but you're right that this as the only red flag. Yet, sometimes, the right one DOES feel that way from day one and it IS intoxicating. There's really no way to no way to know for sure. There is no sure fire way to protect ourselves from heartbreak. It's a helpless and discouraging feeling sometimes.

 

Please take care of yourself.

[Sportster2005]

Come back to this idea if you forget it.

 

You found that feeling I bumped into recently -- the one wherein we know we are awesome and yet it seems like there must a repellent within us somehow..Of course that feeling makes sense in the moment, even when you know its silly.and untrue.

 

A reminder that we all are individuals, that matching isn't about our awesomeness. Rather, it's about two people matching. No wonder it takes effort.

 

I am sorry it didn't have more running room, S. But, if the end were inevitable, better now than later.

 

You still rock.

 

Thanks ITIC. It did have a feeling of inevitability. Part of me is still wondering "what if". The parts that worked, worked really well. I lost track of how many times I was ready to say something, and she would say exactly what I was about to say. Sounds corny, but it happened a lot.

 

I teared up a bit this morning. I had to clean up my Facebook. There is a picture of us doing the Foxtrot in the park. It was still early in the relationship. It was so easy, so natural. We were making plans for Cuba and New York. Then the last couple of weeks all I could do is sit on the sidelines and watch the flame burn out until it was extinguished.

 

At the end of the day though it was a very healthy thing. Two people met, tried and then just discovered it wasn't there. And maybe there is something about me she just didn't like. At our age we know the folly of making changes for people. I can't change, she can't change. I'm going to wait a few weeks and enquire some more. It might help me in the future. Sometimes making an adjustment can help.

[Sportster2005]

I'm so sorry, Sportster.

 

 

 

I don't think you did anything wrong, but you're right that this as the only red flag. Yet, sometimes, the right one DOES feel that way from day one and it IS intoxicating. There's really no way to no way to know for sure. There is no sure fire way to protect ourselves from heartbreak. It's a helpless and discouraging feeling sometimes.

 

Please take care of yourself.

 

Thanks Clarisse.

[Sportster2005]

I don't think I'll wait. I'm putting my OLD profile back up. I feel a little discouraged and sad. But far from heartbroken.

[Batya33]

I don't think I'll wait. I'm putting my OLD profile back up. I feel a little discouraged and sad. But far from heartbroken.

 

Then yes, it's time. You have a really healthy perspective IMO.

[Clarisse]

Good for you!

[Sportster2005]

I emailed TL. I dated her in March - May of 2016. We send the odd email when we bump into each other on Match. I joked about being online. Some chit chat. She said we should get a coffee and catch up. I like the idea. It would be nice to see her. I'm not going with the expectation it's a 'coffee date'. I will keep an open mind. I don't think she's interested, and I'm not sure I am. But we did get along O.K. and she's one of the good gals.

[IAmFCA]

I don't think I'll wait. I'm putting my OLD profile back up. I feel a little discouraged and sad. But far from heartbroken.

 

lololol

 

When you said a week, I was like, Huh , I bet its next day. ... only because I've said the same.

 

Maybe stay hidden or something, if you have that option, to give you an opportunity to.look about without acting on it - a sort of trial run

[reinventmyself]

Oh Sportster, I am disappointed for you.

Don't get discouraged. Consider each time you put yourself out there you get the opportunity to fine tune exactly what you're looking for.

Considerate as nothing more than practice.

 

But I understand the let down. I really do.

Hang in there. It's going to be ok.

[Sportster2005]

Oh Sportster, I am disappointed for you.

Don't get discouraged. Consider each time you put yourself out there you get the opportunity to fine tune exactly what you're looking for.

Considerate as nothing more than practice.

 

But I understand the let down. I really do.

Hang in there. It's going to be ok.

 

Thanks Sweety

[Sportster2005]

Considering the wisdom of asking CS if she still wants to be sort of dance partners. We were supposed to take Salsa this summer and Ballroom in the Fall. I'm sure I could do it platonically, it's not some devious scheme to win her back. On the contrary, it would expose me to more dancers, and potential dance partners.

 

Looking back through my paper journal I found myself shaking my head at myself. There was an entry from when we had only been seeing each other for a few days. This would have been very early May. She invited me to two events this summer. One in June, which we went to, and one in August. I saw it as a definite red flag. She wanted to seal the deal too eagerly and too quickly. There was some awkwardness around the June event. She had invited someone she was seeing in December to that event. I felt like she probably has a bad habit of rushing into things desperately looking for that magic relationship, and then jumping out as soon as the honeymoon is over. She explained that she just put his name down for June because she needed a name to reserve the room, and for the volunteer list.

 

I kind of felt early this relationship wasn't going anywhere. I wanted to give it a chance to breath and not sabotage it. When things seem to be falling apart I didn't panic. Without concrete evidence I let things play out. It does give me some satisfaction my intuition was correct. As much as I hate the word intuition. More accurately, there were subtle things being communicated and I was able to pick up on them. The only thing I would have done differently is force her hand earlier. Tell her I felt her pulling away and ask for verification and go from there. But then again just last week she mentioned 'taking a break'. She quickly clarified 'not that kind of a break'.

 

CS dumped me three days to the year LO gave me the chat. July must hate me

[SherrySher]

Aw dammit. I'm sorry Sportster.

[IAmFCA]

Considering the wisdom of asking CS if she still wants to be sort of dance partners. We were supposed to take Salsa this summer and Ballroom in the Fall. I'm sure I could do it platonically, it's not some devious scheme to win her back. On the contrary, it would expose me to more dancers, and potential dance partners.

 

Looking back through my paper journal I found myself shaking my head at myself. There was an entry from when we had only been seeing each other for a few days. This would have been very early May. She invited me to two events this summer. One in June, which we went to, and one in August. I saw it as a definite red flag. She wanted to seal the deal too eagerly and too quickly. There was some awkwardness around the June event. She had invited someone she was seeing in December to that event. I felt like she probably has a bad habit of rushing into things desperately looking for that magic relationship, and then jumping out as soon as the honeymoon is over. She explained that she just put his name down for June because she needed a name to reserve the room, and for the volunteer list.

 

I kind of felt early this relationship wasn't going anywhere. I wanted to give it a chance to breath and not sabotage it. When things seem to be falling apart I didn't panic. Without concrete evidence I let things play out. It does give me some satisfaction my intuition was correct. As much as I hate the word intuition. More accurately, there were subtle things being communicated and I was able to pick up on them. The only thing I would have done differently is force her hand earlier. Tell her I felt her pulling away and ask for verification and go from there. But then again just last week she mentioned 'taking a break'. She quickly clarified 'not that kind of a break'.

 

CS dumped me three days to the year LO gave me the chat. July must hate me

 

For your own practice I like that you didn't force her hand earlier, because you are good at that andthis time you practiced a different approach.

 

More broadly, your instincts (I love that word) are good... validating.

 

Re dance partners... feels too soon to me?

[Sportster2005]

For your own practice I like that you didn't force her hand earlier, because you are good at that andthis time you practiced a different approach.

 

More broadly, your instincts (I love that word) are good... validating.

 

Re dance partners... feels too soon to me?

 

I don't know. I went to the gym this morning. When I left I realized I felt myself, and I felt happy and excited. I might miss her a bit tonight. We've been spending every Saturday night together for a couple of months now. It was getting really comfortable. Overall I'm a little surprised.

 

I also had an epiphany while at the gym. CS indirectly, or maybe even directly served as a rebound for LO. Especially since CS knew LO and told me some things about her that helped me put her in perspective. LO was still on my mind when I met CS. I actually feel more ready now for a relationship than when I met CS.

 

I'm going to the bar we danced at every Saturday afternoon. She might be there. I don't care. I have other friends there. I'm going to reclaim it again as my own. It was one of my places before we met and it will be mine again.

[IAmFCA]

I don't know. I went to the gym this morning. When I left I realized I felt myself, and I felt happy and excited. I might miss her a bit tonight. We've been spending every Saturday night together for a couple of months now. It was getting really comfortable. Overall I'm a little surprised.

 

I also had an epiphany while at the gym. CS indirectly, or maybe even directly served as a rebound for LO. Especially since CS knew LO and told me some things about her that helped me put her in perspective. LO was still on my mind when I met CS. I actually feel more ready now for a relationship than when I met CS.

 

I'm going to the bar we danced at every Saturday afternoon. She might be there. I don't care. I have other friends there. I'm going to reclaim it again as my own. It was one of my places before we met and it will be mine again.

 

Im there with you. I like your style: walking into it whatever it is.

 

Shine your shine, Sportster!

[Sportster2005]

Im there with you. I like your style: walking into it whatever it is.

 

Shine your shine, Sportster!

 

It was rather uneventful. If she would have showed up, I really don't think I would've cared. It's my hangout, not hers. I'm glad she dumped me when she did. If I was in love with her it would have made going back there, and other places hard.

[IAmFCA]

It was rather uneventful. If she would have showed up, I really don't think I would've cared. It's my hangout, not hers. I'm glad she dumped me when she did. If I was in love with her it would have made going back there, and other places hard.

 

Glad you went even if it was a forgettable experience. Even better.

 

Am glad for your strength and forward looking posture.

[Sportster2005]

Sooooo anyways, I seen this very attractive runner in my running circle. I always wondered if she was single, and hoped to get a chance to talk to her. She just emailed me on Match. Happy times.

[Larkin]

Sooooo anyways, I seen this very attractive runner in my running circle. I always wondered if she was single, and hoped to get a chance to talk to her. She just emailed me on Match. Happy times.

 

When one door closes...

[IAmFCA]

Sooooo anyways, I seen this very attractive runner in my running circle. I always wondered if she was single, and hoped to get a chance to talk to her. She just emailed me on Match. Happy times.

 

The body ain't even cold yet and a new victim stands ready to fall under your spell.

 

as it should be.

[Sportster2005]

I had a nice coffee with TL this afternoon. We talked for almost three hours. It was nice to see her again. Nothing will come from it. Maybe another coffee some time. We're decidedly in each other's friend zone. Which is fine.

 

I went back through some of CS's messages. Even just a month ago she seemed crazy about me. I did tear up a bit. The beginning was so amazing. She gave so much hope. I think there's something fundamentally wrong with someone that comes on like that, and then so quickly loses it. I mean this is an extreme example. Rebound? Another man? Just bat chit crazy. I know people lose interest all the time. But I can't reconcile the ending with the beginning. No matter how I try.

 

I remain not too torn up emotionally. I look back on the beginning very fondly. But, but ugh. W TF happend? And yeah, I am missing her a bit

[faraday]

I had one of those super intense relationships right before I met Jay. He came in like it was a sure thing, and totally swept me off my feet...and left just as quickly and without warning. Totally threw me off. He ended up getting back together with his ex.

 

I'm pretty sure it was a rebound thing. Idk about you and CS. I just know it sucks when it happens because you're just left standing there thinking, "what the hell just happened?"