Is this normal behavior for exes?

[lovingthefall]

Do people often contact their exes years after breaking up, for birthdays and such?

 

It was my birthday on Friday and once again I got a text from one of my exes, despite us having been broken up for over ten years.

 

She texts me on every birthday, but we haven’t even seen or spoken to each other since the day we broke up. We just both moved on.

 

Then, when I quickly texted back later to say “Thanks. Hope you’re good”, I got an essay back, explaining everything she’s been doing.

 

It’s nice of her, I guess, but it’s been over a decade and she’s had a new guy for years now and is living with him and everything.

 

I don’t even remember when her birthday is, so it’s very weird that this happens every year, particularly since she was the one that broke up with me.

 

She’s also accidentally texted me a few times and accidentally called me twice during this same period of time, which no one else has ever done.

 

Is this standard ex behavior, or should I be concerned?

[Wiseman2]

It may be time to block her. She may be one of those people who wants to say "all my exes wanted to stay friends" or something like that.

[indea08]

Eh, it's a little much.

 

I have times every now and then when an ex crosses my mind. I'm on good terms with all of them so sometimes I feel like it'd be nice just to say "Hey, thought of you today. Hope you're doing well and the kids are too." (Their kids that they had after me, not mine). But I really wouldn't want to carry on much more conv than that. I don't want to get into reminiscing...that's how feelings get brought back up, and I'm perfectly happy in my marriage.

 

Maybe this particular ex is trying to lead to that path? Waking down memory lane? Maybe she wants to feel those old feelings again just because she's bored with her life?

 

Or maybe she literally just wants to wish you well. You know her better, so what do you think?

[Clio]

Wouldn't call that normal ex behaviour. Sounds to me that she is unhappy/bored/unfulfilled with her life and is looking for external validation, drama or even a way out. Too messy and not really to do with you imo. I would ignore.

[jujusamples]

I think it's normal to text an ex to say happy birthday! I do it when I remember, but that's the extent of it. Nothing more, just a simple happy birthday.

 

The random phone calls and texts is not normal. Texting you back an essay of how she's doing is also NOT normal in my opinion. I wouldn't even reply to how I'm doing and if I do it would be, "good" or something simple like that.

 

Maybe she hasn't gotten over you yet? As wiseman said "could be one of those exes that thinks all my exes should remain friend". It is odd!

[boltnrun]

My ex tries to keep in contact with all his exes (going back to high school, which was a long time ago) because he's trying to make sure they all are still pining away over him LOL. For him it's an ego thing even though he's been with his current girlfriend for like 8 years.

 

But, I'm pretty sure most people don't have a fragile ego like my ex does.

 

Sometimes I look up an ex out of curiosity. Most of them are doing well and have lovely families. I'm genuinely happy for them.

[JaggerJim]

If I saw my ex in a supermarket and I hid, then I would not be sending out "Happy Birthday Texts".

 

She's your Ex! Ignore, Ignore, Ignore!

[angrythoughts]

It's super normal. I text my ex on holidays and birthdays. Him and I are friends though. If you guys don't communicate then it's a little strange.

[lovingthefall]

It may be time to block her.

 

I don’t think birthday greetings are grounds to block her. It is a bit weird though.

 

You know her better, so what do you think?

 

I have no idea, as it’s not something I would ever do. I don’t even remember my exes birthdays after years apart, so I definitely wouldn’t get in touch with them, as even though there are no bad feelings, we’re also not part of each other’s lives any more.

 

I would ignore.

 

I won’t ignore her, as a quick text to say thanks is easy for me to do and getting a birthday text isn’t a hardship for me. Her essay texts back are weird though.

 

Texting you back an essay of how she's doing is also NOT normal in my opinion.

 

Exactly. I meant it as a way to say “goodbye and take care” to her, not as an invitation to update me on the past year of her life. Very strange.

 

She's your Ex! Ignore, Ignore, Ignore!

 

Again, ignoring her’s unnecessary. I have no hard feeling towards her. I just have some confusion about why I’m still pinging on her radar so much.

 

If you guys don't communicate then it's a little strange.

 

Yeah, if we were friends and in regular contact, then it’d be totally normal. Ten years down the line though, it gets weirder and weirder each year that she keeps in touch.

 

I have another ex that's engaged and has kids that also calls/texts every time her fiancé is away on business trips. Her I might actually block

 

So strange. I always thought that breakups would be a clean break, particularly when they move on to new relationships....guess I got that 100% wrong!