I am dreaming about having sex with an ex.

[Colelauren]

I have been dreaming about having sex with my ex for about over a year now and I've come to the point now where I have had enough and I don't know what to do. He was my first love and I was with him from the age of 15 to about 17. I have had 2 relationships since then. The person I am with now I've been with for 3 years however our sex life is nothing like it was with my ex, it isn't passionate, he doesn't pleasure me like my ex did. My ex now has a new girlfriend and this is his first girlfriend since me. I think this has upset me a bit and made me realise I'm not over him, which I guess could be why I'm dreaming about sex with him? I actually messaged him and asked to speak to him as I want to know if he feels the same way still about me. Although I do have a boyfriend and I feel really guilty. Please can someone give me some advice, this is driving me up the wall.

[Capricorn3]

I actually messaged him and asked to speak to him as I want to know if he feels the same way still about me. Although I do have a boyfriend

You have a boyfriend. That alone should have stopped you in your tracks. You are showing total disrespect to your boyfriend. How would YOU feel if your boyfriend contacted his ex asking if she feels the same way (and is dreaming of having sex with her) ?

 

If you have intentions of messing around with your ex, then you need to end it with your current boyfriend as he doesn't deserve this.

 

Lose the ex's number.

[angrythoughts]

I wouldn't take these dreams seriously. I also wouldn't have messaged your ex. Not only are you in a relationship, but he is too. There's a chance he's forgotten about you a long time ago and you're gonna get hurt when he tells you he isn't interested.

 

Good luck.

[MissCanuck]

I think the dreams mean nothing other than remind you that your current sex life is lacking and you've checked out of your relationship.

 

It was a bad move messaging your ex, in any case. Since you've reached that point anyway, I would advise you to end it with the current boyfriend. That is completely unfair and totally disrespectful to him. Your ex very likely isn't going to respond well to you but the mere fact you wanted to talk to him about your feelings indicates that you need to be single.

[j.man]

Join the club.

[ParisPaulette]

Be single, text the ex back and tell him this was a bad idea as he is now with someone else. You two were broken up and haven't been together in two years? Yeah, this doesn't sound like a love made in heaven to me.

 

I think your lack of sex in the current relationship is frustrating and an indication of incompatibility. Cheating never makes things better, only way, way worse. If it helped relationships and made life better, don't you think it would be promoted more and we'd all be like, "Cool, okay. Great idea!" But you don't see that happening like ever, except well maybe from chronic cheaters and enemies who love to see you crying and wrecked in a corner down the line. They of course will promote that you should cheat and often.

 

The rest of us, uh not so much. As in ever. As in do not walk that line.

 

I don't think it's that you aren't over the ex, I just think your subconscious is trying to say, "Hey, remember what a happy relationship that was good in all ways, including the sex department was like? Yeah, well you need to end this and walk away." NOT that it's trying to tell you to go off and cheat with an ex-boyfriend.

 

Regardless you need to end the relationship you're in OR go get couples counseling and see if you can reignite the passion if it was ever there or he was ever a capable lover to begin with. Not think that getting some on the side is going to fix things, because it will do quite the opposite once that just had sex buzz wears off.

 

Cheating and lying and sneaking around and stewing all the time about whether or when you're going to get caught? I can't imagine a more exhausting existence and who has time for that anyways? If you do then you don't have enough else going on in your life, but yes consider this a wakeup call on your current relationship. Not a past one.

[Colelauren]

You have a boyfriend. That alone should have stopped you in your tracks. You are showing total disrespect to your boyfriend. How would YOU feel if your boyfriend contacted his ex asking if she feels the same way (and is dreaming of having sex with her) ?

 

If you have intentions of messing around with your ex, then you need to end it with your current boyfriend as he doesn't deserve this.

 

Lose the ex's number.

 

 

 

Can I just clarify my aim is to not cheat on my boyfriend, I would never cheat ever as it's happened to be before. I just wanted to know if he feels the same as me in the sense that no one since him has been able to make me feel the way he has.

[Colelauren]

Be single, text the ex back and tell him this was a bad idea as he is now with someone else. You two were broken up and haven't been together in two years? Yeah, this doesn't sound like a love made in heaven to me.

 

I think your lack of sex in the current relationship is frustrating and an indication of incompatibility. Cheating never makes things better, only way, way worse. If it helped relationships and made life better, don't you think it would be promoted more and we'd all be like, "Cool, okay. Great idea!" But you don't see that happening like ever, except well maybe from chronic cheaters and enemies who love to see you crying and wrecked in a corner down the line. They of course will promote that you should cheat and often.

 

The rest of us, uh not so much. As in ever. As in do not walk that line.

 

I don't think it's that you aren't over the ex, I just think your subconscious is trying to say, "Hey, remember what a happy relationship that was good in all ways, including the sex department was like? Yeah, well you need to end this and walk away." NOT that it's trying to tell you to go off and cheat with an ex-boyfriend.

 

Regardless you need to end the relationship you're in OR go get couples counseling and see if you can reignite the passion if it was ever there or he was ever a capable lover to begin with. Not think that getting some on the side is going to fix things, because it will do quite the opposite once that just had sex buzz wears off.

 

Cheating and lying and sneaking around and stewing all the time about whether or when you're going to get caught? I can't imagine a more exhausting existence and who has time for that anyways? If you do then you don't have enough else going on in your life, but yes consider this a wakeup call on your current relationship. Not a past one.

 

Thank you for your response this has been helpful. I just want to clarify I would not cheat on my boyfriend - he is a very good person and if it got to the point I thought I was going to cheat I would end it with him. I just wanted to know if my ex had felt the same way in the sense that I have been unable to feel those feelings since him & no one has been able to make me feel the way he did. I'm not a home wrecker either and the last thing I would want to do is break up someone else's relationship.

[JaggerJim]

It's your sub-conscious telling you that you probably need to move on from your boyfriend. Something is missing.

 

Did you really text your ex? I think that was a bad move. I don't think he would feel the same way as he would have contacted you.

[Colelauren]

Be single, text the ex back and tell him this was a bad idea as he is now with someone else. You two were broken up and haven't been together in two years? Yeah, this doesn't sound like a love made in heaven to me.

 

I think your lack of sex in the current relationship is frustrating and an indication of incompatibility. Cheating never makes things better, only way, way worse. If it helped relationships and made life better, don't you think it would be promoted more and we'd all be like, "Cool, okay. Great idea!" But you don't see that happening like ever, except well maybe from chronic cheaters and enemies who love to see you crying and wrecked in a corner down the line. They of course will promote that you should cheat and often.

 

The rest of us, uh not so much. As in ever. As in do not walk that line.

 

I don't think it's that you aren't over the ex, I just think your subconscious is trying to say, "Hey, remember what a happy relationship that was good in all ways, including the sex department was like? Yeah, well you need to end this and walk away." NOT that it's trying to tell you to go off and cheat with an ex-boyfriend.

 

Regardless you need to end the relationship you're in OR go get couples counseling and see if you can reignite the passion if it was ever there or he was ever a capable lover to begin with. Not think that getting some on the side is going to fix things, because it will do quite the opposite once that just had sex buzz wears off.

 

Cheating and lying and sneaking around and stewing all the time about whether or when you're going to get caught? I can't imagine a more exhausting existence and who has time for that anyways? If you do then you don't have enough else going on in your life, but yes consider this a wakeup call on your current relationship. Not a past one.

 

It's your sub-conscious telling you that you probably need to move on from your boyfriend. Something is missing.

 

Did you really text your ex? I think that was a bad move. I don't think he would feel the same way as he would have contacted you.

 

He actually told me he feels the same & has always thought we had 'unfinished business' however I stopped the conversation and congratulated him for finally getting another girlfriend. It has made me think though and I do think I need to be single.

[Wiseman2]

Yikes. Not sure what this will yield if you are both with other people. The real problem is your current bf doesn't satisfy you, not this ex.

I am with now I've been with for 3 years however our sex life is nothing. My ex now has a new girlfriend. I actually messaged him and asked to speak to him as I want to know if he feels the same way still about me.

[Capricorn3]

He actually told me he feels the same & has always thought we had 'unfinished business' however I stopped the conversation and congratulated him for finally getting another girlfriend. It has made me think though and I do think I need to be single.

Yikes, that's bad. You now have potentially killed two relationships by contacting him and asking him if he feels the same. You should never have done that, it was completely out of line. How do you think his girlfriend would feel?

 

Clearly, you are not happy in your current relationship and if that's the case, then end it, so that you are free to see others. BUT, that does not mean you should wreck the EX's relationship. Sounds like you should be single for a good long while so as to sort yourself out.

[Matt3939]

All you did was give your ex an ego boost. It's fine to think about sex in the past. But never bring it out of your mind.