Should I be paranoid?

[Ladylou]

So to cut a long complicated story short, my boyfriend and I have been together 8 years. We've had so many up and downs but lately more downs. We have come through lots, but he recently (1 week ago) told me he wasn't happy and that he wanted his freedom, so he moved back to his mom's.

After a day apart he messaged saying he didn't want to live without me, that he was sorry for everything he had said. After lots and lots of messaging back and forth we decided to try and make it work one last time. I do love him but he isn't the easiest person to live with so we agreed he would stay living at his mom's and that we would try dating again. So he stays sat and sun and gets to do his own thing all week.

First I found some messages to a girl online, he plays ps4 online with lots of males and females so I knew about her, it's not really a problem. But these messages were a bit ott, saying things like he woke up wanting her, that she had a fine ass etc even spoke to her to say he was thinking of leaving before he told me when I confronted him he said they were just messing about, it was banter and I had nothing to worry about as she was in another country. So I thought maybe I was over reacting as I can do I guess. It still hurt though.

Now skip to today, so I'm feeling insecure at the moment which doesn't help. But he tells me he's out with a girl from work. I didn't like that idea but don't want to get paranoid, then I find out they have exchanged numbers and have been texting and talking on phone tonight and that he wants to hang around with her when he's not with me.

I just need to know if I should be worried, or if I'm over reacting because I feel hurt right now. I feel like he's off out and about giving his number to girls and chilling while I work all week and wait like a mug to see him on weekends? Do I have a right to be annoyed?

Please help as I feel like I'm losing my mind

[Wiseman2]

Sorry about how this is playing out. How long gas he lived with you? How old is he? Why is he difficult to live with?

 

Unfortunately after 8 years it's growing apart, not together if you agreed he should move out back to his mother. Over all it sounds like he prefers his freedom and really doesn't want to play house or settle down.

he isn't the easiest person to live with so we agreed he would stay living at his mom's and that we would try dating again. So he stays sat and sun and gets to do his own thing all week.

[Ladylou]

He's lived with me pretty much the whole 8 years, moved in way too fast but he was having problems at home. He is 27 I'm 36 so I understand if he still wants to be out with mates.

He used to drink alot and was quite a nasty drunk, he hasn't been drinking for around a year and has done really well. Says he doesn't want to go back to being that way but now his mood swings get crazy. He sulks over really silly things but after a day he's fine again. It's just that sometimes his mood changes so fast I find it hard to catch my breath

[Wiseman2]

Did he shift to other substances? It sounds like he's looking for an enabler/mother figure. Perhaps his mother will allow or not notice drinking/drug use. Also she will let him date women and he wants his freedom..

 

The mood swings may be other substances (very very common) or return to alcohol and hiding it (very very common) and or a lot of underlying mood/psychiatric issues. To be honest, he needs rehab more than a relationship. Does he work?

He's lived with me pretty much the whole 8 years, moved in way too fast but he was having problems at home. He is 27 I'm 36. It's just that sometimes his mood changes so fast I find it hard to catch my breath

[Jibralta]

I would be worried.

 

Don't make excuses for him because he's 27.