pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I was just reading a study thing ( as you do on a Saturday night cos you're living it large ) and it had this top ten ...do you agree , would you add to the list ? actually it maybe Friday not Saturday ^^ anyway .. Top 10 red flags, according to the study: Anger issues Gets caught lying Controlling behavior Not wanting to make your relationship public Unpredictable behavior Has cheated in past relationships Has a history of addiction Frequent mood changes Immaturity Has been in trouble with the law Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Good list. Top 10 red flags, according to the study: Anger issues Gets caught lying Controlling behavior Not wanting to make your relationship public Unpredictable behavior Has cheated in past relationships Has a history of addiction Frequent mood changes Immaturity Has been in trouble with the law Link to comment
UnchainedSoul Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I agree with this, the only thing I would add is the "stringing along" syndrome. That's when they say they love you but are not "in love" with you. I dealt with that mess for five years and it literally destroyed my self-esteem. I am good enough to sleep with but not good enough to love and be your girlfriend? Come on. Lesson learned. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Good list. For me it feels like quite a shocking list ... I fit into some and have missed all of them in others ! So I am face palming here . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I agree with this, the only thing I would add is the "stringing along" syndrome. That's when they say they love you but are not "in love" with you. I dealt with that mess for five years and it literally destroyed my self-esteem. I am good enough to sleep with but not good enough to love and be your girlfriend? Come on. Lesson learned. ohhh ouch yes ...that's gotta hurt . I haven't had that , but I have had my fair share of ouchies . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 The cheating one ... can people change ? I like to think they can ... on here has told a different story though . Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Rock n Roll, pippy!!! That list pretty much sums it all up. Though I would add in regular contact with an ex to my own personal list of red flags. Link to comment
limichelle Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I agree with the list! Also the stringing along syndrome, it happens to me too frequently! Oh and the placing you as a back up plan if you two don't work out but if others don't work out as well. Lisa Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Rock n Roll, pippy!!! That list pretty much sums it all up. Though I would add in regular contact with an ex to my own personal list of red flags. bluey xx yes good one ....oh yes yes yes with some bracketed mention of facebook and exes as well . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I agree with the list! Also the stringing along syndrome, it happens to me too frequently! Oh and the placing you as a back up plan if you two don't work out but if others don't work out as well. Lisa yep lisa ... the back up plan .... the notorious BUP ... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I think quite a few of you would add ....* not finalised the divorce* ...I see that as a problem a lot on here . I don't think it would be a problem for me as long as they where well and truly broken up . Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 The cheating one ... can people change ? I like to think they can ... on here has told a different story though . It is quite often said .... "once a cheater, always a cheater" but I don't think this is true in all case. Although I don't condone cheating for any reason as it is never the answer to whatever problems you may have I still think it depends on the reasons for cheating in the first place. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Biggest red flags / turn-offs 1. They're not pippy 2. They're not pippy 3. They're not pippy 4. They're not pippy 5. They're not pippy 6. They're not pippy 7. They're not pippy 8. They're not pippy 9. They're not pippy 10. They're not pippy Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 It is quite often said .... "once a cheater, always a cheater" but I don't think this is true in all case. Although I don't condone cheating for any reason as it is never the answer to whatever problems you may have I still think it depends on the reasons for cheating in the first place. I can think of a few people who cheated and did end up staying with the person they cheated with .. like it was the real deal ...they wanted that person and fully walked out on their marriage etc and went off to live happily ever after ... So yeah I think you are right in that it depends on the reasons . Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 1 - 10. She does not know how to cook or clean. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Biggest red flags / turn-offs 1. They're not pippy 2. They're not pippy 3. They're not pippy 4. They're not pippy 5. They're not pippy 6. They're not pippy 7. They're not pippy 8. They're not pippy 9. They're not pippy 10. They're not pippy This is obviously the bestest post EVER on Ena Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 1 - 10. She does not know how to cook or clean. Jim you sauce pot , look at ya trying to stir us all up Link to comment
Tanzi Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I can think of a few people who cheated and did end up staying with the person they cheated with .. like it was the real deal ...they wanted that person and fully wlaked out on their marriage etc and went off to live happily ever after ... So yeah I think you are right in that it depends on the reasons . Yep, that is what happened with my father-in-law (or rather my ex-father-in-law). He married the woman he cheated on his wife with. They have been together 26 years now. Then, of course, you get your habitual cheaters ..... Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Yep, that is what happened with my father-in-law (or rather my ex-father-in-law). He married the woman he cheated on his wife with. They have been together 26 years now. Then, of course, you get your habitual cheaters ..... Yes surely it is going to be at the back of anyones mind . I am sat now trying to think how I would feel if I met someone and they said they cheated once ..would it put me off ...again I think the answer is back to what you said ...what where the reasons .. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 I was just reading a study thing ( as you do on a Saturday night cos you're living it large ) and it had this top ten ...do you agree , would you add to the list ? actually it maybe Friday not Saturday ^^ anyway .. Top 10 red flags, according to the study: Anger issues Gets caught lying Controlling behavior Not wanting to make your relationship public Unpredictable behavior Has cheated in past relationships Has a history of addiction Frequent mood changes Immaturity Has been in trouble with the law It's good. I would add: Puts their exes down Blames others for their problems Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 Slovenly... I couldn't see you or J for that matter putting up with that for very long . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 It's good. I would add: Puts their exes do Blames others for their problems Yep , good ones ..and it is not exactly a delight to sit and listen to anyway Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted February 4, 2017 Author Share Posted February 4, 2017 This was the next bit of the article ..I forgot to add it ... So why do most of us choose to ignore them? "It has a lot to do with feeling heavy-duty chemistry," said Bela Gandhi, a relationship expert and founder of date coaching service Smart Dating Academy. "Your vision can especially get clouded if you've slept together too early. You're hopped up on feel-good hormones, making you less objective and more likely to ignore the red flags." Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 To add to the list: Total lack of personal hygiene. YUCK! Link to comment
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