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So, I posted a while back about this girl I was seeing/sleeping with. She was previously engaged a few months ago and eventually I came to a choice to just be her FWB type of thing, I pushed my emotions aside (to an extent) and kept seeing her. We've slept together on regular occasions and I see her probably 2 times a week, she lives almost 60 miles away from me (round trip) so it's a long trip.


Weird thing is she keeps giving off relationship vibes (cuddling, holding my hand, texting me saying she misses me) which I'm okay with, I tend to downplay it all and act cool with it.


So last week she said we need to have a "date night" which would be a good idea in my head, go grab dinner, talk crap and head back to her place for a good night.


What annoys me is she messages me now (3 hours before our date) saying, she's invited another couple with us which kind of annoys me since she asked for the date considering she goes away for 2 weeks tomorrow. I honestly feel like messaging her saying "you go and I'll see you when you're back"


If she asked for the date, and considering the amount of times we've had sex and stayed together I can't imagine she's scared to be alone with me on a date, so why would she not have the respect to message me and asked if I'm okay with it?


Is it wrong to flake on her for this reason?

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You're right, she should have asked you first if you were okay with it,and no I don't feel it's wrong of you to not go. If you're not comfortable with it, tell her, and then ask if she wants to meet up later or another time.You have every right to your opinion and what you're okay with at this stage.

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There are two choices ..it depends on how you want to play it and how much you are prepared to let go ...


You could just go anyway , put your feelings aside , hopefully have a fab evening and when you are alone afterwards you can let her know you would have preferred to have been asked because you wanted to spend this time alone yada yada




what sherry said


For the record I would also be pissed off , but would probably go so no bad feeling was there before the trip , but I would deffo make it clear afterwards that it wasn't her greatest idea .

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Does she know in your mind she's only a fwb? It sounds like she thinks it's dating replete with socializing with others which is not the sin you make it out to be.


You must level with her that it's only hookups rather than string her along so that she thinks it's dating.

I came to a choice to just be her FWB type of thing
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Seems to me that you've had enough time together that spending some time with friends and doing a double date kind of thing would be fine?


Not really sure why you are taking this in such a weird way as "oh she must be afraid to be alone with me". I mean dude, you've been seeing each other naked plenty, where did that thought even come from? You are kind of long past the whole concept of "omg it's our first date". That ship had sailed some time ago.


The fact of the matter is that you are the rebound guy, a substitute for her ex. So yes, she will do things that are relationshippy like set up a double date, etc.


If you are upset about possibly ending up without sex....well....I mean what you do after your date shouldn't really be affected......

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