I really want revenge on my ex !!!!!

[Whatcanyoudo]

She cheated on me. And now is with the guy she cheated on me with. I feel like I have let her get away with everything. She told a family member about our relationship. We come from 2 different cultures, my family being conservative and strict. She promised never to tell as it could have been dangerous for r me. I feel very vengeful. I can't understand how someone that was so sweet to me for 2 years can turn out to be this way.

 

I called her the other day to tell her I'm getting married just to rub it in her face and make her feel like crap. I hope it has done its job.

 

But I really want her to feel what I felt, she can't go on with a clear conscience. I messed up by pleading and begging her to come back. Now I just want her to suffer as much as me. But deep down I know it's not healthy but I cannot ever forgive her.

[Wiseman2]

It's difficult if you are bi and your family won't accept this. After breaking up, did she get with a man because she wants kids/family?

 

No contact, delete and block from everything is the best revenge. Do they have LGBT support groups in your area/culture that you could turn to?

is with the guy she cheated on me with. We come from 2 different cultures, my family being conservative and strict. She promised never to tell as it could have been dangerous for r me.

[angrythoughts]

Let karma do its job. It's completely understandable to want vengeance; you're still fresh in your feelings... However, it will only give temporary satisfaction. Not only that, that's way too much effort on your end. You'd have to sit there and map out a blue print of how to get your vengeance. You'll spend all that time on a plan that may not even work in your favor. You might feel more foolish than you did initially.

 

Don't waste you're time.

[Salty]

Don't bother just be happy.

[DancingFool]

Best revenge is moving on, not giving them another thought and actually living a fabulous happy life without them.

 

Contacting them, complaining, revenge - just makes you look pitiful really and once all your rage dies down, you are going to feel pretty sh$tty about yourself for going there.

Keep your dignity and walk away head held high. This person shouldn't be worth even one more thought from you.

[Whatcanyoudo]

It's difficult if you are bi and your family won't accept this. After breaking up, did she get with a man because she wants kids/family?

 

No contact, delete and block from everything is the best revenge. Do they have LGBT support groups in your area/culture that you could turn to?

 

Yes. She's always wanted kids and a family. And she couldn't have that with me not because I'm a woman but due to my conservative background. I'm not mad that she broke up. It's the way she went about it. Cheating on me(we had been faithful to eachother) and then dumping me to begin a romantic relationship with this guy, without wasting any time. She used my biggest fear against me by telling my family member everything so she can get away, fully aware of the fact that it could have got me into serious trouble. She knew exactly what she was doing. I'm really hurt and feel stupid. At that time, I could have done many things to hurt her back but I was too in love with her. As childish as it sounds I hate the fact that she got the upper hand and used my weakness(family) against me. It's more the fact that I let her get away with it all without her facing any consequences. I had somuch dirt on her and a part of me wishes I dished it out at the time considering the heartless way she treated me incl. betraying my trust and suddenly abandoned me. She knows she's got away. It completely took me by surprise because before all this she was amazing to me. I guess she was fed up and I'm to blame for being a coward, but that doesn't excuse the way she treated me.

[Whatcanyoudo]

Let karma do its job. It's completely understandable to want vengeance; you're still fresh in your feelings... However, it will only give temporary satisfaction. Not only that, that's way too much effort on your end. You'd have to sit there and map out a blue print of how to get your vengeance. You'll spend all that time on a plan that may not even work in your favor. You might feel more foolish than you did initially.

 

Don't waste you're time.

 

Like I said above I have some dirt on her so it's not too hard to get my revenge. But I'm in 2 minds about it.

[Wiseman2]

Was there backlash from your family about this? It was nasty of her to do that.

 

What are the consequences of having same sex relationships in your culture? Would your family disown/shun you?

She used my biggest fear against me by telling my family member everything so she can get away, fully aware of the fact that it could have got me into serious trouble.

[Doc Blaze]

Don't go down to your Exes level it makes you look weak.

 

best revenge is being happy and making the best of your life.

 

 

trust me, I was cheated on multiple times by different people. Ive been there.

[Whatcanyoudo]

Was there backlash from your family about this? It was nasty of her to do that.

 

What are the consequences of having same sex relationships in your culture? Would your family disown/shun you?

 

She told my cousin who was shocked by it but I could trust her, she won't tell my parents. I don't think my family would ever harm me. Perhaps they would try to get me married off to some man. But it's the shame in the community that would make my family's life hell. And my ex knew all that. Yet she still told so I she could get completely rid of me. This is why I'm raging. I feel betrayed. I trusted her more than anyone.

[j.man]

Just watched Star Wars: The Force Awakens last weekend. Don't do it, man. If the movie is any predictor, you'll end up killing your dad if you go down this route.

[Betterwithout]

Sorry to hear your news.

Betrayal of trust, being lied to and being cheated is very high on the list of most devastating personal life experiences. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

 

As far as seeking revenge, this is the anger stage you're in. Allow yourself to be angry, but don't do anything that you may regret later. Just heal throughout the 5 stages of grief, and sit back as her life will eventually suck in time. Karma will eventually come to get her.

I was cheated on 7 years ago (still hurts like a b**** ) unfortunately, I have to see her every week as we exchange children. Still.... Karma bit her in the ass really hard

and I have 0 sympathy for her. My life is way better than she has it, so happiness is indeed the best revenge.

After you grieve, work on yourself and look for happiness, you will come out stronger in the end.

 

Also...my advice is to start writing a journal. It helped me immensely writing down my thoughts, venting my anger, and controlling my emotions.

[Matt3939]

Jman did it have a death star? They keep beating that old horse. As for someone who does fantasize about revenge sometimes. I'd say give it time and just let it slide. I found out my SO was with someone new a week and a half ago. She's the only be to do so that I know for sure. So I had thoughts everywhere. Anyway there's no way after the way she treated me that it won't rear it's ugly head eventually with the new person. I actually feel sorry for him. Cause guess what I'm free. I know I'll be better off eventually. Just let it go.

[Seraphim]

Revenge requires you dig two graves.

[Wiseman2]

Wow, sorry the consequences of your lifestyle are so grave in your culture. What about online LGBT support, since it doesn't sound available locally? Do you fear an arranged marriage?

 

Back to revenge. I never place my time or energy in that. Why? It's taking the two best commodities anyone has and squandering it on someone who's wronged you.

 

Not into karma either. Why? Life is unfair and some people are holes. Keeping that warning signal on, like a lighthouse beacon, is important to assess things and keep one's eyes open.

She told my cousin who was shocked by it but I could trust her, she won't tell my parents. I don't think my family would ever harm me. Perhaps they would try to get me married off to some man. But it's the shame in the community that would make my family's life hell. And my ex knew all that. Yet she still told so I she could get completely rid of me. This is why I'm raging. I feel betrayed. I trusted her more than anyone.

[DancingFool]

Back to revenge. I never place my time or energy in that. Why? It's taking the two best commodities anyone has and squandering it on someone who's wronged you.

 

 

^This needs to be pinned and be required reading material on this forum. Soo soo soo true, what a waste of time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve either.

[Clio]

You don't have to forgive her. You do have to accept that it HAS happened, grieve the loss and let go of the notion that it could have happened in any other way. Acceptance and letting go is the key.

 

As for revenge, the best revenge IS living well again.

[mgsportsfan252]

She cheated on me. And now is with the guy she cheated on me with. I feel like I have let her get away with everything. She told a family member about our relationship. We come from 2 different cultures, my family being conservative and strict. She promised never to tell as it could have been dangerous for r me. I feel very vengeful. I can't understand how someone that was so sweet to me for 2 years can turn out to be this way.

 

I called her the other day to tell her I'm getting married just to rub it in her face and make her feel like crap. I hope it has done its job.

 

But I really want her to feel what I felt, she can't go on with a clear conscience. I messed up by pleading and begging her to come back. Now I just want her to suffer as much as me. But deep down I know it's not healthy but I cannot ever forgive her.

 

While revenge seems like a great idea. The best form of revenge you can do is drop her and move on with your life. Chances are, the guy she is with won't last and when that happens she will try and test the waters with you again. And if you don't reply, that silence will break her more than anything else you could do.

 

Plus she is a cheater. Don't stoop to her level, instead take this as a learning experience and take care of yourself and start the healing process.

 

I am very sorry to hear about your situation, I can't imagine what you are going through. Use the anger and resentment you have towards her to something healthy like exercise. Not only will you vent your frustrations, but you will get the benefit of being in shape which I am sure she would notice (if she still follows you on social media).