Jump to content

never had a relationship, not sure what to do


Recommended Posts

Im 32 male, never had a relationship. I've dated off and on but it's never really amounted to much beyond sex. Frankly, I'm tired of dating and don't even see the point, but I don't want to be alone either. Any advice?


Sounds like you just haven't met someone you want to date long term. You have had relationships.


The problem may be - if you are having lots of sex and it never leads to a meaningful relationship - is that you are looking for, finding and dating the wrong women. You are also putting the cart before the horse

Link to comment

Unfortunately dating is a necessary evil if you want a relationship, there are really no short cuts to find love. You have to build things up like feeling a connection, etc.


What you do is date a while and Before having sex, have a talk about dating exclusively. Have fun going on dates, do stuff, don't just hangout/hookup.


Having random hookups can be the headache you are describing 6742933] Having repeated interactions with a woman I dont have to worry is sleeping with someone else.

Link to comment

I don't really have any life goals, and my interests are not really shared by most people. I have an interest in philosophy and creative writing, although I do like to travel. How is any of that supposed to help me find someone? I should mention I'm almost entirely friendless.

Link to comment

I'm sorry Seraphim. I appreciate any advice people are offering here and didn't mean to snub it. It just seems odd to me to go on more than two dates with a girl and not make a move towards sex. It's hard for me to believe that people seriously date platonically. I did date platonically once, but only at the girl's request. But we eventually had sex, and now she's in the past.

Link to comment

3 I could do. But 6? That would take some kind of acknowledged agreement, or else how would I know that it's going anywhere? Especially since dating is such a hassle and fraught with so many annoying concerns, like if I should pay for the tab, how stupid do i look dancing, is she interested in the things I have to say, am i bragging. I'm not even sure what the end game is for long-term dating. I'm not looking to get married. But at what point is it recognized that we're in a relationship? Do most guys pay for the tab? Dating is so expensive. Who has the time, money and energy to continuously repeat the same charade especially if sex is postponed for much later?

Link to comment

Wow. This is exactly why you haven't had a relationship.


Yes, 6 dates. If you make it past the 3rd date, there's a presumption that there's some attraction.


At some point, I personally believe the bill should be split. That's usually the 3rd date for me - I pay, and then we go halfsies or take turns.


But yes. You jump in to sex too early and that's why you haven't had a relationship.

Link to comment

My husband and I got to sex 6 months later. We wanted to get to know each other first and trust each other. We were in a relationship long before the sex but trusting each other before that element was added was very important. We are still together a few decades later. It is a system that worked for us.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...