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My boyfriend gets mad when I don't answer the phone.


anon478

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I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and a half. He's an amazing man, he shows me love, he respects me, he is loyal, we have never ever had a problem of him being unfaithful or something similar. He's an amazing man, we have a great relantionship. Sometimes we fight, not that too much but we sure get mad at eachother. A couple days ago he wasn't answering my texts, at that time he is supposed to be home from work and it seemed weird to me that he was not answering my texts. I called him two times and he didn't answer, I assumed he was busy with something. A couple minutes he calls me back and tells me he was in his house and was having problems with his phone that "it froze" and even tho I could hear him that he was in the car I believed him, I just didn't wanted to fight over something stupid. I was ok with it and everything was normal. Later that night I went to my bestfriends house that is infront of mines, to study. I left the phone on the living room charging and I was giving some food to my bestfriends dog outside of the house. He called me one time, I called him back just right after he called me and he did not answered on purpose (as a punishment for me not answering) I called him again and he got an attitude on me because I didn't answered when he called me. I told him that it gets me mad that he acts like I'm hiding something from him. He never believes me when I say I left the phone somewhere.

 

The day after, I went to his work to eat together and we were talking about men who lie and he immediatly told me "I lied to you yesterday, the phone didn't froze. Before I got home I saw a friend's of mines and I stopped and talked with him, I saw you calling me but I ignored the call because I didn't want you to get mad at me for not telling you I was there" And I didn't even got mad at him I was like "Okay, I understand" and he hugged me and said "sorry I was going to tell you that yesterday when you were on your bestfriends house but you didn't answered the phone and I got mad and didn't wanted to tell you the truth no more"

 

Today, I felt bad in my stomach. I was texting with him and told him I was about to vomit. I did, texted him that I vomited and that I still felt bad. He answered me right after, I was in my room and left the room running to the bathroom because I felt like vomiting again, I left the phone in the room charging. He called me 7 minutes after we last texted (I did not heard the phone) and called on the house phone, I was about to answer when it stopped ringing. I ran to get my Iphone and he was calling again. I answered, he was like "Mjm? Why you didn't answered"

Me: "Well I was at the bathroom and the phone was on my room"

Him: "The phone is always somewhere else when i call you, when is this going to stop?"

Me: "You know I feel bad I'm not in the mood to fight right now"

And he hang up on me after I said that.

 

Is this normal?! What should I do?! I need to know if I'm the one doing the things wrong or he's just insecure. I really love to be fair with our problems. I need to know if this is bad and what should I tell him. I already have told him times before that I felt that he was insecure by the way he's so jealous with me without me showing him something for him to be jealous for!! I'm a very loyal and honest girlfriend. I really think that I don't deserve being hanged up on the face like that and be treated like I'm trying to hide something. What should I tell him? Help!

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You both need to stop the phone policing, phone tethering and overall phone games. It's absurd to expect anyone to be at their phone 24/7. It's also absurd to ignore calls to irritate each other and get in power struggles over this.

 

You also don't need to text him for nausea/vomiting updates and that type of drama and nonsense.

he immediatly told me "I lied to you yesterday, the phone didn't froze. Before I got home I saw a friend's of mines and I stopped and talked with him, I saw you calling me but I ignored the call because I didn't want you to get mad at me for not telling you I was there"

 

I was texting with him and told him I was about to vomit. I did, texted him that I vomited and that I still felt bad.

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For someone who went thru this same !#$@ no its not at all normal. It will make you crazy. No matter how much u try to appease him you will always do something wrong. It's there problem not yours. I'd say stand your ground. Tell him you aren't doing anything. If he can't except this it's his fault. I'm sorry you are going thru this.

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This is ridiculous. No-one should be tied to their phone 24/7. Altho we all carry our phones, it's ok to put them down and go and do other things. People call during these times, it's normal.

 

We are all strapped to our phones that we are contactable 24/7. Most people know this. Most people know that if they try to call someone, they should have their phone on them and answer it. We have forgotten that people have a life, that they sometimes just don't want to answer their phones, and then there are innocent times like yours, where you put the phone down and was doing other things.

 

You need to talk to him and tell him, yes you have a phone, but things happen and you will not always answer. But you will do your best to call him back when you can. Same goes for him.

 

If he does not like this, find a new boyfriend who does accept this.

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Nope. Not normal. I long for the days of the dialled telephone ☎️. It taught patience. No one has any form of patience anymore . Snail mail ,wait for people to actually get home .. yup patience and entertain yourself . That is sorely lacking these days .

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He's an amazing man, he shows me love, he respects me, he is loyal, we have never ever had a problem of him being unfaithful or something similar. He's an amazing man, we have a great relantionship.

 

I answered, he was like "Mjm? Why you didn't answered"

Me: "Well I was at the bathroom and the phone was on my room"

Him: "The phone is always somewhere else when i call you, when is this going to stop?"

Me: "You know I feel bad I'm not in the mood to fight right now"

And he hang up on me after I said that.

 

Is this normal?! What should I do?!

 

No this is not normal. This is controlling. He does not respect you. In my opinion, this is relationship is not as "great" as you think it is.

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So it's for you to be at his beck and call whenever he needs you and then it's okay for him to not answer when you try to reach him. Very hypocritical! He sounds very controlling and condescending. This rubs me the wrong way because I have been there plenty of times in past relationships. Where I can call them and they never answer but if I don't get to the phone in less then two rings I get yelled at!

 

Take it from me this is small in what else could get worse with his insecurities.

 

You need to reevaluate this situation and call him out on the double standard he set for you.

 

Lisa

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I can't wrap my mind around the idea that a person who demands you jump every time they snap their fingers via the phone or by any means for that matter, could ever be described as wonderful or amazing. No, this isn't normal. Not even close. What it is, is controlling and manipulative. And I'm pretty sure this isn't the only "problem" there is, it's just the only one you are able to bring up at this time.

 

Serious red flags everywhere. I can't tell you what I'd do to someone if they pulled that stunt on me, but it wouldn't be pretty and let's just say there'd be a doctor or two asking how the phone got up there to begin with.

 

All I'm going to tell you to do is dump him. Sorry, I don't have any other advice. I'd have been gone after the first time he did it. You tell him you're done with the manipulations and the controlling behaviors and it's over. That's what you tell him.

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I can't wrap my mind around the idea that a person who demands you jump every time they snap their fingers via the phone or by any means for that matter, could ever be described as wonderful or amazing. No, this isn't normal. Not even close. What it is, is controlling and manipulative. And I'm pretty sure this isn't the only "problem" there is, it's just the only one you are able to bring up at this time.

 

Serious red flags everywhere. I can't tell you what I'd do to someone if they pulled that stunt on me, but it wouldn't be pretty and let's just say there'd be a doctor or two asking how the phone got up there to begin with.

 

All I'm going to tell you to do is dump him. Sorry, I don't have any other advice. I'd have been gone after the first time he did it. You tell him you're done with the manipulations and the controlling behaviors and it's over. That's what you tell him.

 

Yep. Hanging around with someone this controlling and petty will really start to wear away at your sense of self. Phones are meant to be for communication, not a long-distance leash. On top of that, anyone who sulks and withdraws as a means of punishing you when you don't meet their unreasonable demands is not a person you should be involved with in the first place.

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My advice is short, sweet and to the point; on par with everyone else.

 

Disengage from his childish head games immediately..

 

It is time for an ultimatum and if he does not comply, well then he should get the boot.

 

Never tolerate such annoyance and never allow yourself to be the source of someone else's happiness, because it becomes emotionally exhausting and you will lose yourself.

 

I am speaking from experience.

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