Ex girlfriend dumped me, won't give my stuff back.

[Parky Jr7]

Broke up with ex gf a month ago, she was older than I was, she dumped me over text, won't talk to me and she eventually blocked my old phone number after an argument about not giving my stuff back. She hasn't been home in like a month (obviously playing with my mind, even tho it's over) I've got a few things left at her house, some can be replaced, some are sentimental value to me. I've tired engaging with her and her family to get my stuff dropped off (who were actually said they were going to drop it off, accidentally deleted messages cause I was in a rage, so there goes my evidence),but nothing is happening about it. Also whilst I was with her, it took nearly a year for her to give her Ex's stuff back to him. Please would love some Advice on what to do and what she's playing at

 

James.

[Fun Boater 1]

She dumped you over a text message? How long had you been dating? Text message! I can relate to this because I just went through it. Had been dating for almost 7 months, telling each other we loved each other for 4 months. She got scared, couldn't face me. Total crap!

[Wiseman2]

Send a certified notarized letter asking for your things back with an itemized list. Provide some options for their return such as picking them up, having them sent or designating a specific person to deliver them to you.

 

Do it soon. Document that you want your things. After a certain period of time, she can throw them out if you waste time whining about the breakup without proving that you've may an effort to collect them.

 

How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? Next time don't leave your stuff at gf's places if you are only dating a few mos.

 

It sounds like you are miffed she dumped you then blocked you and you want contact more than your stuff.

she dumped me over text, won't talk to me and she eventually blocked my old phone number after an argument about not giving my stuff back. I've tired engaging with her and her family to get my stuff dropped off who were actually said they were going to drop it off

[Parky Jr7]

Wasn't very long mate 3/4 months. She seems to have gone into Hiding. Not sure what to do.

[qwaspolk82]

Broke up with ex gf a month ago, she was older than I was, she dumped me over text, won't talk to me and she eventually blocked my old phone number after an argument about not giving my stuff back. She hasn't been home in like a month (obviously playing with my mind, even tho it's over) I've got a few things left at her house, some can be replaced, some are sentimental value to me. I've tired engaging with her and her family to get my stuff dropped off (who were actually said they were going to drop it off, accidentally deleted messages cause I was in a rage, so there goes my evidence),but nothing is happening about it. Also whilst I was with her, it took nearly a year for her to give her Ex's stuff back to him. Please would love some Advice on what to do and what she's playing at

 

James.

 

You're SOL until she answers you because you can't just break in and get the stuff.

 

However - were you on the lease? Are you still on the lease? If you are and have a key you can go and get the stuff until she asks for the leasing office to take you off and you sign a paper OR she evicts you.

 

I'm not sure legally what you could do. You'd have to Google it. Or go talk to a lawyer (most do free consultations).

[Parky Jr7]

About a ty little Tantrum I pulled cause I panicked whilst her car broke down the night before she broke up with me. I've been stupid over the break up period but I'm sorting my self out. Recently been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She suffers from a personality disorder and post traumatic stress disorder.

[qwaspolk82]

She dumped you over a text message? How long had you been dating? Text message! I can relate to this because I just went through it. Had been dating for almost 7 months, telling each other we loved each other for 4 months. She got scared, couldn't face me. Total crap!

 

I dumped a guy over text. I felt crappy about it - we only dated 2 months. He got stalkerish and clingy...I was at home on leave and figured do it then and he would just go away. Nope. Eventually he did. He was a nice guy but I can't do clingy and stalkerish.

[Parky Jr7]

You're SOL until she answers you because you can't just break in and get the stuff.

 

However - were you on the lease? Are you still on the lease? If you are and have a key you can go and get the stuff until she asks for the leasing office to take you off and you sign a paper OR she evicts you.

 

I'm not sure legally what you could do. You'd have to Google it. Or go talk to a lawyer (most do free consultations).

 

Wasn't on the lease (whatever it is in the U.K just had clothes over there for when I stayed round and a few dvds (where the sentimental value comes in)

[abitbroken]

Wasn't on the lease (whatever it is in the U.K just had clothes over there for when I stayed round and a few dvds (where the sentimental value comes in)

 

Forget about the DVDs. You can replace them! Unless they are dvds of family movies. I thought you meant sentimental items like a watch your grandpa gave you and its an antique that you can't replace, a photo from your childhood, etc. You can replace everything you have mentioned.

[Parky Jr7]

Forget about the DVDs. You can replace them! Unless they are dvds of family movies. I thought you meant sentimental items like a watch your grandpa gave you and its an antique that you can't replace, a photo from your childhood, etc. You can replace everything you have mentioned.

 

Yeah one DVD is very special to me tho as it was the last one my mum got me before she died when I was a child

[abitbroken]

Yeah one DVD is very special to me tho as it was the last one my mum got me before she died when I was a child

 

Get another copy. If it was of a particular movie, the movie is still the last movie she gave you.

[Parky Jr7]

Send a certified notarized letter asking for your things back with an itemized list. Provide some options for their return such as picking them up, having them sent or designating a specific person to deliver them to you.

 

Do it soon. Document that you want your things. After a certain period of time, she can throw them out if you waste time whining about the breakup without proving that you've may an effort to collect them.

 

How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? Next time don't leave your stuff at gf's places if you are only dating a few mos.

 

It sounds like you are miffed she dumped you then blocked you and you want contact more than your stuff.

 

I want my stuff more so I can move the hell on. She can keep it if she's gonna act so childish for a 44 year old women, she can even dress up as me if she wants.

[Wiseman2]

It's simple. Don't make it a tug of war. Send the certified letter and arrange somehow to get it. Nothing personal in the letter just itemized stuff, options to collect it, etc. very formal and businesslike.

 

Get your emotions and anger toward her out of the picture. That's holding you back, not your stuff.

[Parky Jr7]

It's simple. Don't make it a tug of war. Send the certified letter and arrange somehow to get it. Nothing personal in the letter just itemized stuff, options to collect it, etc. very formal and businesslike.

 

Get your emotions and anger toward her out of the picture. That's holding you back, not your stuff.

 

I agree with my emotions and my stuff is holding me back to be honest, cause it's just Principle. I don't even know if she's even been home so the letter might not even be worth my time, might have to just go there myself.

[Wiseman2]

Take a peace officer with you. Don't just show up for a confrontation and risk getting arrested for trespassing, harassment etc. Handle this with your brains not your anger and frustration.

 

A certified letter continues to be redelivered until they are home. You are making excuses in order to see her and confront her. Really bad idea. It will backfire if you show up at her place.

might have to just go there myself.

[Parky Jr7]

Take a peace officer with you. Don't just show up for a confrontation and risk getting arrested for trespassing, harassment etc. Handle this with your brains not your anger and frustration.

 

A certified letter continues to be redelivered until they are home. You are making excuses in order to see her and confront her. Really bad idea. It will backfire if you show up at her place.

 

My original message to her did hit nerve, I've had all sorts of advice from family members, I.E my dad just told me to forget about. But in my mind my stuff is till gateway to holding onto this. It's bothering me like mad. I've had a real tough time with it all this past month. I dont know what to do anymore. It's so frustrating.

[rosephase]

My original message to her did hit nerve, I've had all sorts of advice from family members, I.E my dad just told me to forget about. But in my mind my stuff is till gateway to holding onto this. It's bothering me like mad. I've had a real tough time with it all this past month. I dont know what to do anymore. It's so frustrating.

 

Just a heads up, if you get your stuff back it won't make you less mad. It won't give you closure. The best way to get that is to let it go. It sucks that you lost something sentimental but that happens. Objects get lost, damaged and destroyed. Fixating on something you aren't going to get out of her (closure, objects) is just going to cause you to be angry and hurt for longer.

[Matt3939]

You mentioned you are in the UK so I'm not sure about things over there. I have 3 solutions. First it's clothes and movies? Buddy who cares leave it its not worth it. Second send a box with a return label. No need to even see this lady. 3rd do you have a friend that's a cop go get your stuff. You might not actually have legal athority to do so but she would know u r serious. Good luck

[JaggerJim]

Go over there, and DEMAND it back.

[Wiseman2]

Go over there, and DEMAND it back.

]

[Annia]

Wasn't very long mate 3/4 months. She seems to have gone into Hiding. Not sure what to do.

 

Why and how do you know she's not been at home for a month?

 

I'd do what wiseman said, but keep in mind that it should only be about getting your stuff back and nothing else... I would even advise a delivery so that you don't have to see each other. About the breaking up by text and disappearing I know it sucks and hurts, the same happened to me once and it was awful, but you have to understand that closure is on you, not on someone else... don't give that power to her. I mean, it's not worth it trying to chase or ask for explanations from someone who doesn't want to give them to you. In time you'll have to let it go. So even though I think it's totally valid and reasonable that you want your things back, don't use it as a mean to talk to her or get answers or even prolong contact and hope that she changes her mind or gives you a false sense of closure.

 

There was also one time of my life where I didn't get back my stuff and he even owed me money that he never payed. I was in a 3 years toxic relationship and when I finally broke up with him he wouldn't want to give me my stuff back. I could've fought harder for my stuff, but at that time I just wanted to get away from him and his abusive ways, so I let it go. I'm not saying you do the same, you deserve your stuff back, just don't mix that desire with the pain and anger you're feeling.

 

Good luck.