How do I fix my relationship?

[Oddlyexcep]

My boyfriend and I have been having problems lately and I ve been getting the attention from a single guy who seems really interested in me. We haven t had sex or done anything, I just feel really bad for even thinking about having sex with this guy all the time and letting him hangout with me. But the fact of the matter is my boyfriend never wants to have sex or hangout with me. He s either at work or at home asleep. I love him and not this other guy but I don t know what to do to help our relationship.

[gebaird]

Talk to your boyfriend about how neglected you are feeling. Don't whine or blame, just state the facts. Don't threaten to leave, but impress upon him the seriousness of the situation. Consider couples counseling if he's open to the idea.

 

If you can't get his attention, or if he makes temporary changes and immediately reverts back to old patterns, end the relationship and find someone who is at least willing to try to meet your needs. But deal with your current relationship before becoming emotionally or physically involved with someone else.

[jujusamples]

My boyfriend and I have been having problems lately and I ve been getting the attention from a single guy who seems really interested in me. We haven t had sex or done anything, I just feel really bad for even thinking about having sex with this guy all the time and letting him hangout with me. But the fact of the matter is my boyfriend never wants to have sex or hangout with me. He s either at work or at home asleep. I love him and not this other guy but I don t know what to do to help our relationship.

 

What you are doing is taking the easy route out! What I mean by that is; you are feeling hurt and alone because you are neglected by your boyfriend. Here comes this single guy who is willing to give you all that your boyfriend can't. You are just using this guy to fill the void.

You are making a messy situation messier.

 

I'd say, talk to your boyfriend, let him know exactly how you feel and see where you stand. See if your boyfriend is willing to work on the relationship, make changes together. It's all in the communications. If your boyfriend is not willing to compromise or could give you what you want and need, it's time to re-evaluate and walk away. It all boils down to if the two of you are willing to continue to fight for the relationship, if you don't communicate you are never going to resolve to get to the bottom of this.

 

Even if things don't work out with your boyfriend, please don't jump into a relationship with this guy. It's called a re-bound and I sense you are setting up a re-bound situation before it even ended with your boyfriend. I understand, you are afraid that it's ending with your current boyfriend so you are subconsciously finding a backup. Believe me, it will get messy and ugly! You will be even more hurt if it doesn't work out with the re-bound.

 

I was in a 5 year relationship and things turned out the same as the situation you are in at the time. We got to a point where we didn't really have a relationship anymore. Except in my situation, I sort of lost romantic feelings for my boyfriend. I did exactly just that, started talking to this single guy everyday, hung out all the time. Then I ended it with my boyfriend and jumped into a relationship with that guy. I thought I liked him and it will work. No, it did not work out and he was just a re-bound. (I couldn't admit that at the time) Except when things ended with the re-bound, I was devastated, more hurt than I was when my 5 year relationship ended. You know why? It's because I never taken the time to heal the lost of the 5 year relationship. I used the re-bound to void and ignore my feelings. It all came exploding and trust me, it's overwhelming. I thought I was going to die of depression.

 

Point is, it will be much easier on you to talk to your boyfriend, see if it could still work. If not, I'd say take some time to yourself to get over the relationship first. Distance yourself from the single guy in the meantime. Give yourself time, think things through. Good luck!

[SherrySher]

Talk to your boyfriend and tell him what is bothering you and stop hanging out with this other guy. Work on fixing things between you and your boyfriend.

If you still want to hang out with this other guy, end things with the boyfriend.

Don't play around with people's feelings. Be with one or the other, not both.

[ShatteredMan]

Talk to your boyfriend and tell him what is bothering you and stop hanging out with this other guy. Work on fixing things between you and your boyfriend.

If you still want to hang out with this other guy, end things with the boyfriend.

Don't play around with people's feelings. Be with one or the other, not both.

 

Do this now. Fix things with your boyfriend or end it.

 

You are essentially "emotionally cheating" on him with this other guy and is disrespectful to someone who has (presumably) genuine feelings for you.

 

Do not stay in your relationship with your BF because you are "afraid of hurting him" because you are already doing this despite him not knowing what is going on. It is better to end it sooner than later because it will allow him the process to start healing sooner than later. As a byproduct, he will then find someone else who will be a better fit for him.

[Wiseman2]

Stepping outside the relationship won't fix it. Do you live together? How long have you been dating? If you are incompatible, your needs are not being met, etc. it may be best to end it.

 

Getting complacent for the sake of a security blanket lacks confidence...also don't string him along and justify cheating.

 

You are already cheating by hanging out with this new guy you want sex with.

My boyfriend and I have been having problems lately and I ve been getting the attention from a single guy who seems really interested in me. We haven t had sex or done anything, I just feel really bad for even thinking about having sex with this guy all the time and letting him hangout with me.

[Matt3939]

If you read your subject then a sentence in. If you want any chance of fixing anything with your current partner. Stop with the new guy and have a talk with your bf.

[Oddlyexcep]

Thanks guys, I've completely cut the other guy off and am just with my boyfriend. I talked to him, we'll told him a portion of how I felt but in time I want to work it out with him.