RKO Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I'm not sure if this is just romantic talk or whatever or if it's actually genuine, but I've been told and read countless times that sometimes when you're dating someone or with them you just "know" that this one is different and possibly "the one" , again I'm not sure if this is just chick flick talk or genuine. I've gone one 5 dates with this girl now, I've posted a couple of times about her. Sunday we spent literally the whole day together, not slept with each other but we held hands and hadn't a couple of kisses (I wanted a lot more kisses haha) it was such a nice day, she was so happy I was so happy. Now here's the part that I'm not sure if it's just being caught up in the rush of it all but, it feels different, I've not felt like this about someone, excitement to see someone, butterflies when the phone comes on with their name etc, since my 1st gf. It just feels right. I can't explain it. I've not mentioned a word of this to her for obvious reasons of possibly making her run to the hills but it's never been this good. I'm i just needing to man up here? Ha Link to comment
gebaird Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I don't think there is just "one" person for each of us, but there are certain people that we can really click with. Somehow they just feel right, and even when the 'falling in love' chemicals are gone, the relationship continues to be wonderful. I hope this relationship will continue to be a positive experience for you Enjoy every minute of it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Sounds like it's going great and that's a good start. It's not 'the one' until you've confirmed the sex is off the charts. lol. All kidding aside, enjoy whatever this is and let things grow and take shape. Link to comment
rosephase Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Limerence is a real thing. It can make that "the one" feeling happen for folks. It sounds like you are getting the happy brain chemicals that show up when you really click with someone. Have fun! Link to comment
notalady Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 For me "just know" is real, and a few people have told me this over time (men and women), that when you meet the one, you just know. Now, for me, "just know" isn't a feeling based on infatuation or rose tinted glasses, it isn't a conclusion you can reach or even suspect to be true after only 5 dates. For me, it is proven over time, when I saw there were no red flags, and saw that we are compatible in many ways, that I've never experienced with anyone before. I knew for sure he was different from all the other guys I've dated after maybe a month or so, and was cautiously optimistic. I had a really good feeling about the relationship and about him, after 3 months, I knew he was someone special and about 6 months, I thought, I think this is the one, I think we're going the distance. Of course, more getting to know each other was required. Now 1.5 year in, I can say for sure he's the one for me. And I "just know", and it's a feeling backed up by evidence, not romance and infatuation. Link to comment
Krankor Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 You're experiencing a nice little cocktail of hormones. Nothing wrong with that--it's a wonderful part of life. But it's not some supernatural force clueing you in on anything. It's just your brain thinking "Awesome! I think we are on our way to mating with this woman and she seems to have good genes!" As for someone being "the one?" Well, believing that each of us has some "soul mate" appointed by the Universe is silly romanticism. However, choosing to make someone "the one"--as long as she's on the same page--makes her "the one." Link to comment
Ksol9 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I don't think there is just "one" person for each of us, but there are certain people that we can really click with. Somehow they just feel right, and even when the 'falling in love' chemicals are gone, the relationship continues to be wonderful. I hope this relationship will continue to be a positive experience for you Enjoy every minute of it. What gebaird said here is important. Make note of it. Link to comment
UnchainedSoul Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I do think there is a "one" because obviously I found it. Haha. Kidding aside, just enjoy yourself man. You feel butterflies, feel em, life is about trying to find as much joy as you can so when you find it, enjoy it. Link to comment
RKO Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Positive vibes all around this post. I like it! Interesting wiki page too. I'm pretty sure we are on the same page but not had that "is this going anywhere" chat. When is a good time to bring this up? I'm so out of practise Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Just say "I'd like to be exclusive with you. You are the only woman I am seeing". Definitely say this before you intend to have sex. But don't ask 'where are we going?, etc' I'm pretty sure we are on the same page but not had that "is this going anywhere" chat. Link to comment
RKO Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Ok thanks. Is 5 dates a bit premature? I mean I'm pretty sure the answer will be a positive one but would still like to know Link to comment
Krankor Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Just say "I'd like to be exclusive with you. You are the only woman I am seeing". Definitely say this before you intend to have sex. But don't ask 'where are we going?, etc' I second that. State what you want in a direct, confident way. Questions like "Where is this going?" are too open-ended and sound like -footing. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I'd say absolutely not. I don't think I'm jaded either. I think there are multiple people out there who one can fall in love with. Yes some are much better matches. It's just obvious it's nature's way to bring people together. At least i hope that is the case so I don't think I came in contact but lost the one lol. Link to comment
gebaird Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Ok thanks. Is 5 dates a bit premature? I mean I'm pretty sure the answer will be a positive one but would still like to know Depends on the girl and the situation. Trust your intuition. You'll know when the time is right. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 lol. sound like -footing. ] Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I think it's possible to "just know" and I think many who "just know" early on end up ending things because of exactly what they knew early on. Just know is not essential to figuring out whether you're with the right person - some people are not sure early on or have doubts or see potential -a whole range - and people who are happily coupled/married for a long time will tell you all sorts of different versions. Others rewrite the past and put a "just know" spin on it or "fate" (my story can read just like a fate story!). I would just enjoy the just know feeling and over a period of time you will see how she is in all different typical and atypical life situations -meaning at least 6 months or the better part of a year. Not 5 dates. Link to comment
limichelle Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I had that same rush of feelings after the first date with my ex. We had a happy seven years together and even through the worst of times that feeling never subsided. It felt like a constant honeymoon period. I wish you the same happiness. Lisa Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 I do believe in "the one". Just I believe that anybody can be the one. Like in that movie "mr nobody" Link to comment
RKO Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Another great date tonight, both got a lot closer and opened up about feelings, both very much in the same page. I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend or anyhting. As a poster said you know when is right and right now it feels a little too early but it's 100% heading that way. I am literally so happy with this part of my life right now. Sorry to go on 🙈 Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 4, 2017 Share Posted February 4, 2017 Another great date tonight, both got a lot closer and opened up about feelings, both very much in the same page. I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend or anyhting. As a poster said you know when is right and right now it feels a little too early but it's 100% heading that way. I am literally so happy with this part of my life right now. Sorry to go on 🙈 Keep in mind it's easy to "just know it is right" when the person you feel that way about is someone you met recently. Link to comment
RKO Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 I think I may have hit a blip guys... We had a lovely day out today, went to a waterfall and took some stunning pics, lovely day. I put a picture of it on Facebook and said "lovely afternoon out with *name*" Whilst the tag is still there she's removed it off her profile. Why would someone do that? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 Did you ask her permission first? Is she active on Facebook? Maybe she likes to keep her dating life private. Link to comment
RKO Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 No didn't ask, didn't think it was something to ask? If you mean active then yes she has shown as "active" on the chat part Link to comment
notalady Posted February 5, 2017 Share Posted February 5, 2017 I would've asked. Especially if it's the first time. For a lot of people, it's too early to be tagging someone you're dating, only to find out a date or two later, it doesn't work out. It's fine not wanting people on Facebook to know about your dating life until you feel comfortable that it's going to last. (Or for some, never posting their dating life on Facebook). Link to comment
RKO Posted February 5, 2017 Author Share Posted February 5, 2017 Ok that's fair enough. I didn't think that through. It's just that we have been making plans for an event in may, to go meet her friends in a city far away. I just presumed things are going the distance. Maybe time to take a step back and breath Link to comment
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