bunzana Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Almost one year ago I met the man I wanted to spend my life with. We had a very strong connection from the moment that we met, and we both felt that we had found the one. Unfortunately, he was in my country on a visa, and he had to leave in November. He found a job to sponsor him in my country and they have been trying to get him back to the country since November. He was denied twice. We have now hired a lawyer who has said that he has a 50-75% chance of coming back. I have never been in a long-distance relationship before, and I could never have imagined how difficult it would be. We both put in a great deal of effort to stay connected and keep our relationship going, but naturally conflicts arise. We are both extremely frustrated at the situation. We want to be together more than anything but we can't. It is heart breaking to feel like we have finally found "the one" and not be able to physically be together. I am emotionally exhausted. I struggle with living my life and trying not to think of the painful situation, and feel like my life is on hold and all I am doing is waiting for him to come back. I have trouble concentrating at school and work. I am rarely happy. Mostly I am just depressed, and feel hopeless and envious of other couples around me who are able to see eachother whenever they feel like it. Everyday I wonder: what if he never comes back? What if I am going through all this pain for nothing? He is dealing much better with the situation than I am. He distracts himself by going out practically all the time, seeing all his friends, and he isn't working currently. I am not able to sponsor him to come to my country as I am still a student, and financially dependent upon my parents. So this is not an option. All I can do is wait and hope that it works this time. But what do I do if it doesn't? Do I continue to wait, and feel miserable? I feel like it is a situation in which I cannot win. If I stay with him I am miserable, if I leave him I will probably be even more miserable. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 How did you meet him? Did you know when you met that this relationship likely had a shelf life or did he not let you know that his visa would be expiring within months? Link to comment
bunzana Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 We met through friends while he was working here. I never really thought about the fact that he would have to leave. I didn't expect our relationship to develop into what it has, and to be honest never really thought about possibility that he might have to return home. Link to comment
Wait 4 what Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 This is tough. I feel like you have to do your best to keep happy in the meantime. Stay hopeful. But stay busy so that you do not overwhelm yourself. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Sorry to hear this is happening. All you can do is let him handle this and take note of his casual, relaxed reaction to being back home. Do you know why that is? He was denied twice. Link to comment
bunzana Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 I wouldn't say he's been relaxed, but he's much better at hiding his emotions and distracting himself from them. His denial is likely due to his overstay while he was here the first time. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Is it the United States he's trying to get back to? If so, given the current climate regarding immigrants it's highly likely he won't be allowed back. "Overstaying" could be viewed as breaking the law. So that could decrease his chances of being allowed back. Of course, if this isn't the US I have no idea how difficult him "overstaying" previously will make his bid to come back. You say "we" hired a lawyer, are you helping him pay for the lawyer? Link to comment
bunzana Posted January 31, 2017 Author Share Posted January 31, 2017 Is it the United States he's trying to get back to? If so, given the current climate regarding immigrants it's highly likely he won't be allowed back. "Overstaying" could be viewed as breaking the law. So that could decrease his chances of being allowed back. Of course, if this isn't the US I have no idea how difficult him "overstaying" previously will make his bid to come back. You say "we" hired a lawyer, are you helping him pay for the lawyer? No it's Canada, thank goodness. And no I am not helping pay for the lawyer. Link to comment
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