andreww Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 6 months ago, I met this girl on an online dating site. We went on 3 dates and we got along well, we held hands, we kissed (most of these were initiated by me), but suddenly she told me she felt she wasn't ready for a new relationship yet (she went out of a long relationship a few months before meeting me). I decided to remain friends with her, hoping things could go my way in the future. We talked almost every day since then and met ”just as friends” a few times. Until we did a party together with some of my friends at my house, when, after a few drinks, I found myself cuddling and kissing with her. After new years eve, she seemed to become interested again. After a week, I invited her to my house to watch a movie and we cuddled and kissed (she initiated it). While texting, she joked about me "cheating on her" and things like that, like we were in a relationship. I tried not to be the one to initiate kissing and stuff, cause I didn't wan't to seem like an easy target again (as I think I seemed when we first dated). Then, after another week, we went to a party together with some of her friends where, to my surprise, she ignored me nearly the whole night and she talked a lot with a guy I didn't know. She went out of the club to smoke with him a couple times, without telling me to come too and, out of jealousy and because I got drunk, I followed her and him. She seemed to avoid me the whole night, but I was stupid enough not to leave her alone and go home, making me seem desperate. Next day, she told me she was drunk (which I believe) and she is sorry she didn't stay with me much, but she had to stay with her friends (even though mostly she stayed with that guy). I told her that I acted how I acted cause I was drunk and annoyed by he inviting me to a party to then ignore me. I talked with one of her best friends who told me that she started to like me again after we kissed at my home, but she disliked the fact that I don't seem confident on my intents with her (as I told, I only let her initiate things after she first told me she didn't want a relationship). I now have a feeling that she lost interest again , but not because that guy means anything to her, but because of me acting desperate at the party. What should I do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Sorry to hear this is happening, it sounds too all over the place. It seems there were 3 dates, then friendzoning, then sorta hanging out but nothing exclusive or defined. Overall it sounds like she's not ready to date exclusively no less have a relationship. Try not to wait around in the friendzone. Distance yourself, go no contact and try to move on. If she comes around one day and wants what you want (exclusive one-on-one dating?), you can reconsider at that time. But for now, she's playing games.We went on 3 dates suddenly she told me she felt she wasn't ready for a new relationship. she disliked the fact that I don't seem confident on my intents with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoe141 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I'd drop her and move on. It sounds like you're there for her at the drop of a dime and she recognizes that. She's using you for whatever reason. Loneliness, likes the attention, etc. pick your flavor. Don't be with someone who's so wishy washy. You don't belong on a shelf, only to be taken down when needed. I'd tell her that you're moving on. She may beg, plead or throw herself on you. Don't fall for it. Stay strong and go NC. You'll be better off in the long run. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyAbbey31 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 I think you should stop hanging out in what sounds like an ambiguous 'friend zone.' You should either: 1) Tell her that you are interested in her and only her, and that you're ready for a relationship. If the real reason for her backing off of late is because she doesn't like that you seem unclear and unconfident in your intentions, then be very clear and confident in telling her your intentions. Tell her openly and honestly how you feel about her, and ask her on a date. 2) Break all contact with her and move on. It's up to you if you want to tell her you're going to do this or not, but you will have a harder time moving on from her if you remain in even casual contact. So those, in my view, are your two options if you want anything to change. Pick one direction or the other, and get yourself out of the middle of the road. You're just headed for more of the same right now. If she says no to the date then please let her go. You'll get hurt if you pretend that being friends is good enough, and she might respect you less if you do. So pick a lane -and good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShatteredMan Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Sorry to hear this is happening, it sounds too all over the place. It seems there were 3 dates, then friendzoning, then sorta hanging out but nothing exclusive or defined. Overall it sounds like she's not ready to date exclusively no less have a relationship. Try not to wait around in the friendzone. Distance yourself, go no contact and try to move on. If she comes around one day and wants what you want (exclusive one-on-one dating?), you can reconsider at that time. But for now, she's playing games. Truth. Go NC and get out of there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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