popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I'm on a few dating sites and all I seem to attract is men who are players or married . All I want is to be loved. They say there is someone for everyone , yeah right!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 If your online dating pic is like your profile pic here, I'm not surprised you are getting these results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 ^^^ lol. don't take words outta my mouth. it's not hygienic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
limichelle Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Hi, don't give up there are those that take dating seriously on those sites. Maybe set different standards when looking? I know the player types are the ones who are really good looking and make lots of money or as they say they do. There is someone just right for you. You could Also keep the sight up, step back from it for awhile and see who contacts you. Also weed out right away someone with any red flags. Just block and move on. Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 You rule them out before or after meeting. Why don't you browse the sites and message who you want to rather than complain "you attract players/ married guys"?I'm on a few dating sites and all I seem to attract is men who are players or married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 OP there are good guys out there. Some of us are looking for the exact same thing. Its hard on both sides. I'm sure the players or married guys are actively messaging a whole mess of woman. Why not look at the profiles and message one that you find interesting? Sometimes the good ones missed you. At least you have more control over the people you talk to then. BTW just as I'm sure a woman likes to get a message from a guy. It goes both ways we like to get them too. Good luck BTW the above might be correct a bit more conservative but still attractive. I know when I'm looking if a woman is showing to much I go right past them. That screams player in the female sense of the word to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evad1 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I'm on a few dating sites and all I seem to attract is men who are players or married . All I want is to be loved. They say there is someone for everyone , yeah right!! Make sure you're paying for dating site you're using. I mean I had a friend who used tinder and she kept wondering why the guys were always playing her. You can't meet the love of your life on a site like tinder. ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evad1 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Well a small percentage may but let's be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 what made you choose a cleavage pic over a good looking face like that? honestly, if the low cut top was on your OLD profile, i'm surprised if the worst you got were players. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gebaird Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I like the new pic Truly hope you can find the love you are looking for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 That new one is me. The other one was my friend. She set up my account with her photo. Lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 If your online dating pic is like your profile pic here, I'm not surprised you are getting these results. That picture wasn't me. I have put on my own profile photo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 keep this one. you are a very pretty lady. you don't need desperate cleavage pics with that face. how many times do you see a guy typically before you find out he is married or similar? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 Hi, don't give up there are those that take dating seriously on those sites. Maybe set different standards when looking? I know the player types are the ones who are really good looking and make lots of money or as they say they do. There is someone just right for you. You could Also keep the sight up, step back from it for awhile and see who contacts you. Also weed out right away someone with any red flags. Just block and move on. Lisa I do !!! Lol. I'm a serial blocker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leseine7 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I hate the posts about your profile pic. That is so unhelpful and judgmental, and frankly, no one's business what you are putting on your profile. Yes it is important to have an adequate portrayal of yourself in your OLD profile, but what is more important is to figure out a radar for the kinds of guys you are dating. While I was OLD, I dated multiple shady dudes who were players and broke down my self esteem. I had one friend eventually pull me aside and say "look, you are a catch and you can do better than dating these losers. I'm not judging you. I think your 'picker' is off and you need to get a better idea of what you want in your dating life." What I realized was that I had trouble believing I deserved someone who would treat me with respect, really want the same things I wanted, and be the RIGHT partner. So, I set out to make that happen - to start feeling more deserving of that kind of relationship, and to immediately end any relationship that wasn't going to serve me the same way. It changed my whole life to adopt this new thinking, seriously. It seems impossible to find, but there is someone out there deserving of you. So don't settle for less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Try not to get burned out or cynical. OLD is full of flakes and disappointments. Set up a system. Make sure your profile and pics are good. Then browse for those with your likes/preferences and rule out the dislikes. Then message briefly. Then meet up for a brief coffee type meet for the first time after a few messages asap. Don't wast time on creeps, sex chat, "hey" type approaches, those who stall meeting, etc. Go on a second date if there is interest. You can't get played if you take it slowly and watch out for inconsistencies and lies, etc.I'm on a few dating sites and all I seem to attract is men who are players or married . All I want is to be loved. They say there is someone for everyone , yeah right!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evad1 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I do !!! Lol. I'm a serial blocker. lol serial blocker. You can't ever weed through them fast enough. Not to offend but are you also a well rounded person. Sometimes there are things you may need to work on to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 keep this one. you are a very pretty lady. you don't need desperate cleavage pics with that face. how many times do you see a guy typically before you find out he is married or similar? I have chatted to guys online. As soon as I ask , so how long you been single ? They come out with , well I'm not happy in my relationship, or say I'm not really single. That's when I block them. Been on 2 dates. In 6 months. Was chatting for ages before I met them. One turned out to be a drug user , and the other was a player. Chatting online to loads of women. I must be naive or old fashioned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I hate the posts about your profile pic. That is so unhelpful and judgmental, and frankly, no one's business what you are putting on your profile. nobody was passing judgements. she asked why she attracted players. there was a picture the entirety of which was taken up by a revealed chest. nothing else. breasts breasts breasts. we are not saying it's our business. we are saying that players are drawn to nearly bear breasts. the replies weren't unhelpful. pictures like those are unhelpful in the search of a serious mate. we had assumed she used the same picture on OLD. she corrected us later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popeye541 Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 I hate the posts about your profile pic. That is so unhelpful and judgmental, and frankly, no one's business what you are putting on your profile. Yes it is important to have an adequate portrayal of yourself in your OLD profile, but what is more important is to figure out a radar for the kinds of guys you are dating. While I was OLD, I dated multiple shady dudes who were players and broke down my self esteem. I had one friend eventually pull me aside and say "look, you are a catch and you can do better than dating these losers. I'm not judging you. I think your 'picker' is off and you need to get a better idea of what you want in your dating life." What I realized was that I had trouble believing I deserved someone who would treat me with respect, really want the same things I wanted, and be the RIGHT partner. So, I set out to make that happen - to start feeling more deserving of that kind of relationship, and to immediately end any relationship that wasn't going to serve me the same way. It changed my whole life to adopt this new thinking, seriously. It seems impossible to find, but there is someone out there deserving of you. So don't settle for less. Thank you for your lovely advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyCoast Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I have chatted to guys online. As soon as I ask , so how long you been single ? They come out with , well I'm not happy in my relationship, or say I'm not really single. That's when I block them. Been on 2 dates. In 6 months. Was chatting for ages before I met them. One turned out to be a drug user , and the other was a player. Chatting online to loads of women. I must be naive or old fashioned. oh that. no, it's not you, it's OLD. it's tough like that. how many old sites are you using? maybe sign up for an extra one? yeah it takes a lot of contacts to and fro to find a nice person. the guys on here have the same problem. keep swiping all you can lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evad1 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 I have chatted to guys online. As soon as I ask , so how long you been single ? They come out with , well I'm not happy in my relationship, or say I'm not really single. That's when I block them. Been on 2 dates. In 6 months. Was chatting for ages before I met them. One turned out to be a drug user , and the other was a player. Chatting online to loads of women. I must be naive or old fashioned. That's why I said you can't ever weed through them fast enough lol. I tried online and it was horrible to be honest. Rarely did I get good conversation which is what I was looking for. Anyone have an answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Rome wasn't built in a day. Be patient, you will find a good man, it sometimes takes longer than we imagine. Have a friend (male if possible) take a look at your profile and see if it's attracting the right type of guy. Also, go to a paying site. People paying money are mostly looking for serious relationships not just aimlessly wandering along looking for low hanging fruit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 This is a huge mistake. It's a red flag if they are not willing to meet after a few messages.Was chatting for ages before I met them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coily Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Much cuter profile picture. I get where you are coming from with the online dating, and as a guy who makes little headway in the dating field thanks to the players; let me give you some thoughts. Firstly is don't dismiss a guy who isn't the hottest stuff on there, so maybe reevaluate who you are responding to. Look closely to the ones who are trying to be engaging but not long winded (OK maybe a me thing, but as a guy I find it's 99% of me initiating a conversation so I don't waste a lot of time trying to be clever, I as a few leading questions). Secondly women can just as easily initiate without coming on too strong, again read the profile closely and ask a few things to get the conversation started. Next maybe give a nice guy a chance, no not the "nice guy syndrome" conversation. Just the polite kind of guy, who isn't Fabio. Lastly, look at what you put in your profile, text and image. As a guy I like it when I can read more than just a laundry list of complaints or junk such as "My dog/kid/goldfish is my life." We don't expect you to push everything out for us, but things like that make the better class of guys think you have no room for us; just the concept of us. That also follows with the pictures, the more portrait like the better; the top of your head and it mostly your dog/cat/llama isn't exactly what I am looking for. Of course there is the old saw of join meet up groups, social interests that get you involved with groups of potentially eligible men, who you can vet a bit from your interactions. Also the most suave guy isn't always going to be the best.... Just pitching for my team. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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