GooseGuy Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Disclaimer: sorry if this belongs in a different subforum, it seemed the best fit here. Ok so, I started befriending this girl I met online by chance about 6 months ago. Into the same things I am like economics and politics, good sense of humor, similar music, pretty, and she was basically a dream come true for me. Our "friends" stage lasted about a month, we eventually got to texting every day for hours and had a few awkward video calls. Neither of us wanted a relationship with the other, she wasn't over her ex who left her, and I thought a relationship in our scenario was stupid. But we became closer as time went on and she said she wanted a relationship, even though she thought her ex (let's call him emo Steve) was still her first choice. I wanted her to at this point and thought if I tried hard enough, I could help her get over him. I fell in love and thought she did to, but she just loved me. Backstory on emo Steve: he is in Argentina and they've never met either but they've been close friends for a few years, with a few month go at dating **I know this is a very screwed up love triangle** He's has problems with severe depression to the point of being suicidal and he'll ignore her for days on end when he doesn't feel like talking. Anyway, everything was perfect for me and her. The talking, the laughing, the (online) "sex". I've never smiled so much or been so comfortable with anyone else. Her smile was the light of everyday. I finally had a goal in my life, to be with her. I had forgotten about emo Steve besides when she brought him up. Always negative things. He got in a fight, he's been drinking, he wants to kill himself, etc. I was always supportive. But when she mentioned him about a month or so ago, she said he was acting like himself again and being happy. This worried me but passed it off as a selfish thought, I should be happy her close friend doesn't want to kill himself anymore. She became depressed **she gets one or two day bouts of depression every once and a while (no it's not her period)** and distant in the next week or so, saying she hated love and how perfect Hollywood makes it seem. I tried to help but she wouldn't let me. It came down to her telling me I still wasn't her first choice. I didn't take it very well, cried in front of her (videocall) and couldn't give an answer on how to proceed. I wasn't mad, just crushed. She ended up breaking up with me rather coldly to try and pursue him. I know this is all through a screen but it's so much more real than that. I was destroyed. I quit my job and just broke down for days. Only in the past week have I been able to start functioning again. We didn't really talk to each other for a week but we are now talking a decent amount Emo Steve of course, fooled her again with his happiness and promises only to leave her crushed. Another one of his depression cycles. Now she wants me back, saying her heart has finally caught up with her brain. I declined for now even though I really didn't want to. She's currently traveling with family so I told her we can have a videocall to try and work things out when she gets home. I want to note she has never lied and she feels she doesn't deserve me after what she did. But I can't know how sincere that is after how cold she was just a couple weeks ago. And this is all so much harder to deal with because I can't be there in person. Do you think I should take her back? Is there any suggestions for rules or boundaries to bring up when I try to work everything out with her? BTW I'm 18, she's 17, emo Steve is 17. Me and her broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm in America, she's in Australia. Link to comment
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