Does he just not care about me? Is he emotionless?

[electricorchid]

I'm 22 and my boyfriends 28. He's a new relationship for me, in fact my second relationship since 4 years. He's been an incredible person to me, on my birthday he was incredible... treated my girlfriends and I like royalty. When we hang out in person he's great, we always have a great time and we communicate pretty well IN person...

 

However, before we were together I was in Miami for a month. I was gone and he's not very social media active and I noticed he made an effort. he sent me a snapchat almost everyday of what he was up to.. he texted me first everyday. He was also on holiday from work and we were just still talking consistently. He doesnt like talking on the phone but he called me on two different occasions and we talked for like an hour straight each time, even though he told me he had bad experiences talking on the phone because his ex would call him every night that they weren't together to talk on the phone.

 

When we came back from holiday I noticed he's been busier with work and def a little more stressed. Which I totally understand. But lately he's seriously so off on his communication skills, he doesnt text me at all, all day till 6 pm or 4 pm...

He also went to switzerland recently and he was being so weird on the phone like he didnt know what to ask me and what to talk about. there were a lot of pauses and I confronted him about why we gets so awkward on the phone?

 

While he'll admit to me that he's not very good at communicating on the phone I feel as if he doesn't make any effort to change this. Today I texted him first because I knew he had to wake up super early for a meeting, he answered that he's been moving nonstop all day but that the day is almost over and then i said replied back with "Just wanted to check in on you because I know you had to wake up early, wanted to know how you were feeling" and all he said was "great! thankyou".

 

I'm a very communicative person and I don't know how else to bring this is up or tell him that I feel that in person he's just fine but via phone theres literally almost little to no effort in wanting to talk to me. Or it feels forced, like a hassle. I'm very confused. Any Advice?

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating. Maybe he's not as into texting ans social media as you are. Keep in mind texting and social media are not dating or a relationship, being in person is.

 

See how it goes and if you need someone who wants to text all day or talk on the phone all the time, perhaps you're incompatible. Try not to revolve you life around anyone or how often they text. Do you have friends and family you can text with all day or phone at night?

I'm 22 and my boyfriends 28.He's been an incredible person to me, on my birthday he was incredible.When we hang out in person he's great, we always have a great time and we communicate pretty well IN person... he's not very social media active and I noticed he made an effort. he sent me a snapchat almost everyday of what he was up to. he doesnt text me at all, all day till 6 pm or 4 pm...he'll admit to me that he's not very good at communicating on the phone I feel as if he doesn't make any effort to change this.

[Batya33]

I think you're confusing texting with communication. Seems to me you need to hear from him constantly for reassurance not because you want healthy and meaningful communication. You don't want to communicate you want him to check in with you so you know what he's doing. Why? That's not a sign of communication but a sign of insecurity. That's why he doesn't like talking on the phone - it's not a natural flow - he feels like he has to report to you where he's been and what he is doing and how much he misses you. Give him space to miss you and talk a few times a week at most - spend time in person and save up stories and anecdotes to share with him. Far more interesting and intriguing and exciting than this constant keep him on a short leash texting.

[BlarneyStone]

He doesn't care about you... even though he actively snap chats, texts, and calls you despite not being into social media and things of that nature.

[Ms Darcy]

Batya's right. Texting doesn't equal communication.

 

Sorry, I think you are way too needy about staying in touch and only in the ways YOU are interested in.

 

I think he can find a woman who is much calmer/less demanding about all the communication.

[LadyAbbey31]

I think talking every day while someone is out of town (whether by phone or text) and trying to keeping it interesting for days/weeks at a time is a very hard thing to maintain.

I am surprised to hear that you would go so far as to describe him as 'emotionless.' I am not very good on the phone either, I clam up a bit (if it's the beginning of a relationship). I am definitely not 'emotionless' and I would find it a bit too confrontational for someone to ask me later "why are you awkward while talking on the phone?" I just am, and the guy you're talking to 'just is' too. It doesn't mean he doesn't care. Quite the opposite- if you were away for a month and he kept in touch at least once every day, that's a testament to wanting you in his life. If he is away now and keeping in touch every day or every other day, again it's a testament to wanting you in his life.

I think you should stop pressing him for more/better communication while one of you is away. Sounds like he's putting in enough effort to keep things going. If these separations are only temporary things, then you will have an easier time with the relationship when he is back. You can spend more time in person instead of being stuck communicating by phone, and communication and reading one another is always easier that way. Good luck!