anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 My husband and I have been together for 3 years, he is 44 I am 32 years old, he is the most un-affectionate person I know. When we have sex he doesn't last long it's only 2 minutes, I start thinking maybe if he was with someone else he would last longer. My husbands talks about going to the doctor for viagara, hasn't even made the move yet. I understand that our house was flooded, and he is working on his truck but what about me? I don't even know how to talk to him anymore, male guys that I know even agree that my husband may be Uninterested in me. He can go all day without talking to me, until I get off of work. I played this out and will usually Wait for him to call me. I have needs, what entertains him is sitting at home getting drunk and passing out. Link to comment
gebaird Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Is counseling an option for you? Even if your husband won't go, it could help you. This relationship is broken inside and outside of the bedroom. If I were you, I'd fix it or end it. I don't think it will last very long if something doesn't change, and you will find yourself in the same position 3 years from now if you do nothing to change it. Is he willing to get help for his alcoholism? Until that happens, it will be very hard for you to experience sexual or romantic fulfillment. He's too in love with his bottle to make room in his heart for you. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Sorry to hear this. You are married to an alcoholic. All that can help you is to understand why you are in this dynamic. Read up on AlAnon. A support group for people involved with alcoholics you will find a lot of answers there you won't find from him. I have needs, what entertains him is sitting at home getting drunk and passing out. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 By last only 2 minutes you mean he loses his erection or he climaxes after 2 minutes? Drinking can kill a mans ability to perform so he needs to stop getting drunk. This sounds like more than just a problem in the bedroom, you have some serious relationship issues that are coming from mostly his side. Lost Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 By last only 2 minutes you mean he loses his erection or he climaxes after 2 minutes? Drinking can kill a mans ability to perform so he needs to stop getting drunk. This sounds like more than just a problem in the bedroom, you have some serious relationship issues that are coming from mostly his side. Lost He climaxes after 2 minutes Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Sorry to hear this. You are married to an alcoholic. All that can help you is to understand why you are in this dynamic. Read up on AlAnon. A support group for people involved with alcoholics you will find a lot of answers there you won't find from him. [url=" Thanks, I just don't know what to do anymore. I am not receiving what I need from him. Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Is counseling an option for you? Even if your husband won't go, it could help you. This relationship is broken inside and outside of the bedroom. If I were you, I'd fix it or end it. I don't think it will last very long if something doesn't change, and you will find yourself in the same position 3 years from now if you do nothing to change it. Is he willing to get help for his alcoholism? Until that happens, it will be very hard for you to experience sexual or romantic fulfillment. He's too in love with his bottle to make room in his heart for you. We went to one counseling session at church, he is involved in a recovery group at church but that doesn't mean he won't drink afterwards. I feel like he's making a mockery of jesus. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Premature ejaculation is also related to alcohol sexual dysfunction. He climaxes after 2 minutes Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Then it isn't an attraction problem or interest, he is to turned on by you and climaxes to fast. I am assuming he wants to last longer and give you all the pleasure he can right? If so KY makes a new lube for guys that are to quick on the draw so look into that. Also how about going at it again after 30 minutes or so? The other stuff is troubling and needs to be addressed. If he isn't interested in a healthy relationship/life and you are you are fighting an uphill battle. Lost Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Also how was your husband when you were going through your recent health scare? Supportive? Caring? Helpful? Worried? Lost Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Then it isn't an attraction problem or interest, he is to turned on by you and climaxes to fast. I am assuming he wants to last longer and give you all the pleasure he can right? If so KY makes a new lube for guys that are to quick on the draw so look into that. Also how about going at it again after 30 minutes or so? The other stuff is troubling and needs to be addressed. If he isn't interested in a healthy relationship/life and you are you are fighting an uphill battle. Lost Yed he mentions viagara, but hasn't been to the doctor yet. I tried to have him go again and he falls to sleep. We usually do oral first because he pleasures me to make up for the 2 minutes he gives me. Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Premature ejaculation is also related to alcohol sexual dysfunction. [url=" Really? I did not know that. Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Also how was your husband when you were going through your recent health scare? Supportive? Caring? Helpful? Worried? Lost He's been supportive and caring, I am having my cone biopsy next Friday. Link to comment
lostandhurt Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 So try the KY stuff and see what happens and don't be so good at oral that he is so close when it comes time to rock your world. Lost Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 I agree the bigger problem is the drinking and lack of affection and communication. I take it he doesn't do much besides the 2 minutes? He can only really help himself with the drinking. Maybe it's possible to help in the other two areas if you are both willing to work at it. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Are you looking for an affair? It seems you don't want to believe he's an alcoholic?Thanks, I just don't know what to do anymore. I am not receiving what I need from him. Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Are you looking for an affair? It seems you don't want to believe he's an alcoholic? I know he's an alcoholic but does that have to control everything? I am 32 yrs old married to him am I just supposed to twittle my fingers? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 Yes it controls everything. Alcohol controls him and therefore your marriage and it's poor quality. His relationship is with booze, not you, not Jesus not anything else. Denial will not help you nor will focusing on lesser problems such as how long sex lasts.I know he's an alcoholic but does that have to control everything? I am 32 yrs old married to him am I just supposed to twittle my fingers? Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 Yes it controls everything. Alcohol controls him and therefore your marriage and it's poor quality. His relationship is with booze, not you, not Jesus not anything else. Denial will not help you nor will focusing on lesser problems such as how long sex lasts. So what am I supposed to do? Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 I agree the bigger problem is the drinking and lack of affection and communication. I take it he doesn't do much besides the 2 minutes? He can only really help himself with the drinking. Maybe it's possible to help in the other two areas if you are both willing to work at it. Yeah, well he gives me oral to compensate for the 2 minutes of sex, but at that time I am wanting more and he is done. Link to comment
anicole Posted January 26, 2017 Author Share Posted January 26, 2017 So try the KY stuff and see what happens and don't be so good at oral that he is so close when it comes time to rock your world. Lost Ok thanks. We even tried pills that he purchased from stores and that used to work to make him last long but not anymore. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted January 26, 2017 Share Posted January 26, 2017 What about just going for round 2 or 3? Or is it just a KO Link to comment
anicole Posted January 27, 2017 Author Share Posted January 27, 2017 What about just going for round 2 or 3? Or is it just a KO Just a knock out Link to comment
485HPLady Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 I agree the drinking is a problem, but it seems that is not what you are asking about right now. The 2 minute thing is probably just the way he is. You must have known this already... anyway. Try "edging". You would have to be on top. And know his body language well. You would have to know when he is close, and slow down, almost stop.... but if you wait too long- oops. But if you do it right- there are wonderful benefits for both of you. You get to enjoy (finally) and his orgasm should be much more intense. Hope this helps. It will take some practice. If he is open minded, it would be easier for him to control the edging, since he is the one you are trying to slow down. But if not, you can try. Link to comment
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