IsaacT Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Hey guys, My girlfriend and I (20 and 22) went though a breakup about two weeks ago that followed a three-month "temporary break" that made things really messy. The details about the breakup can be found in my other recent posts if you're curious. Long story short, she hooked up with someone else during the break when we agreed not to see other people, then changed her story multiple times. I hounded for the details about what happened, then said I forgave her but clearly couldn't let it go. After changing her story a number of times, she absolutely insisted that the truth was as follows: she randomly met this guy in her building, he asked to go upstairs with her and she impulsively agreed. She then just kissed him and went a little further, then regretted it. I really didn't believe I had the full story, so I did something really stupid... I looked at her messages with this guy on her phone and found what I was afraid of: Not only did she directly invite him over, but they were flirting about the idea of him coming over two weeks before we broke up. I didn't tell her that I saw the messages or that I knew, but I continued to hound her for details, wanting her to tell me the truth. She became unbelievably frustrated and we agreed to break up; she insisted that it was my fault because I "couldn't learn to trust her or let things go". She said it was my responsibility to let her know when I had "changed enough" to make the relationship work. I'm done with the relationship, but we agreed to not talk for at least a month and left things sort of open-ended. I want to tell her I saw the texts so incredibly badly, because it kills me that she walked away from the breakup with the upper hand, fully believing it was "my fault". She fully believes she did nothing wrong and that the cause of the breakup was my unwillingness to trust her. I should also mention that I snooped once before in the past and immediately told her about it. It was a HORRIBLE ordeal; we went weeks without talking and she told me I was controlling and distrusting. Any advice is much appreciated. Link to comment
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