englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I knew this woman for 7 months with sexual relationship. I was married but my family are in another country and she married twice and currently claims to single. I found that her behavior is really bothering me. Should I discontinue the relationship? (1) She likes to hang out with a couple and flirts with the husband in front of me and his wife. She is so eager to hang out with him that sometimes making his wife jealous. Did she enjoy with this couple more than me? I am afraid she will have a Valentine dinner with the couple. (2) She always put me down and said I am not competent in this and that. I feel very inadequate in front of her. (3) She retired at age 32 and now she is 48. She had 5 properties in UK and 1 million cash. However, she never shared expenses and requested me to contribute US$3000 to 4000 per month like her ex husband did. (4) She is a kind of shopaholic and I am paying daily expenses which could run few hundred dollars one day. I am not that rich and but I tried to put on a brave face to spend to make her happy. (5) For our future relationship: Direct quote "If you divorce, you have a chance to be with me. If you don't divorce, you definitely cannot be with me". We are in a 7 month relationship now and she usually set a deadline to end the relationship but I kind of beg her and paid her (US$3000 to 4000 per month) and the deadline keeps on extension. (6) She is very flirty with guys around him. She loves to mention her ex bf and how good and rich they are. I sincerely love her and even consider to leave my wife for her. But deep down I don't know whether this is true love or simply I purchase love from her through monthly rental. I plan to leave her Feb 1. Do you think I am making the right move? Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 You mean a woman can get 3000/4000 a month from their boyfriend and all this time I have been dating for nothing? Man, have I been ripped off. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 This is my opinion, nothing good ever comes out of cheating. And you are cheating right now and not being fair to your wife. If your wife knew, surely she would have a lot of heartache. I don't feel a relationship that has started in a bad way such as this can ever be a good thing. But that's my personal opinion. A relationship should never make someone a victim and your wife is. Secondly, why exactly are you paying this woman? Do you honestly think that a woman loves you if you need to keep handing money over to her in order to keep having a chance? And lastly, it does not sound right that she is flirty with other people and does not care if she is hurting you, and as well, puts you down. Those reasons above are enough for anyone to feel that this is not a good relationship and to let go of it. Link to comment
ale2010 Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 In my opinion I think all she wants it's your money even though she has her own! Don't leave your wife over a women that flirts with other people in front of you ! Don't screw your marriage over a b**ch that's is not gonna take you serious !! Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Deep down I think she does not love me. Here is a break up email I plan to send. Give your thought as I did not want to offend her. Dear xx, In these two weeks, I found that my love and feelings towards you grew stronger. In my mind, I keep on evaluating our relationship going forward. During my recent trip to US, one night I did ask my daughter that if I separate permanently from her mother, how would she feel? She did not answer my question and then went to the bathroom, locked herself up and came out after one hour. Then, we did not talk about this issue anymore. I also made a rough calculation, I have half of the house valued at about CAD1.5 million i.e. 0.75 million. Currently, I have cash about CAD460k in my disposal. If I really go for a separation, I expect to have CAD1.21 million as my net worth and I may not be able to lay hands on other assets owned by wife. I am not too sure this CAD$1.21 million will be adequate to support our golden years if we are together (I will never lay a hand on your assets). In these few months, you also on and off mentioned about breaking up. Each time, I tried to pacify you and beg you to be together by trying to set a time limit like up to April 30/17. Honestly, I exploited your soft heartedness and know that you did not want to hurt me and hence allow me to be together up to a certain time. You also mentioned that if I love you, I should set you free. I gave serious thought about this. I truly love you and hence I know I need to sacrifice my current relationship in order to have you. Yet, I found that I am grossly inadequate in front of you and I may not be up to your standards and pisses you off quite frequently. I feel so sorry each time I piss you off due to my inadequacy. If I have a clean break with my wife and stay with you, I am really lack of confidence whether I can keep you. May be for a while but seems not able to do so on a long-term basis. After going through this rational analysis, the most appropriate course of action is let you move on or borrow your phrase "to set you free". I know that I cannot forget you and I will come up to your place to beg you to be together again. I therefore already applied to station in xxx and hope a drastic change in environment can let me gradually forget you albeit the process will be very painful. please take care. Love Link to comment
Clio Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Emotionally, it sounds like you have left your wife a long time ago so regardless of what you do with this woman, please set your wife free as well. As for this other woman, she is going to take you to the cleaners if you were to go forward with her and your golden years would end up being anything but golden. Breaking up is indeed the sane option. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I'm sorry but is this a joke or some kind of spam? If not than why do you feel the need to tell her how much money you are going to have if you divorce your wife in a break up letter? What do you have to prove to her when you are about to break up with her? In regards to your original post, I feel like you are "renting" a relationship from her. You have deadlines as to when you should break up? It's not adding up. If a woman whom truly loves you she would "respect you" as in not flirt with other men in front of you. Also would not charge you a monthly rate and thinks you are inadequate. If someone thinks I'm inadequate, I'll tell them to stuff it. I honestly feel terrible for you wife and daughter. I also believe your wife deserves to know the truth as well!! It's not fair to her that you are having an affair and then realized the affair isn't working and than go back to her as if nothing happened. I'm sorry but you've gotten yourself into a big mess! By the way, cheating is WRONG! living in a different country from your wife doesn't give you the right to cheat on her. Not only cheat but an on going relationship that you've been paying for. Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 People told me if you break up with a woman, you don't offend them. She is a shopaholic and hence I tried to give a legitimate looking reason to leave her i.e. don't have enough means to support her life. I tried to put myself down so that she will be easier to accept as she is narcissist. It seems this is the safer way to break up. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I am struggling to believe this , to believe anyone is this stupid ....sorry op if this is real my answer is the same ..no one can be this stupid and I say that with as much kindness as I can , but I can't think of another word to cover my thoughts . Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 People told me if you break up with a woman, you don't offend them. She is a shopaholic and hence I tried to give a legitimate looking reason to leave her i.e. don't have enough means to support her life. I tried to put myself down so that she will be easier to accept as she is narcissist. It seems this is the safer way to break up. What? Are you kidding? This is seriously not making any sense to me. How about your poor wife? Oh yea, your daughter? Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yes, this is true and is happening to me. Yes, I may be stupid but sometimes I just can't control myself. I never experience this before. My wife is my 1st gf and this woman did give me happiness. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yes, this is true and is happening to me. Yes, I may be stupid but sometimes I just can't control myself. I never experience this before. My wife is my 1st gf and this woman did give me happiness. ok fair enough , my apologies , I should have said naive instead .... Your g/friend is a diva and you are her purse and you have to stop tippy toe'ing round her and worried you are going to hurt her feelings , she is a money grabbing user and you are a married man ... Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Yes, this is true and is happening to me. Yes, I may be stupid but sometimes I just can't control myself. I never experience this before. My wife is my 1st gf and this woman did give me happiness. Than do you think your wife deserves this? I know this girlfriend of yours is probably making you feel all the excitement and etc but she's not good for you. There are a lot of red flags and you can't just ignore it. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Than do you think your wife deserves this? I know this girlfriend of yours is probably making you feel all the excitement and etc but she's not good for you. There are a lot of red flags and you can't just ignore it. Yes we are focusing on your g/friend here , but the bigger question is why are you doing this anyway ... what about your wife ? Link to comment
beternal Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 What proof do you have of her wealth?... That's a common trick of online scammers - pretending like they're rich so that money you send to them, although a lot to you, doesn't seem so much and that they can afford to pay you back etc... Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 What proof do you have of her wealth?... That's a common trick of online scammers - pretending like they're rich so that money you send to them, although a lot to you, doesn't seem so much and that they can afford to pay you back etc... LOL I was thinking the same; "Catfish" except this is not online. Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 This is not an online dating scam asking you to send money to Nigeria. She recently applied a car loan and wanted me to pay for her monthly installment. Since she needs to submit income proof to banks and asked me to do the formalities, I have a grasp on her financial situation. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 This is not an online dating scam asking you to send money to Nigeria. She recently applied a car loan and wanted me to pay for her monthly installment. Since she needs to submit income proof to banks and asked me to do the formalities, I have a grasp on her financial situation. Please tell me you didn't agree to this ... she is really really taking advantage ....and you are really avoiding the elephant in the room here Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 This is not an online dating scam asking you to send money to Nigeria. She recently applied a car loan and wanted me to pay for her monthly installment. Since she needs to submit income proof to banks and asked me to do the formalities, I have a grasp on her financial situation. I know this is not an online scam but it sure sounds like the "Catfish". She applied for a car loan and asked for you to pay for the installments? Yet she's mega rich? Why does she need the loan? I'm starting to think this is a bot troll! Can't be real, no one is this naive like as in what @pippy stated. Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 Look, I am genuinely look for guidance and input. This is real and I am not an unemployed psycho sitting in front of a computer screen to make this up. I am an accountant good at numbers but just when I came to relationship and woman, I am kind of in-experienced. I did not really know whether this is love or simply prostitutes in a sense you rented a lover to have affection and sex with you. It seems she is very attractive and whenever she goes, she attracts a lot of guys surrounding her to tell her how pretty she is. Link to comment
jujusamples Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Look, I am genuinely look for guidance and input. This is real and I am not an unemployed psycho sitting in front of a computer screen to make this up. I am an accountant good at numbers but just when I came to relationship and woman, I am kind of in-experienced. I did not really know whether this is love or simply prostitutes in a sense you rented a lover to have affection and sex with you. It seems she is very attractive and whenever she goes, she attracts a lot of guys surrounding her to tell her how pretty she is. Like everyone told you, there are a lot of red flags with her. She's just in it for the money. It's not a relationship when you have to pay the person monthly. Yet, she wants you to pay for her car loan.... it's another red flag. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 I suppose you could cal it a form of prostitution if that makes it easier for you to get your head around ...she is the rare ( thank god ) breed of women who think they are above the rest of us and are worthy of being kept in a luxurious life style ...you need to get rid . But the thing that is going to rattle everyone on here is that you are married and you seem not to care about your wife at home . Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 Who cares how attractive on the outside people tell her she is, she sounds like a manipulative, greedy, using beotch. First of all, she's a home wrecker and is messing about with a married man, secondly, she's making you grovel like a total jerk while she meanwhile disrespects you and flirts with other men right in front of you, an as we all know, she's getting you to pay her for her time. (Sounds more like a high priced prostitute than anything else). You're not fairing too well either though, you're treating your wife (the mother of your daughter) like dirt by doing all this cheating. Plus you're making yourself look seriously weak and unattractive by allowing yourself to be treated like a dog by this woman. You do realise that this is why she probably doesn't take you seriously, right? She knows she can play you and use you and you'll keep taking it. I do have to question the validity of any of this. It does sound far fetched, and if it is real, wow. Link to comment
englishpatient Posted January 25, 2017 Author Share Posted January 25, 2017 My wife and daughter are not living with me for certain legitimate reason and hence I am kind of a single man now. Deep down I know I need to dump her as fast as I can but I just like the love and sex I received from her. Anyway, thanks for your advice and Friday she will go on a luxury trip to Thailand and I will send that email to her. I will then changed my phone number and hope I will never see her again. Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 25, 2017 Share Posted January 25, 2017 The love? This is not love...she does not love you , she doesn't even respect you. You've got a very funny definition of what love is, and it's so far off from how this woman has treated you, it's not even funny. I still say no man can be this ridiculous, it all sounds made up. Link to comment
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