GF still fat after pregnancy

[male2008]

NOW! CALM DOWN haha

 

I know that its not unusual for women to gain weight when they get pregnant and it takes time to lose the weight.

She did let her go a lot in the pregnancy(gained about 40+ pounds) and then started couple of months after having the baby to train.

But she does not take it that serious and is ok in her diet.

 

But I have to admit it has effect on our sex life, her confidence and worries me that she wont go back to her weight before.

 

I try to help and I try to keep her motivated. I train about 5-6 times a week and stay fit.

Im not a male model but in decent shape.

 

What can I do to help her stay motivated and push her with out becoming annoying

[JaggerJim]

How long ago did she have the baby?

[Seraphim]

Can you look after your baby 4 nights a week so she can go to the gym?

[JaggerJim]

Have you offered her a gym membership? If you pay for it, she might go more often.

[Wiseman2]

Whatever you do don't be a diet coach or even mention weight, exercise etc.

 

Tell her she's beautiful, she's a new great mother, be romantic take her on dates nights, etc. that's your job. When she feels attractive to you she'll feel motivated.

 

Let her figure it out on her own if she wants to join diet groups or fitness classes etc. Never be a body nazi. You'll ensure tears and no sex doing that.

What can I do to help her stay motivated and push her with out becoming annoying

[JaggerJim]

]

 

She just needs some motivation.

[Seraphim]

Yes, become a body nazi and it's only a matter of time before your relationship is over . This woman gave birth to a child you created together. Her body will be forever different . She may not always carry extra weight but her body will always be different .

[boltnrun]

Does she have enough time and does she have enough support (meaning you or someone else cares for the baby) to get to the gym several times a week? Does she even have the energy to do so?

 

After my kids were born, I was lucky to find enough time to even straighten up the house and do some laundry, never mind spending several hours a week at the gym. I was always tired from the babies waking up at odd hours needing feeding, changing, etc. And I was fortunate enough to have a husband who DID alternate getting up with the babies during the night with me. But while he was at work...it was all me. And when he spent all day working, I sure couldn't expect to toss him the babies and announce I was going to the gym, even IF I'd had enough energy to do so.

 

I'm also fortunate to have good heredity regarding body type...both my parents were thin. So I lost weight easily but my hips are forever two inches wider and my tummy isn't completely flat. My body will NOT go back to the size 2 I was before my babies. When the kids got older I was able to dedicate more time to getting more fit, but while they were babies? Not a chance.

 

So, it's important to be realistic here. And like another poster said, are you willing to care for the baby while she goes to the gym? Are you willing to take over other chores while she works out?

[Matt3939]

Sounds to me like she was at a decent weight before the child. I'm sure she is aware of her weight gain and will take care of it as she sees fit. If you give her a hard time about it it might cause an unnecessary problem

[Hoopla]

Her body will feel completely different, and she will need time to adjust to feeling like she has a different body. Pregnancy does that.

 

The best motivational tool is positive. Her body will feel like crap and so will her mind. Fix the mind, and the body will follow.

 

Gym guilt and gym motivation is the worst, be a great man to her and lift her spirits and that will surely, in time, lift her.... um..... other aspects, haha.

[agent1607307371]

 

I try to help and I try to keep her motivated. I train about 5-6 times a week and stay fit.

 

And you're leaving her alone to look after the baby nearly every day in the week?

[zeino]

Does it affect your confidence that you have a fat girlfriend?

[SherrySher]

You train 4-5 times a week and stay fit...maybe this would work better if you found a sitter and you went and trained together, or if you stayed back with the baby and let her train.

A new mom can also be very tired, her body just went through a massive change and is trying to get used to a brand new baby, and the babies schedule (which can be very demanding) as well as her hormones trying to sort themselves out. Don't push her too hard right now.

She will have lots to do right now, so you could always help by making meals for her that are health conscious, and encouraging her, not shaming her.

But as I mentioned in the beginning, find ways to train together, even going for walks with the baby,(and in colder weather, walk on indoor tracks or even the local mall).

Be someone who is a positive in her life and will help her get her body back with all of the above suggestions. But don't be the guy who expects huge changes and yet does nothing to support and help her.