Is she waiting for me to suggest a day?

[Xiomn]

Summary:

 

- Met a girl online.

- Been talking for a bit on SC.

-Told me how she finds me attractive on multiple occasion, impressions are she likes me a lot.

-Has said I should visit her city about twice now. (To meet). Impressions are she is eager to meet me.

- Asked when she is free (she is a student, I work albeit currently taking holidays so available.)

- Said she doesn't know when she is free but I should definitely come some time.

 

Is she waiting for me to be alpha male and suggest a day? Figured asking was appropriate despite not taking initiative due to lectures etc students have.

[Wiseman2]

She sounds interested . What about narrowing it down such as "which day are you free this weekend?"

-Has said I should visit her city about twice now. (To meet).- Said she doesn't know when she is free.

[radiance]

Agree with the above - suggest a timeframe, such as this weekend or next week, that way you give her plenty of time to work around her schedule.

 

Just a side note - pllease don't believe in ideas such as "alpha males". If you have the impression that's what all women go for, it's really not.

[Xiomn]

Update: She ended up suggesting 2 days she was available. I suggested 1 of the two and it was set.

 

We met up, it was a pretty poor date to be honest. Basically she lives in Manchester and I don't know Manchester that well at all so didn't really know what to do or where to go. This I believe put her off because she said she dislikes having to make decisions like that. She obviously was looking to me on several occasions throughout the date to take charge of the situation which I failed.

 

We ended up just casually walking around the shops talking to each other for a few hours before eventually we went to a bar. Originally that was my plan all along to go to a bar first and foremost for drinks but because she had been out the night before and was still a bit hungover on the day of the date that idea got shot. I ended up getting an alcoholic drink whereas naturally alcohol was the last thing on her mind as a result of the previous night so she got a soft drink.

 

We chatted for an hour or more then she had to go home because she had tons of university work to do before Monday coming up. She had told me about all of this a few days before the date and again at the start of the date itself when I started getting to know about her and the course she studies so I felt it was genuine and didn't just want to rush off.

 

All in all I appreciated the fact she took time to still go on the date despite not feeling 100% from the night before and having lots of work to do when she could have easily asked to reschedule.

 

The date lasted just under 5 hours in all. I was seconds away from missing my train back so it ended a bit abruptly with 2 quick kisses on her cheek and jumping on the train before the doors shut. I Tried to go in with a lips but I think she naturally turned to her cheeks not sure if deliberate or not.

 

As a consequence I didn't get time to ask if she was up for another date until I messaged her after I got home in reply to her saying she had a good time. Unfortunately she said she didn't feel that way towards me and didn't feel there was a spark with differences between us.

 

Part of this was probably my own fault for not touching her pretty much at all apart from a hug upon first sight and a very quick kiss on the cheek before leaving, no holding hands or anything. No physical contact in that way so maybe I came across as more a friend than someone with romantic intentions. Who knows. She gave impression she was really attracted to me before we met and i caught her twindling with her hair as girls do presumably when they see someone they like. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything and that would be the best way to look at it for my own peace of mind.

 

Can't help but feel disappointed naturally. The last time I went on a date was around March/April 2016 and I've had no success for the 2 years or more I've been on online dating websites.

 

The last girl I dated for a month or so was head over heels with me and would constantly tell me how attracted to me she was, made me feel like no one had ever done before, not even my ex. but in the end it turned out the same way as this one did with her eventually saying she felt no spark and saw me more like a friend.

 

This seems to be a recurring theme with the people I date seeing me more as a friend and not getting that romantic spark with me. I comfort myself upon my dating failures by constantly reminding myself I'm only 21 and still so very young. But with my avarage of 0-1 dates a year I sometimes wonder whether anything will happen later down the line at all.

[James516]

The fact that you think asking a out woman who several times says you are attractive is being an "alpha male", suggests you are far too passive in your outlook. Find confidence to get out of the safety zone aka friend zone. Next time you meet a woman you are intersted in, don't wait around for signs. Talk with her a bit, if you click, ask her out. That makes things simple - if she's interested, she'll say -yes. If not, there is no confusion, you can move on.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear this. Nothing you could have done. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there or it's just not a match. At least you took the initiative to meet in person rather than build anything up too much on social media before meeting .