Starbuckscup Posted January 23, 2017 Share Posted January 23, 2017 I can't believe I'm posting in here but I really need advice. I'm a 39 year old female.. been in a relationship with a 48 year old for the past 2 years. Problem is his ex fwb. When we first met he told me about a good friend whom he had gotten together with a couple of times but that was 20 years ago and there were/are still good friends. He told me he was uncomfortable with me being friends with the guy that I had been seeing before him since it was so fresh so I agreed to end the friendship..... anyways fast forward to a year and they were still texting a couple of times a month, talking on the phone sometimes and they go out for lunch when she's in town. Everything is platonic. Come to find out who this girl was (he never told me which friend it was) and she has been to his house for supper! But what I can't get past is that I found out they slept together 2 months before we started dating not 20 years beforehand!!!??? He stated he's not good with time. He ALSO stated he wasn't sure if they would get together or not if they were both ever single which of course he backtracked and said he didn't mean it in that way... So I was livid and I was mad for ruining my friendship with my previous friend that I had dated. Total double standard. He had continued meeting up with her for lunch and had lied to my face about it and last night she showed up at his house st 10 pm with 3 of her friends to say hi as they are all mutual friends...he didn't let them in but still. I'm 110% sure it's a platonic relationship. But I'm irked that he seems to be prioritizing this friendship above our relationship. He says I'm too jealous but how can I not be when he lies about meeting up for lunch and deleting texts they write because he knows I will be mad. Am I going crazy? What would you do in this situation? I don't want him to lose the friendship but on the other hand this is a humongous issue for me and it seems like he's putting her first because he's known her for 20 years. I'm mad. Super mad but I don't know 100% if I have a right to be mad st him or if this is my issue I need to deal with?!!?? Arrrrg!!!! Help! Any advice/logic/reason is welcome. Ps he is a total narcissist and always makes me feel crazy for being jealous but he has a lot of other really good qualities about him and I know cheating on me is not something he would do but 90% of his friends are women. Link to comment
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