1991 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Had a 4 year relationship with a girl I really do love but I done so much wrong to her in the past . I won't take all the blame but won't place a blame either . Her and I weren't living together for about a good 6 months when she found out about me and other girls . We talked about it got back together but recently she doesn't wanna be with me any more. We've been officially broken up for about 2 months now and idk what I should do. She says she hates me doesn't love me and wished I would get out of her life , but then well talk about our son in a different matter. She constanly brings up what I did randomly and make everything about me and other girls when that won't even be the subject . I really want to be with her but I don't want to play the role of the sucker either . I love her and my son with all of my heart . Any advice on how to or how I should go about getting her back would be appreciated guys. This has been on my mind 24/7 -.- Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Is she dating someone else? Link to comment
1991 Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 Is she dating someone else? Not that I know of but I'm almost sure based on some of the things she throws in arguments sometimes . The " one day a man will treat me like a queen " & how nobody wants to be with a girl with a baby . Unless of course she is tryna throw me off . Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Actions speak louder than words. Why don't you go to some long-term counseling and figure out why you cheat, and how to stop? After you've given a lot of your time into this pro-active activity, you can tell her what you've done and what you've learned and how your mindset has changed. Your child deserves stability instead of various men jumping in and out of his life. You be the man who makes sure this doesn't happen. It's up to you to make a daily effort to make a relationship work. It's up to you to keep healthy boundaries by not engaging with other women. To supplement your education, get some books from the library on how to be a good partner. Good luck. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 If you love her so much why did you cheat on her? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 You should have thought about that before you lied and cheated on her. Learn from this, and treat the next girl better. I would also learn about your lack of self control and character issues. You sound incredibly selfish. Be a better role model for your child!!!!!!!! Link to comment
1991 Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 when she found out about me And other girls we were apart for 6 months. Living separately to . After the whole situation and told her how much it hurt me to see her hurt like that we got back together. We were together for 2-3 months trying to get back into our own place when she had a sudden death in the family of somebody very close to her. Since that day she doesn't want anything to do with our relationship. Link to comment
1991 Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 Andrina you are absolutely right , I don't have a cheating problem . For the years we were together I wouldnt even look at girl because she was all I wanted , and that never changed. I just made the foolish decision of giving into my loneliness while we were apart. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Sorry to hear this. Why did you initially breakup/live apart? Set up child support and visitation/custody through the courts so there won't be any haggling regarding your son. Arrange to make the exchange in a neutral setting like a one of the grandparent's homes, a library, etc. Do not engage in relationship postmortem talks. Do not negotiate, argue etc. keep it about your son, period. Her and I weren't living together for about a good 6 months when she found out about me and other girls . She says she hates me doesn't love me and wished I would get out of her life , but then well talk about our son in a different matter. Link to comment
1991 Posted January 21, 2017 Author Share Posted January 21, 2017 Thanks , that's really all I've tried to do since all of this has gone on . I want her to know that Im there for her but still want her to have her space . It's just kind of a weird place when we were usually the ones we confided in when times were tough. We split because we were arguing a lot. She was accusing me of things I wasn't doing a lot which I wasn't doing. We wouldn't fight in front of our son tho. 6 months after us being apart is when she found out about me and another girl . What's weird is that after that we reconciled and got back together . Which is really what has my head every where . And she drops him off to me every other day even overnight . I support her the best I could rn with money every week and neccesities for him pampers whiles food etc. whatever he needs. I'm just hoping that being the best father/man I can be will make her think other wise and we can grow from this . Because I know she still loves me . Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Does either of your jobs supply counseling sessions for couples? You two could benefit from that. If you can't afford, get some books like Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Read the book aloud, little by little together, and practice what it teaches you. The Five Love Languages is another great book. Tell her you love each other, but neither of you have the skills to fix things without expert advice. Your child needs to see what a healthy relationship looks like or he might repeat the negative behavior as an adult that he is seeing between you two now. Children absorb much more than you think. Link to comment
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