RoseTXx Posted January 19, 2017 Share Posted January 19, 2017 Our first dry spell lasted an entire month. It was the second month we were together. I had gotten my period and he didn't want to be intimate then. I understood and didn't push the subject, but even after my period stopped, he still wasn't trying to be intimate with me. He had a very aloof attitude towards sex, like if he didn't need/want it at all. Like if it was just as simple as saying "no" to being offered a glass of water. I would try to initiate sex but he would never take it all the way. He would always just kiss me a few times then get up and act busy or just seem not sexually aroused at all, even if I reached into his pants, he would just make a joke out of it and keep watching TV. About a week after our month long dry spell, we had planned a getaway at this super fancy hotel in Austin. I had told him over and over that I wanted to be intimate with him, and that I especially wanted to have sex while we were on our first trip together. We get to the hotel late at night, he drinks a few too many beers and passes out cold while I'm in the shower. No sex at all. The next morning when we both got up, I tried making out with him and he started taking his pants off and initiated oral sex, but as soon as it went from oral sex to me wanting to have intercourse, he completely stopped it and said, "we have to get going, checkout time is soon", even though we had an entire hour before checkout time I was FURIOUS. I got up, told him he could carry all of our stuff downstairs, and waited for him in the car outside. I didn't say one word to him for the rest of the day. I just could not understand how two healthy people who are attracted to each other weren't having sex. I couldn't understand why he didn't want me. About a week after the trip, he had gotten in trouble with the law and ended up spending two months in jail for a petty crime that he committed before we got together. While he was in jail, we spoke all the time and he would write me letters, telling me how sorry he was that he wasn't as intimate with me as he could have been. He constantly said that he wanted to have sex all of the time when he got out and that he was just in a weird place before but that he realized how stupid he was being and wanted to change. I believed him and decided to stay committed to him. As soon as he got home, things did change. We were having sex twice a day everyday and it was great. But it only lasted for four days. The fifth day, I noticed he just wasn't as touchy feely as he had been. I knew instantly that we were coming up on another dry spell, and I was right. Five whole days went by with no sex, then I got my period. So it's been two weeks now with no intimacy whatsoever. We cuddle and he kisses me, but nothing beyond that. I don't know what else to do. I always try to initiate sex but if he's not in the mood (99% of the time), then we just won't. It's exhausting. I want it ALL of the time. I could literally have sex 3 times a day, easily. Before this relationship, I was masturbating every single day, sometimes twice a day. Now I don't have any sexual pleasure at all and it's really starting to depress me and make me bitter. I will be in random bad moods all of the time because I'm so sexually frustrated and I know there's no point in even trying with him or arguing with him about it. Even right now, we're laying in bed, he's playing a game on his cell phone while I'm typing this. I want to crawl on top of him so bad. I'm ready to go right now, but I can't do anything and it feels horrible. I don't want to leave him, because believe it or not, he's exactly what I've been looking for for a long time. Besides the no sex thing, he's a total prince charming. The kind of guy who won't let me open doors or even pump my own gas when we're in my car. He treats me so well and is great with my family. Everybody loves him, he's the first guy to jump up if anybody needs anything and he is very supportive of me in every other aspect of my life. I feel like I'd be making a big mistake if I were to leave him just because he's not as interested in sex as I am. At the same time, however, the no intimacy thing is really starting to wear on me. I keep telling him that I need more from him, and I have even told him that if I'm on my period, we don't have to have sex but I still want to pleasure him. I just don't know what else I could say/do. He just doesn't care about sex the way I do. I feel trapped. Link to comment
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