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How do I get her back?


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+Two weeks ago I met this amazing girl through a mutual friend. Since she lives a couple hours away, we have been texting nonstop. We have a lot in common and both said that we like each other. However, I screwed up.


Since we had been talking so much we started asking deeper questions. I asked how many people she has slept with. I asked this because I don't sleep around and its important for me to date someone who has the same values. Anyways she answered honestly and so did I and we were both cool about it. A few days later we were talking and she said that she doesn't like cops and I said "It's the handcuffs huh". She freaked out and now thinks I am just after her body. I was just trying to make a joke and I seriously didn't mean to offend her. She said I made multiple jokes like that but I don't remember do so. Anyways I apologized profusely and she finally acknowledged that I meant no harm and legitimately was sorry.


We were supposed to go to a movie together with friends but she asked if she could bail.. only to later say that she wanted to end it and blocked me on Facebook. I panicked.... I have never met such an amazing girl. I know that she has been hurt by her ex and so she pushes people away if she feels they are using her. So again I panicked and texted her, tried to call her, texted our friend... I was even on my way down to apologize which she told me to turn around.


She apologized the next morning and felt really bad about it. So I forgave her. As we started talking again she said she wanted to go to church with me sometime, only to later say that she is done. The next morning she texted me telling me to delete her number.



I want to make this right! I know what I said was stupid and way too soon. I don't date hardly ever so I don't pick up on signals well. She never told me it bothered her until it was too late. I just want a chance to show her that I am an incredible guy who really does care for her. I don't want to sleep with her, I just want to really get to know her and spend some time with her.


Is there any way I can fix this? A friend told me that I should just lay low for like a month and then try again. So I was thinking about bringing her flowers her favorite chocolate and wine, plus a card. I really want to make this right... I know it's only been two weeks, but I just have a feeling about her.


Any advice would be much appreciated.

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Please be aware that unwanted visits, gifts etc is considered stalking and very creepy.


Even creepier than lewd innuendos that made her run in the first place... Upping the creepiness won't win her back.


Replied in your identical thread:


Examples of stalking include:


Following or spying on you

Sending you unwanted emails or letters

Calling you often

Showing up at your house, school, or work

Leaving you unwanted gifts


You can be stalked by a stranger, but most stalkers are people you know, like a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend. Sometimes, a current partner will stalk you by calling very often, texting constantly, or asking where you are all the time. These may be signs of an abusive relationship.


Stalking is a crime and can be dangerous. To learn more about the laws against stalking, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime helpline.

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Then take your friends' advice and back the heck off...like way off.

Any more chasing and contact from you will just come across as insane and totally creepy stalker land and you definitely don't want to push into that territory because there is no coming back from that.


If a guy I've met once and never even gone out with started pursuing and pushing that hard, I'd actually be scared of him and not only block him, but get a restraining order. She isn't just pushing you away, your behavior is over the top inappropriate and she is correct to back you off. You can't bully your way into a date let alone a relationship.

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Do not bring her gifts.


My guess is that this isn't really about the joke. Either there's something else she doesn't like about you or she's got another crush, and she used this joke as an opportunity to make her exit. The joke wasn't that horrendous, OP, which is what leads me to believe she actually has a different reason for cutting you off.


Take your friend's advice and lay low. She has made it abundantly clear she doesn't want you to try to fix this. Leave her be.

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