485HPLady Posted January 18, 2017 Share Posted January 18, 2017 Good Morning Everyone- First off, Im new here, so thanks for taking your time to help me, by reading. I really do appreciate it. Its something I can't discuss with anyone else in my life. I hope that you will not judge me, that is not what Im asking for, I just need un-biased, educated insight from other human beings. lol. I don't know what to do in my love life right now. Im 38. My ex-husband contacted me via email a few months ago. I told him I was happy and content with my impending marriage. He said he understood, and he wanted me to be happy. Then he emailed again a few weeks later, telling me that he had worked on himself the 3+ years we had been apart & had done nothing but think about me the entire time. He didn't date, or even have 1 hook up. We did have an amazing love- like none that either of us had ever experienced before. He just needed to grow up way much more then I could handle. To be honest, there hasn't been a day that has passed that I don't think about him, but I don't know what that means. I love my fiance. I admire his strength. like me. That is what drew me to him. He was handling his business on his own, and doing a good job. He didn't need me, he wanted me.... that is huge for me. However, he has a super nasty side. I realize nothing is perfect (God knows Im not), but I find myself wondering if I can deal with the negativity for the rest of my life... Is this just normal jitters, or is it a true red flag? He has been down right mean to just about (if not) everyone in my family. But at the same time, very generous. Its so confusing. Oh, and the kicker, he is a big time alcoholic. Talking to him about it? Forget it.... Ive tried. Everything ends up being my fault. I could be trying to do something for him, and he will snap at me- then I will tell him I don't appreciate it, and somehow it was my fault- even though I was doing something for him, that I didn't need to take the time to do in the first place. So, you'd think that was the end of my mess.... no. I had to go and add another layer. This is why I'm starting to wonder if Im secretly trying to ruin my own relationships. I love cars. I recently met a younger guy that owns a car related business and we started chatting about my car... he started flirting... more and more. Now he is telling me how horrible my situation is, and that I need to leave. Im just so confused. I don't know what to do. It much deeper then feelings. I worry about everybody. My fiance has nobody. He tells me everyday, I saved him, he couldn't live without me.... etc... on top of that- he's in my pockets... deep. We have a house together, but only my name is on it. He has a work vehicle, but only my name is on the loan... as well as his luxury vehicle... you guessed it! only my name. Some people might think thats great, not me. He makes the payments on the vehicles (now) but what would happen if we didn't work? Im not the type that would take it from him. He paid, its his. But I also wouldn't want my name attached to it. OMG... Thats what I get for being so nice. PS.. my ex wants to pay my fiance off. (as in give him money, to pay the loans, so it would solve those problems). Don't worry, we haven't cheated (physically). But I still don't know what I should do. Maybe I should just run away- from everybody! Link to comment
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