Old friends: Is this familiar to anyone?

[FrozenMoon]

Hey guys,

I was just wondering if anyone else knows this feeling..

 

In the past, about 6 years ago, I met two friends in an online game. We got along really well, talked every moment of every day.. Half a year later we had each other on Skype. Even later, on Facebook. Despite them living in completely different parts of the world, we began sending each other birthday cards and Christmas presents, even planned on meeting up in the summer. They really meant a lot to me and I considered them to be two of my best friends.

 

.. Sadly though, after two years of contact, we lost touch somehow. I don't know how it happened, but by now it's 4 years further down the road and I haven't spoken with them since. Their online accounts are no longer active anywhere, so I can't contact them even if I wanted to. All I MIGHT still have somewhere are their postcard adresses.. but even that isn't certain. I always did miss them a little, but since last week, it's been BAD.

 

It started with a dream in which we actually had that summer meeting we had been planning back in the day. I was so happy in that dream being with these two again -- but when I woke up, and realised that these two friends in my dream are now mere memories, and nothing more.. it suddenly broke my heart. I was THIS close to crying, and truth be told, I still am. All I've been thinking of the past days is if there is any, any at all, possibility to speak with them again -- even if only for five more minutes. Everything feels so incredibly empty and lonely even if I do have other friends currently. I've been searching my old laptop for the aforementioned addresses too, but.. i don't know if I should randomly send them a letter out of nowhere, even if I do find it.

 

I just.. don't understand how something that has been this way for 4 years suddenly gets to me now. I've been feeling VERY down for a week now just because I miss them so much. All out of nowhere, all because of a dream. I don't get why it was 'okay' for all this time only to randomly become sad and heartbreaking. I feel like my only goal right now is just to see them again.. one day.

 

.. I wonder, is a feeling like this familiar to anyone? Is it normal to suddenly have these changes? Does anybody have personal experiences suddenly missing old friends like this, and.. did you ever get back in contact with them?

 

I just kind of.. want to understand.

I've missed old friends in the past, but not to the point it suddenly controlled my mood 24/7. This is the worst I've ever had it..

[DancingFool]

I've found that whenever I find myself missing old friends or old life, it's because I am unhappy and unsatisfied with my current life on some level. Trying to dredge up the past isn't the solution though, because you can never really go back. Things change, people change, there is a reason you all lost contact over the years. What I find more productive is rolling up my sleeves and taking care of what is missing in my life today. Sometimes what's missing isn't obvious either. Takes some internal digging around and honesty with myself about what and why.

[Hollyj]

I agree with Dancing.

 

OP, do you have a social life outside the gaming? Do you get out and interact with friends?

[Wiseman2]

Find and send them a friend request on social media. That's what it's good for.

[FrozenMoon]

I agree with Dancing.

 

OP, do you have a social life outside the gaming? Do you get out and interact with friends?

 

I actually do, that's what makes it so confusing. I'm at university currently where I have a few groups of friends, I tend to go to a lot of social events / conventions, play boardgames in the weekend with other friends back home.. And I'm really grateful for the contacts that I DO have -- but even that hasn't helped since the day I began missing these two.

 

I've found that whenever I find myself missing old friends or old life, it's because I am unhappy and unsatisfied with my current life on some level. Trying to dredge up the past isn't the solution though, because you can never really go back. Things change, people change, there is a reason you all lost contact over the years. What I find more productive is rolling up my sleeves and taking care of what is missing in my life today. Sometimes what's missing isn't obvious either. Takes some internal digging around and honesty with myself about what and why.

 

Hmm.. Well, you do have a good point. It has to be something. If I compare my current situation with then, the only major differences are that 1) I live away from home now, and 2) I have more friends in real life, but 3) fewer over the Internet. I don't know if perhaps the last one might be a cause..? Logical thinking tells me that the real life friends should cover this up, but.. I don't know. I felt perfectly fine until that dream came up, and since then I've been feeling lonely even WITH the friends I have. Maybe I should try to see if the cause lies anywhere else altogether..

 

Find and send them a friend request on social media. That's what it's good for.

One of them has all their social media accounts deactivated (I honestly have no idea where she is..), and the other.. well, there's one more platform I think I might be able to find him on (with some luck). If I do find him, I'd love to connect again, but..

Would it be weird for me to suddenly pop up again after all these years of silence? Or should I perhaps just explain that I miss them?

[Wiseman2]

No not weird at all. Find them and send a friendly 'how have you been?' message/request. No need to go into missing you etc. Just catch up.

Would it be weird for me to suddenly pop up again after all these years of silence?

[DancingFool]

It might not be so much about quantity of friends you have in real life but rather quality. That something, connection, common interests, something like that is missing and needs to be found, whether with existing friends or by seeking out new, additional friends. Something about your current friendships is lacking is my guess.