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My Boyfriend Doesn't Find Me Sexually Attractive


nyabrown3130

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My boyfriend and I have been together a year come February. I don't know if this is relevant, but he's actually the first person that I have been sexually active with period. He's had 4. We were friends before we became a couple, so that's why I'm so comfortable with him and vice versa. I'm 20. He's 21....Sooo...we were in bed together (just lounging around nothing intimate happening) when he pretty much just comes right out and tells me that I have no sex appeal, and that I'm cute. Now, I have not problem being called cute at all, but I asked why he wasn't attracted to me in that way and he proceeds to basically tells me that I just don't have anything that sticks out physically. Then, he goes down the line of his past partners or people that he's been interested in and told me what he liked about them (which normally I wouldn't have a problem with because we tend to be open like that). He told me that he has to really think about being turned on by me whereas with other people it just happened.

He told me that it's not about how I look, and that he loves me regardless....which I believe, but really who wants for there significant other to not find them attractive sexually. It's really just kind of starting to get to me, and I don't know how to change it...and what it made me realize is, is that we only have sex when he wants to because he really isn't attracted to me enough to be in the mood when I want to or to get himself in the mood... and I really am not sure how this is go to affect our physical relationship now that this has been brought to my attention...up until now I never suspected any of this so it was never a problem

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This is not at all normal or okay. This seems like the beginning of an emotionally & psychologically abusive relationship. I don't understand how you could care about someone & say something like this. This is exactly how someone tries to strip someone's self esteem.

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