Heartache

[Jovahutc]

My heart hurts. It's not normal that after seven months my heart still aches. Whenever I look into my daughters eyes I see her mother, the person I am still in love with. I am haunted by the feelings of failure and what could have been. Wishing more than anything that I could have held this family together for you baby girl; it breaks my heart; it just breaks me down to nothing. I don't understand why I am still in love with her; she rejected me most ojf the five years we were together and she still rejects me. What did I love? Why do I still love her? I would do anything not to feel anything at all; I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing. It's harder because I need to stay away - but how can I do that when we coparent - it's like my heart breaks every-time I see her all over again. Why are some people allowed to be so damn happy when I'm miserable and heartbroken ? It's not fair... but I've judged that maybe I'm just not meant to be.

[empath]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Having a daughter together – one who resembles her mother – must make it all the more painful.

 

I don't know what's 'normal' – I know that I certainly miss people after 7 months, sometimes much longer. If it's not fading at all, though, that's excruciating. I assume you're seeing her regularly because of your child?

 

While we miss people because of who they are and why they left us, we also miss them because of something in us. It's not a magic bullet, but have you tried to uncover what it is in you that makes this so difficult? (Though, again, I think many people would struggle if it were a family that has now split.)

[kbbcoop77]

If she rejected you for close to 5 years and you still miss her you may need a counselor or therapist to help you see that you deserve much better. Have you tried dating? Sometimes it can be a great confidence boost just to interact and laugh with someone else of the opposite sex..I know it was too early for me to date when my ex wife left after about 8 months but I did a little anyways and it helped.