lilymay Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Me and a guy started as something casual. We had met only 3 times, but had sex twice. He only wanted sex and I was fine with it. I only wanted to meet once but he insisted on meeting again, saying that we had good chemistry so we should meet again, and probably it could grow to something, he said. I cancelled a couple of times but we still met for the second and third time. Our last time was like two weeks agao. After sex when we were lying on the bed, we were looking into each others' eyes. He said don't look into eyes, otherwise you will fall in love. Then he told me that he was looking for something long term, but not "puppy love". I didn't say anything.(Before I told him I was looking for long term relationship too After it he sent me home, and when we said goodbye, he asked me to kiss on his cheek and he kissed me back on my cheek. During this two weeks neither of us had talked to each other. So today I sent him a text telling him I missed him, but sadly he told me that he had to be honest, he has found someone else and had been out for dates for a few times now. I was kinda hurt. Was wondering why he was leading me on? why he kissed me like that when we said goodbye? It was unnecessary Link to comment
DrKitten Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm not sure why you're hung up on the cheek kiss. To me it's odd that he just wants sex, then he wants something long-term, then he ghosts on you and is with someone else. He's not worth the brain space, IMO. I think he was being selfish and had you on the backburner until someone else came along. Link to comment
lilymay Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I'm not sure why you're hung up on the cheek kiss. To me it's odd that he just wants sex, then he wants something long-term, then he ghosts on you and is with someone else. He's not worth the brain space, IMO. I think he was being selfish and had you on the backburner until someone else came along. Yeah he was very selfish. Before we met the first time we agreed to do just something casual, and I told him not to lead me on Before our last meeting I wanted to cancel on it because I felt he didn't really wanna see me, and I asked him not to contact me again. He called me and I didn't answer, then he texted me saying that if we really connected that well, maybe it could grow to something more. So we met again and he started to confused me with the long term relationship thing. I assume he already started to see that girl he worked with when he was seeing me, and maybe later things got more serious he turned me down when I sent him a message. Like you said, he isn't worth my brain space, I will just forget about him Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Not odd to me at all. He wanted sex. You gave it to him pretty easily. He wanted sex again, so he wanted to see you again. He told you not to fall in love. AND, he told you that he was looking for long-term ... with someone else. Cheek kissing meant nothing. I'm not sure why you were interpreting that as anything other than a polite or friendly bye. I'm not sure why you'd expect a relationship (or at least hope for one) from a guy who has shown no real interest whatsoever. Link to comment
DrKitten Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Yeah he was very selfish. Before we met the first time we agreed to do just something casual, and I told him not to lead me on Before our last meeting I wanted to cancel on it because I felt he didn't really wanna see me, and I asked him not to contact me again. He called me and I didn't answer, then he texted me saying that if we really connected that well, maybe it could grow to something more. So we met again and he started to confused me with the long term relationship thing. I assume he already started to see that girl he worked with when he was seeing me, and maybe later things got more serious he turned me down when I sent him a message. Like you said, he isn't worth my brain space, I will just forget about him Yep. He wanted to keep you around in case things didn't work with her. I'm sorry. It sucks that happens. Better to move on and find someone worth your time and feelings. Link to comment
lilymay Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Not odd to me at all. He wanted sex. You gave it to him pretty easily. He wanted sex again, so he wanted to see you again. He told you not to fall in love. AND, he told you that he was looking for long-term ... with someone else. Cheek kissing meant nothing. I'm not sure why you were interpreting that as anything other than a polite or friendly bye. I'm not sure why you'd expect a relationship (or at least hope for one) from a guy who has shown no real interest whatsoever. Before our last meeting, I wanted to cancel it, then he said maybe it would lead to something more if we kept seeing each other, as we agreed we had good connection. Ok I know he was just saying that for sex one more time For the cheek kiss maybe it was a bit different. When I was leaving his car, he asked me to kiss on his cheek, then we I was about to leave he kissed me back on my cheek. it was not like a friendly kiss. Ok I was overthinking it Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Yes, you are overthinking to cheek thing. But, yes I can see how the "maybe it could lead to something" is leading you on. Link to comment
lilymay Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 Yep. He wanted to keep you around in case things didn't work with her. I'm sorry. It sucks that happens. Better to move on and find someone worth your time and feelings. That's a sure thing. When he said he has found someone else, I told him I was going to delete his number and goodbye I wont look back. it is just not worth it. Plenty of fish in the sea Link to comment
SherrySher Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 I know not everyone will agree with me, but if you want a relationship and have a man take you seriously, you need to let him get to know you and to have some kind of romance not have sex with him right away. If you do that, then he only see's you for sex and won't take you seriously, which is what happened. You did not give him time to fall in love or get to know you for anything serious. You just got into bed with him and he used you and then found another woman that he actually does want to get to know. Sex does not equal love nor does it equal any kind of connection or caring, it's only a body function. Lesson learnt here is, date someone, be romantic, become good friends, learn about one another and save the sex till much later if you want to be taken seriously for a relationship. Don't let this man continue to use you. Link to comment
lilymay Posted January 17, 2017 Author Share Posted January 17, 2017 I know not everyone will agree with me, but if you want a relationship and have a man take you seriously, you need to let him get to know you and to have some kind of romance not have sex with him right away. If you do that, then he only see's you for sex and won't take you seriously, which is what happened. You did not give him time to fall in love or get to know you for anything serious. You just got into bed with him and he used you and then found another woman that he actually does want to get to know. Sex does not equal love nor does it equal any kind of connection or caring, it's only a body function. Lesson learnt here is, date someone, be romantic, become good friends, learn about one another and save the sex till much later if you want to be taken seriously for a relationship. Don't let this man continue to use you. Thanks for your input, very useful. If I want to have a relationship with a man next time, I will do what you recommended. For this guy, I think he already knew that girl when we first hooked up. We only knew each other for like a month. I don't mind having fun with a guy when I am single. I told this guy about not leading me on if was just sex, but he still mislead me for more sex Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Sorry to hear this but he was crystal clear that it was no strings and so were you. If you want dating/relationships then aim for that.Then he told me that he was looking for something long term, but not "puppy love". I didn't say anything. I sent him a text telling him I missed him, but sadly he told me that he had to be honest, he has found someone else and had been out for dates for a few times now. Was wondering why he was leading me on? Link to comment
lilymay Posted January 18, 2017 Author Share Posted January 18, 2017 Sorry to hear this but he was crystal clear that it was no strings and so were you. If you want dating/relationships then aim for that. I agree. Lesson learnt. We both didn't want anything at the beginning. If he didn't want anything I was OK with that, but not too sure why he said these to confuse me. When I said I didn't wanna see him again, he would say that we had good chemistry, so it may grow more, etc. He would even call me o new year's eve. I guess he just wanted to string me along. It had been just one month, so I'm not too attached Link to comment
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