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Break up- Need advice


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Well, I have never posted on a blog before, but I need help because right now I do not what to do with this situation. I sincerely hope that anyone can take the time to read this and be give me any time of advice. Context; My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago . This is not the first time she brakes up with me , she at least has broken up with me 8 or more times. I'm a deeply passionate man , who believes that love is about trying and not giving up. I have been with her over 1 and Half. We were a couple that always had minor fights; however , she had a major porblem inside her. She always brought past mistakes of me , when we were solving our problems. 3 weeks ago with had a fight which we did not fix it right away. To begin with, I gave her flowers because it was Christmas , but she forgot at our friend's house. I was kind of mad , but I decide to not make a a huge problem out of it. Then , I saw her squeeze out pimples from my friend's arm. I won't deny it , but I got mad because I'm a man who respects her partner and I try not to even touch other girls or friends Because i believe it is unnecessary. After that I told her , I'm mad , we talk later. However , I believe if you get mad , the girl gets even madder. After an hour , I told her can we talk , and she has a behavior which I hate and that is ignoring me. She turns her head and does not even look at you. I'm 17 years old and to be sincere, I quite immature; therefore, I like a little kid trying to fix things , following her and trying to get her attention no matter what. Then, we began to have a fight and we usually say nasty things. Later on that night , I apologized to her and we were trying to fix things over chat. 3 days later, we were talking and out of nothing , we began to fight because she told me that her feminist friend told her that she should not tolerate my action of grabbing her arm or touching her to get attention. Like I said above, I'm immature and I do it in the most innocent way those actions , but she told me that I do not respect her and she deserves better . Basically , she sent a huge message saying that I was and that I do not love her and all of that type of things. It is very common that she gets so mad and just says things like never message me again. So basically I tried to change her mind and told are you sure? But she said it was her decision , I only agreed with her. 3 days later , she sent me another message that she si happy with her decision and that she wants to be happy alone. That she always tried to change me in a way , she saw my improvement over the other times she broke up with me , but that she does not want improvement, she wants a major change . I did not reply . Since we are at the same school and grade , it is inevitable to not see each Other. Basically , I do not know if she is truly happy or what , but at school she is even more flirtatious and does not even look sad . She is the type of girl

Which is not socially networking active , but now she uploads photos of her . She is always changing her status and photo of WhatsApp. So I was reading and decided to follow the no contact rule. I've been working out internally and externally in myself , but somehow at the end of the day I do not feel happy. Yesterday , I broke up with the no contact rule because I was not thinking straight due to some alcohol . I told her can we talk and end the relationship like grown up people. She was drunk and told me that she does not love me and that she never really cared about me. Then, her friends came and told me that she does not want to talk and they took her away. I do not know what to do, I do not know if this time the break up is definitive or like the past times where she tells me nasty things and somehow we talk calmly and we make up. What are your opinion on my situation, what should I do?

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