Just home from weekend with my ex .....

[Tillielou2]

Life is a little confusing. We are LD. Around 400KM apart. I drove to his on Friday, arrived at lunchtime and we spent the rest of Friday and all day yesterday together. If anyone looked in it would of been assumed that we were a couple. We are out, we had drinks. We laughed. We had a great weekend. He told me he still thinks the world of me. He cares more than he's letting on. He asked if I was back down there soon and he'd see me then.

BUT, I messaged him to thank him again for having me, he replied with 'no prob. Anytime. Nice to see you. It's always easy xx' then I thanked him for his honesty in telling me how he felt last night, and he's read it and not replied.

 

His still active on match and Tinder.

 

I hoped we could have a chat when I got back home. I don't know what's going off anymore.

[beternal]

This is the problem with instant messaging platforms... you can see when someone has read something and then you freak out that they haven't replied.

 

So what is it?

 

-He read it and ignored you (no interest)

-He read it and just got busy

-Someone else read it

 

Really, you have no way of knowing so I wouldn't stress until at least 24 hours

 

It doesn't look good that he's still active on the dating apps but in all honesty, can you blame someone with LD? I'm not saying this is true for everyone but it puts a strain on the relationship. Those that have started out close by and then had to go LD have a better chance of surviving because they have a strong foundation but those that start LD are very very difficult and people have *needs*.

 

How often do you see each other? How did it start and what duration has it been?

 

He could just not be that 'romantic' in txts, he could be busy... or (hopefully this one isn't true), you might be just a weekend entertainment. Have you discussed exclusivity with him?

 

I'm not trying to worry you, I just tend to think about all the possible reasons for things (in case you haven't)...

[reinventmyself]

It's only confusing if you allow it to be.

 

He refer to him as your ex. So that part's clear correct? He's your ex.

He's a free agent who can participate on dating sites.

 

If you stayed the night one can assume you had sex?

Are you ok with having sex with out a discussion prior to what it means in regards to your relationship with him?

If it's important to you then it's not something you should take for granted.

 

If you don't ask and go ahead based on assumptions `that you looked like a couple to others"

then it's possible he interprets it as a casual encounter.

 

It's only confusing if you choose to not have a discussion with someone before you take your clothes off with.

 

Why did you break up to begin with and who broke up with who?

[HeartGoesOn]

If anyone looked in it would of been assumed that we were a couple. We are out, we had drinks. We laughed. We had a great weekend. He told me he still thinks the world of me. He cares more than he's letting on. He asked if I was back down there soon and he'd see me then.

 

With this being an encounter that didn't require any effort on his end, I'm sure he didn't argue the point. He's not going to refuse your offer of driving a distance to (I assume) sleep with him, among other things. You're banking on his words, which mean nothing without actions to back them up.

 

The bottom line is if he truly cared, he's jump at the chance of getting back together, rather than risk losing you.

[shessofly]

You drove 400 km to see an ex with no prior discussion of what that weekend visit meant? Waited until you got all the way back home to hopefully bring it up? A little backwards I think. Your last thread says he is adamant he can't do the distance. Have you figured out a solution to that? This doesn't have to be so confusing for you. If he is unwilling to work on reconnecting long distance you have your answer. At that point you tell him thanks for the honest answer and that you would like to take a period of no contact so you can get over him. Then you stop responding to his messages and/or block him so you can get over him.