What should I do? My heads going crazy :(

[Swindonuk86]

Hi everyone new poster here

 

I've been with my oh for 5 years in October and married 3 years in April. They cheated on their last partner but said they would never do it to me.

 

Last night I received a message on Facebook with 2 videos and a picture showing my oh kissing 2 separate people. They told me the 2nd one was not kissing just dancing Secy but the first person kissed to get a guy away from her and snogging someone was only way to do this.

 

I would never even so much as kiss or look at another person.

 

I don't know what to do she's denying the second time and an excuse for the 1st am i wrong to be angry and hurt? What should my next step be. Everyone I have been with has cheated on me and now wondering if that's all I deserve

[beternal]

I think with many people the phrase *once a cheater, always a cheater*applies. It might be her, it might not be but I don't blame you for feeling awkward.

 

My suggestion... talk to her. It's so simple but if you love her and want things to continue, have a no-holds-barred conversation where you just be completely honest. Ask her directly:

 

-Why she did these things

-Does she plan on doing it again

-...and most importantly, is she happy with you!

 

I've been there... and I'm going to put it on both of you. It's easy for you to say you've suffered, been cheated on, the whole world is ending etc... and you're right to feel that way... but there is always a reason why the other person does it. Ask yourself (and her!) whether she is happy. Are you providing the life she wants? Is the conversation, romance, consideration, sex, etc enough for her? Maybe she just hasn't grown out of the good feeling you get knowing that people still fancy you stage of life...

 

But on the other hand... it could be her fault. Maybe she is just that sort. Maybe she is the *you only live once, never miss an opportunity* sort of person. Maybe you hurt her and this is her revenge. Maybe she just hasn't been honest with you about her feelings...

 

You have got to work out what you want, find out what she wants and communicate! - This is the only way you can find a get through this.