mustlovedogs Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Hey everyone! I'm posting mostly because I'm feeling a bit discouraged as of late and, as lame as it is, I'm hoping for some words of encouragement. Brief background: ex dumped me a little over a year ago on our two year anniversary. What a peach, right? I had been laid off, couldn't find a job, and now I'm back in grad school. (I don't think being laid off contributed to being dumped - I had anticipated it and had plenty of savings to be more than fine). On the one hand, things are going great. I feel more confident, I've made good friends, I've had time to foster my hobbies, and my degree is awesome. However, on the other hand, I haven't had much luck with the job search (I graduate in May). I understand the last two months have been a sort of dead season for recruiting, but I'm not even getting calls back and it's making me feel a bit insecure. I have many contacts in my industry - including executives - and they all say my resume and experience is fantastic so I'll be fine with getting a job. That's reassuring, but I haven't seen results. Of course, my timing may be bad so this may turn around in the next few weeks. Additionally, one of my mutual friends with my ex liked a picture of them together. They were out celebrating their 1 year anniversary. My emotions tied to him are thankfully somewhat limited anymore, but it made me feel down for a number of reasons. He met her pretty quickly after we broke up (2-2.5 months.). In fact, we were still talking when they met. Also, they obviously did something for their anniversary. For our first, he didn't want to do anything and it turned in to a huge fight. Not to mention I haven't so much as kissed anyone since the breakup. I took about 6 months off of dating so I've been dating with varying levels of activity since about June and I haven't yet made it to date 2. I just haven't felt that connection or curiosity that I'm looking for. I do get dates, not as many as my skinnier friends (I'm plus sized) but I get them. So I'm obviously not horrifically unattractive. About 1/3 of my dates want a second date when I'm not feeling it, I want a second with maybe another 1/3 and they aren't interested, and then the remaining 1/3 are mutually uninterested. So this also tells me that I have some good, dateable qualities. I understand that the odds of being attracted to someone are somewhat slim so it's reasonable to expect it's even slimmer for mutual attraction. But I'm stuck. He moved on right after me and found love. I'm still in this life limbo. I'm really, truly, genuinely happy. And I think I'm funny, interesting, smart, adventurous, caring... So why am I stuck in this limbo (both with my career and my love life?) Has anyone else felt this way? How long did it take to feel like things were working out again? Thanks for the help ENA Link to comment
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