Tinder is making me hate women

[jimmyh]

Cats are easier to please/figure out.

Okay, but why can't you take it personally?

 

One, if you like cats, definitely get one. When you make small talk with women, you can discuss your cat.

 

Two, you can definitely take it personally, but I can't see why. The women who won't date you, or outright troll you, don't know you. They might read your rant here and get the wrong impression, or they might see your picture and not like something completely random, like your eye color or your nose. It doesn't mean you're ugly. In fact, you are not alone. I look a bit like Kim Il Sung, so I never had any success on dating sites. The women I messaged often replied with "... by the way, nice pictures" and that was it. No date.

 

When I did get dates, I asked the women out directly, being as clear and unambiguous as possible (not sure if everyone likes that style). Also, do you approach women in places like stores, or bars or even on the street? If you are polite and direct, they will talk to you.

[RayF]

All good questions...

 

The thing is this... I've always been told a lot that I'm a good looking guy, so I wondered in my 20s if that's the case why the hell am I not raking in the ladies?

 

My best friend looks like a supermodel, and I can't really compete with that. There is a thing when you are SO good looking almost anyone will go for you. THat's a fact.

 

But it's also a fact that for the guys who are above average, have a lot of qualities going for them, success, passions, are interesting, well kept etc. You stand a good chance.

 

You may not be a ladies man and have hundreds of girls, but a you get older you become more comfortable for fewer girls and girls that you really liked you are OK with it.

 

Not every girl will like you. Some will think you are too short, or too this or too that...

 

Physicality is generally a lot different in guys than girls... most guys like the same kind of look for a woman, but a lot of guys have different kinds of looks that women find attractive, some like super tall built guys and some find that a bit much and like more feminine looking slender guys etc.

 

Generally speaking women are attracted to how they FEEL more than what they see. They want to feel lead, protected, feminine. To protect them you don't need to be 6 for 5 and built like a monster... you just need to be secure, cool and confident and in control of your life.

 

The more women you interact with, the more yo have a take it or leave it outlook the more comfortable you get with rejection the easier it will be.

 

Because you only need preferably ONE woman who mutually is crazy about you.

 

You will grow into your own skin better but i I could tell the younger version of myself one thing it would be this.

 

STAY IN THE GAME... meaning don't let your confidence slip. To do this you need to be friends with, interact and date a lot of girls. Many below your "standard".

 

This does not mean settling for them, it means enjoying the interactions for what they are... you don't have to marry any of them and I like to think of it as an open mind, maybe one will knock your socks off.

 

The last girl I dated, a few years ago I probably would have nitpicked a lot of things about her looks. I was attracted to her, when I fell in love with her nothing on this planet was more beautiful. She ended up ripping my heart out but that's another story.