Ok this is super log but I need help:(

[jasminemarie7]

So I've been on this once before my ex boyfriend of 8.5 years broke up with me and I was feeling horrible barley could get out of bed. Well I felt better and knew I really didn't love him he just picked me apart so long I felt that's all I thought I could have. So I was do great and then T walks into the vet clinic I worked at. He and I had a great conversation then he left I was surprised he didn't ask for my number ,but two weeks later (end of oct)he came back in saying he needed Brody's nails trimmed and also if he can have my number we went out that night for wings and beer. He and i texted through the weekend I came over to his house that Sunday and we slept together(I know too soon he was absolutely amazing in every aspect so of course being in a horrible 8 year relationship I pushed him away acted like I didn't care until one day I thought I really like him I need to open up to him. That Sunday I didn't hear from him cause we usually text all day...that Monday I still didn't hear from him and we had a plan to go on a date so he can "swoon me" I finally said hey what's going on he let me know he took another girl out and that he doesn't know what he wanted to do cause all he wanted was me and now he doesn't know I told him to take some time to think and let me know. He texted me a nerve racking two days later and said I was right about wanting to take things slow and he missed me. That Saturday I came over and things were a little weird for a second since not seeing each other for a bit, but as soon as we saw each other we just couldn't keep our hands off each other (I said we had to wait for later didn't want to mess my hair up he took me on theworlds most perfect date. Weather was perfect and crisp, we looked amazing just great food and drinks walking La Jolla. We even went to this jazz bar and they had a guy playing piano and everyone was dancing and he played the way you look tonight and I asked him to dance rest of the night went perfect. Next day he went with his buddies to watch football I saw him later that night when I got there I got a horrible case of food poisoning and he took care of me all night despite being hammered. He was perfect he gave me his mre crackers(he was a marine) and just held me all night letting me know that he took all the tinder girls off his phone and how he was talking about me all night to his friends and how he was worried he was my rebound(he wasn't I had one prior to him). I saw him again the next day I worked around the corner and again that night for dinner and another sleepover. As the week went he was talking to me a little less. Now I'm not the one who was asking to hang out all the time or anything he was. That next Friday we saw each other and made dinner and drank too much wine. He told me a while ago he had commitment issues and he brought it up again that night I said oh but I mean we are dating non chalantly. His eyes bug out and said we are seeing each other and that we are still seeing where things are going but he is keeping the door open still. I go in defense mode and then the conversation ended I don't remember I was drunk. I talked to him a bit the next day and saw him Sunday. He was weird not lovey normal self...then he kept trying to test me which was clear as glass. I saw I like something and he say oh your not gonna like where I got those I say where he say my ex...then told me he was going to a hustler club I said ok...he was like your mad I said no not at all(and I wasn't to either) he was doing it on purpose and I knew. Then he came to my work and had lunch with me the next day...after that he completely ignored me thanksgiving week and sent me a really ty dr john text. Now since then we talked. I spent the night once then he texted me for a "quickie". I have been trying to get over him and it hasn't been easy...did I mention I fell in love with him? I did he doesn't know. The worst part is Christmas Eve he text me I didn't have plans since my family celebrated early and he is from philly so his family is back east. He invited to spend Christmas with him and his dog(we also both don't care for Christmas) it was perfect we ate lots of food drank way to much and watched Christmas story which we both do like about Christmas. The next day I thought I was gonna just go home but he wanted me to stay eat, drink and then we had a plan to go to that jazz bar again...they were closed so we went to this other nice restaurant and sat at the bar. We had a great time. He did say before we were gonna go to the jazz bar let's eat that salad we got last time(we didn't eat there) I called him out saying that must have been his tinder girls. We went back home and danced and laughed then we started kissing ,but the weird part we were just kissing no sexual anything. After a long time of kissing and face holding we both got up and said what was that, he said that was the most euphoric thing he has ever felt. I didn't think I could feel anymore for this guy but I did. I can't explain the kiss it was so deep, he said to me what are you thinking we were both just didn't know what to say. Then he asked what I was thinking I said you first and he said "I have things in my head that are not, not acceptable to say" I thought is he saying he loves me? I'm pretty cynical so that was big for me to think that. He looked at me in the kitchen and said I want more of this with you but I can't make any promises I don't want todo that again to you. I told him I don't expect anything from him(again defense)I spent the next night again with him this was now Monday. We didn't talk about the night before...we just ate watched t.v and drank wine. He was going to New Orleans for New Years so he was getti ready for that. The next morning he had work and I was going home(btw I lost my job they found out about him and I, even though nothing came out of it)he wanted to get bagels at our bagel place and then I didn't think I hear from him again he has a tendency of saying one thing and doing another. I did though he text me later that night saying even though he doesn't like Christmas he had a great Christmas and weekend. He sent me a pic of him in his hotel room in NO and then a happy New Years. I haven't seen him since our weekend...he texted me I left my case for my glasses at his house last Saturday and last Friday let me know about his interview he had. He sent me a kiss face on Saturday when he said he had my glasses. I've been not pulling away but he tends to do it all the time I just didn't want to be so lovey back and him pull away again. I haven't talked to him since Saturday and I think he is talking or seeing someone. I am in love with a guy who doesn't love me back and doesn't know. I need something any sort of advice, thoughts? I asked him

Friday to celebrate his great job interview which I never do he said maybe we never did but talked a little throughput the night. I dunno how to explain it. I thought I found the one and I never thought that with my ex. I am sad but a deep weird sad, I can't explain it all I know is that it hurts a lot in a deep way.

[Shegottaberigh]

If he's not ready to commit, he's not ready to love. And what's worse is he knows you're up to that, that you seem to be okay with the fact he's not sure of what he wants or feels. If you show you're not okay with that, perhaps he will motivated to make up his mind.

[jasminemarie7]

First thank you for reading that I know it was long I appreciate it second how would I show him it's not ok what would I do?

[Wiseman2]

it sounds like you hit it off but he warned you that he's not into exclusive dating. Having some flings after getting out of a ltr is ok and normal. Just don't catch feelings with casual dating.

we went out that night for wings and beer. He and i texted through the weekend I came over to his house that Sunday and we slept together. I finally said hey what's going on he let me know he took another girl out. He told me a while ago he had commitment issues. I spent the night once then he texted me for a "quickie".

[IAmFCA]

Sometimes the sadness isnt about the other person. Its about that the journey will be longer than we hoped.

[Sportster2005]

More people will read if you use white space. Just trying to be helpful, I can't read that.

[jasminemarie7]

Since I last replied he started randomly sending me pictures mostly of him and his dog(which he has done before)I told him to give Brody a big kiss for me on the nose and he said "will do. Now I need mine😔" So I sent him a kiss face. I haven't heard from him since Thursday night. He made a story on Snapchat with another girl. So he knew I would see which I really try never to look at his cause it will show I saw it. He is definitely talking to someone, either the girl in the snap or someone else.

 

I feel like it's a possibility he only did that to keep me at arms length? He says one thing and does the opposite and he wanted us to be together from the start then changes his mind. I feel used.

[Victoria102]

I agree with what Shegottaberigh said. You have to tell him that you aren't afraid of commitment & that you're okay with finding a relationship (nothing to be ashamed of - even if he tries to make you feel like it is). Tell him that you aren't okay with his commitment issues because it makes everything feel hopeless & that if he wants anymore of your time he needs to work on his willingness to commit (express to him that you know he can't commit suddenly, but exclusiveness is a GREAT start).

You need to evaluate if you can handle the heartache of him disappointing you. If you don't think you can you should probably remove him from snapchat, unfollow him on Facebook, & whatever else so he isn't constantly "in your face". Everyone deserves to be loved fully!

[jasminemarie7]

Thank you, I don't think it will matter anymore. He seems to take a liking to someone else because he is no longer talking to me and that's the only reason I can think of. He would tell me all these amazing things and do the opposite 😔