I hate social media!

[Muscle]

I was recently in a relationship with a girl I was crazy about and she continually said she felt the same about me....turns out she didn't - she was looking for other men on dating sites and instagram/facebook etc. whilst declaring love and ended up dating someone she met on social media behind my back...we split up (she didn't apologise or show any remorse and there was no explanation) and her new boyfriend (the same guy) is posting lots of photos of them together on instagram. I blocked his account so I didn't have to see that crap and unfriended her on facebook. Curiosity (or self-punishment!) got the better of me and I looked up her facebook profile and found it was deactivated, as was her instagram and twitter accounts. Thought it was weird as she was so active on them but really none of my business so ignored it, mutual friends had mentioned the same. Then I noticed she popped up again (reactivating account) about once a week on facebook, then it would be gone again within hours. In the end even seeing her face popping up started to annoy me and make me keep thinking about her so I waited for the next time this happened and blocked her. I didn't want to look petty, or look like I was doing it out of spite, but thought she won't notice anyway and it'd help me not to see it. But since then my friend mentioned she has stayed on facebook and not deactivated her account at all. I thought she was probably done with facebook and only logging on once a week to check for messages etc., but now seeing as the second I blocked her she's not deactivated since, I'm starting to think she was previously avoiding me and then noticed I'd blocked her? Or its a big coincidence if not! But she could have just blocked me - It's not like I tried to contact her after the split or hassled her at all, or that she was bothered about seeing me on there now she's loved up, or felt guilty.

 

This is why I hate social media - wondering about stuff that really doesn't matter. Trying to ignore it all and move on, but it's more difficult than I expected.

[rich46]

Yeah, all nonsense.

 

I usually detox from social media completely for the initial month or so, then rejoin with the ex completely blocked, in addition to any mutual hangers on.

 

I actually find it easy to avoid checking an ex's profile as I know the potential pain it can bring, with no potential for reward whatsoever. No brainer.

[greta96]

Social media isn't making you wonder about stuff that doesn't matter, you are the one who is bringing the pain upon yourself by constantly checking to see whether her profiles are up or down. Once the breakup occurred, you should have just blocked her and whatever mutual friends you had and never looked at her pages again. It's not like by blocking her you would have killed your chances of getting back together, if she is to ever get back with you she will do so with or without you two being "friends" on Facebook.

You need to exercise some self restraint and willpower to resist looking. And knowing what kind of pain such actions usually get you, it shouldn't be all that difficult.

Stay away from her social media, and you'll feel better before you know it.

[JDo]

I "luckily" deleted my facebook about 2/3 years ago. So did my ex, we never asked each other to, we just both did. And now we've broken up, I'm glad its not playing a part in it all. I know she has an Instagram and for the first couple of weeks, I kept finding it online and trying to see what she'd been up to. But she isn't very active with it, so no new news really. But every time I'd scroll through and see old holiday photos and weddings we'd been to. And it just got my upset every time. I've restrained myself from it for the last couple of week and hopefully I can stay at it. I'd say unless you really need facebook, I'd deactivate it yourself for a couple of months. Trust me, you wont miss it. And then see how you feel in a couple of month. It will help, your true friends will stay in contact. Just an idea, but its your choice in the end. Hope you're doing ok.

[Wiseman2]

How long were you dating? Were you dating exclusively? Agree the best thing you can do is go no contact and block and delete her and all her people from all social media and messaging.

I was recently in a relationship with a girl - she was looking for other men on dating sites and ended up dating someone she met on social media behind my back... and her new boyfriend the same guy is posting lots of photos of them together on instagram.

[Muscle]

Dating for just over a year. Well - depends who you ask on exclusive. Yes dating exclusively from my point of view and what she told me...but clearly not! I don't mind Facebook so much, especially now I have no way to see her profile at all. I've already removed any 'mutual' friends from my FB but have 'real-life' people I see who have mentioned things. It's just me who needs to stop obsessing! I don't want to get back with her - if she can treat me like that then he's welcome to her. But yeah it sucks!

[greta96]

I've already removed any 'mutual' friends from my FB but have 'real-life' people I see who have mentioned things.

 

You could try telling those people that you would prefer if they didn't mention her to you, as you are trying to move on and no longer have any interest in her life anyway. If they are decent people they will understand and will avoid bringing her up.