Husband wants divorce for sure

[Wovy]

Hi everybody

We have been married for 10 yrs since age of 18 both and got seperated 3 times before

And this last one is the 4 th breakup

First seperation he said he doesnt want me there was no kids back then

After 1.5 yrs no contact he called me saying he regrets his decision and wants me back because I loved him I said yes and got back together

Then very quick we had twins

By the way I was far away from my home country just because he lived on the other side of world I migrated there for him and the marriage

After having twins after 2 yrs

He started acting weird and was out most of the time he left me with babies at home and lived his life like single. Then 1 day after work he said he is not happy and wants way out

He packed his clothes and moved to his parents home

After 3 mnths of seperation one day His family told me that he has a girlfriend so all that weird behaviour was the result of other woman I asked him he confirmed and said he loves her so before he left us god knows how long this relationship went for

He cheated on me and I felt trapped desperate and devastated with 2 babies in my hand in a rental home no car or licence no money besides social security in a new country.

We were seperated like 8 mnths

Then one day he said he wants to come back home

I took him back

Fast forward 1.5 yrs later this time I caught he was texting a different woman first he denied it then wen I found girls number and learned her name from her voicemail he didnt deny and said yes Im seeing her and love her and wanted to move out again he did

After 9 mnths we got back together for the sake of kids but it was obvious that 2 nd relationship he was very happy and was fine with the divorce but families put effort and we tried again

This time we rented a different home he seemed fine and I was good to him I felt like he was maturing up or started loving me again 3 yrs fastforward

Wen I went overseas to visit my family I stayed there for 3 mnths he was texting me every day and calling every second day saying how much he loves us and miss us he feels not complete without me and twins

I believed him I msg him back everytime wen I went back to his country from overseas I thought he was gona hug me and give me all these kisses at airport he kissed once that was it. I felt he was cold to me but tried to think positive cuz he came straight from work that day and he should had been tired

Days passed We had sex couple of times but just normal sex I still didnt feel he missed me as he said

But didnt talk about it

Then 2 weeks later I saw msgs on his phone from a woman at his office like flirting with my husband kind of and saying that she finished work and stuff

I was devastated again I told him that I was gona call that woman and ask wats going on between them he said he would get divorce if I do that he got very angry and said dont make me embarrased dont call I didnt

Then 2 weeks later We had a big fight I started it and made it big without realizing then at the end I spat on his face

That was it next day he said he was leaving me again

Wat I did was packing up after him getting my twins leaving my home as it is and flying to my home country.

After I came here we contacted by msgs

And since day 1 he kept saying he doesnt want me and wants to get divorce definetely he said he wil file for divorce and he is done with me. What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

Get an attorney to work out child support and visitation. Stay with your parents.

getting my twins leaving my home as it is and flying to my home country. he doesnt want me and wants to get divorce definetely he said he wil file for divorce and he is done with me.

[Wovy]

Do you think he is in love with somebody else again why is he behaving like this again after 3 yrs

[Wiseman2]

Get a lawyer and stay with your parents. He cheated and had affairs the entire time. He may want to remarry this time, so needs the divorce over and done with.

 

Can he divorce you in absentia or get an Ex Parte Divorce in his country? Technically you abandoned him by leaving the country and you need to be careful that taking the kids with you is legal. Get a lawyer.

Do you think he is in love with somebody else again why is he behaving like this again after 3 yrs

[Tanzi]

Good grief, he has gone back and forth more times than a ping pong ball!!!!

 

What should you do?

Honestly? I'm surprised you even need to ask. Give him his damn divorce once and for all and move on with your life. Ten years, you've wasted on this man and you've got nowhere!! He gives you nothing but constant grief and heartache.

 

I don't mean to be harsh but you are this guys back-up plan. Each and every time something doesn't work out he asks to come back but he continues to look elsewhere. When he has found someone he moves out. When that breaks down, the cycle repeats itself.

 

Please, please, please don't use the kids as an excuse to take him back. Taking someone back for the "sake of the kids" is a very outdated view. It really is not in their best interest to see someone come and go like that .... or to witness the animosity that each break-up brings. It is not okay to teach them that being treated like this is acceptable .... so, if nothing else, think of your children before taking him back again .... which he will inevitably ask for when this new "fling" doesn't work out. The bottom line is, after all this, you would be a fool to take him back again.

[Tanzi]

Do you think he is in love with somebody else again why is he behaving like this again after 3 yrs

 

As I said before, judging by his repeated behaviour, I'm surprised you need to ask.

 

Regardless, of whether he is seeing someone else he comes and goes as and when he pleases and it is high time you stopped letting him walk all over you. He is a rubbish role model for your children .... but (as much as I don't like saying this) the fact that you let him come back to drop you all time and time again doesn't make you much of a one either.

[Wovy]

He doesnt wanna come back anyway he wants the divorce so do I

But Im still in pain I dont know how I will deal with this pain that he gave me

Divorce and the thought of my kids having step mom in the future

breaks my heart into pieces. I feel like a failure cuz marriage failed. Why I feel this way I don know

[Wovy]

Please reply anyone out there share with me wat you think I need this

[Tanzi]

It's natural to hurt.

 

But a failure ... no.

My marriage ended for the same reason. My ex-husband left me for someone else. I had 3 children.

I don't see myself as a failure. He was the failure.

I've been bringing my children up by myself for the best part of 9 years. Sure, they still have contact with their dad but he gets the good bits every other weekend. I do all the hard work as far as I'm concerned. My older two are grown up now and I am very, very proud of the lovely young women they've turned into. I don't see myself as a failure at all.

 

Just something to think about. You won't always feel this way. Better to face the pain now and move on from it once and for all rather than face it over and over and over again.

[Wiseman2]

That's why seeing an attorney to work out the divorce and custody and visitation and child support would make you feel better. At least you could take control of things and not just sit there hurting.

Divorce and the thought of my kids having step mom in the future breaks my heart into pieces.

[wilyone 11]

You deserve a wonderful relationship with a man who cherishes you. This man is not a good person. You feel bonded to him because that's what happens when you get married, but you and your kids deserve so much better and it will come to you. It's normal to feel scared of change and what the future will bring, but try to have faith in the universe. Nothing leaves your life unless something better is coming.