Ugh...my ex just texted me after 3 months of no contact.

[FictionLastsFo]

Before I go into my incredible story which will leave you all shocked and amazed, I will first say I've read a lot of story's on here. I know what no contact is used for and I know that a lot of us use it for the wrong reasons. I am only human so please for give me. Anyways I can't sleep, she's on my mind more then usual and I just wanna put my thoughts out here and see what you all think.

 

Our back story:

I met my ex in high school, she thought I was weird and I thought she was pretentious. I had long hair and was kinda chubby, she was the arguably the prettiest girl in school. For a long time she and I were not even friends, until one day on a school trip I thought her brother how toften play a song on guitar. Anyways after that we had a few classes and got along really well. After I graduated we talked a lot. 8 hours on the phone, always texting. She became my best friend. After about 6 months we started to hang out and kinda acted like we were dating. I took her to prom even though I was graduated. And after a few more months I told her I loved her, and soon after she said the same.

 

The current situation:

After being best friends for 2 years we began dating and everything was amazing. But 6 months into our relationship I noticed some things. Some of her family didn't like me and I didn't know why, I always did what ever I could for them and was always friendly. Soon after that my ex started to smoke weed with some people I used to know in a previous life, I quit all drugs a few months before we started dating. I didn't like it and like an idiot I told her she shouldn't do it. Well at first she said she wouldn't but we all know down the road she did. Well she started getting really depressed, I was always there for her, for anything but it didn't matter. She said since she started taking her pills she could only feel happy when she was drunk or high. Soon after this she dumped me, it was rough, made no sense, and it hurt like nothing else before. 3 weeks later she called me crying, black out drunk, and told me some things that made my blood boil. All that needs to be known here is I'd probably hurt these people if I ever came face to face with them. After all this she moved out of her mom's and into my mom's place with me. Our relationship slowly went back to normal. Fast forward to March of this year, she left me again because she started taking her depressants and started smoking and drinking. But every week she would come back saying she was sorry and that no one cared or loved her like me. Then in May it all stopped, she called me one day and said that shebsaw 2 old people in a gas station that reminded her of us, and she didnt want to grow old with anyone other then me. After that she was home. She didn't drink ever, barely smoked anymore and I felt at peace. But on the first of July she left, didn't bring anything with her and she dumped me again...I know I know, I'm a idiot. Over the next few months we'd see eachother and she'd tell me she didn't know what she wanted, she said she kept think about the life she could have partying, and she didn't love herself. In August I stopped talking to her for 2 weeks. I kept being the one begging for her to come back, pleading, it was pathetic haha. But I came here and kept reading all of your stories and they made me okay for the moment. But this is where things get messed up. I had a bad dream about her, and I woke up ato 6:03 one minute later she texted me saying she almost died in a car accident. Turns out she's been hanging out with someone I used to hang out with partying and he was drunk and high on pills and almost killed her. The next day I went to her and we spent a week together. She told me that the accident changed her and she wanted to stop doing dumb stuff. After our week together I dropped her off at her mom's. She hugged me, kissed me, told me she loved me, and I'd probably see her that night. She didn't reply to me for a week, then a month passed of me messaging her everyday. And one night I told her she was messing up letting go of me. That it's rare your best friend ends up being the person you can spend your life with. She said sorry for hurting me, for everything. This was the last thing I said to her " I just wanna wake up, with you in my arms. Kiss your forehead, tell you how beautiful you are. And continue to hold you, so you knew in your heart you'd never be alone. I'd never let anyone or anything hurt you. I wouldnt be able to live with myself if I ever put you through the pain I'm going through right now. I just want to be your home. I just miss being yours."

 

 

 

Its been 3 months since this and today she texted me asking if I was home, I replied a few minutes later with a simple yes. She asked me if she could come get the rest of her stuff, which made no sense to me because she took it all with her. The only thing she has at my place is a end table with some junk in it. I said she could and she said she might. I didn't respond.

 

Anyways I still love this girl, I know that there are only a few things it could mean. Either she's seeing if I'll even respond, misses me, or ya know just wants her sh*t back. But after everything I do still want her. I want her happiness and if me not being in her life gets her that, I get it. But I really do love her. Anyways I'm aware that moving on is good for me, just curious if any hopeless romantics see this lame excuse of contact is more then it really is.

 

If you have any questions feel free to ask, this is obviously a brief telling of our time together. This all started back in 2012 btw.

[Hollyj]

Are you looking forward to her dumping, and treating you like crap again? C'mon, when are you going to wake up! This relationship has been toxic from the start!

 

I suggest you get some counseling for co dependency, so that you can get off of the hamster wheel.

 

You need to learn to like yourself and expose yourself to better people! Put your doormat days behind you!

 

Lastly, friends do not ever treat you like this. I am "shocked and amazed" that you kept on returning for more abuse.

[FictionLastsFo]

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate your point of view. I don't associate myself with anyone mentioned in the post above and haven't for about half a decade, besides my ex obviously. I've been doing pretty good the last few months as well, I know that nothing has probably changed for her, and accept it. I'm just curious to see what people think her messaging me is about. I've drawn all the conclusions already, just curious.

[Hollyj]

Your thread is titled "Ugh...my ex just texted me after 3 months of no contact." "Its been 3 months since this and today she texted me asking if I was home"

Is it decades or three months? This does not make any sense!

 

I think we are getting played.

[FictionLastsFo]

Haha a lot of history in a few paragraphs usually doesn't give the best depiction. I apologize for that. I quit smoking 5 years ago, and stopped talking to a lot of people because of it, and the people she's found herself hanging around with are a few of the same people I used to be friends with till I got my life together....Well more together. We broke up 6 months ago, and I went full fledge no contact for the last 3 months. And she texted me for the first time today, breaking her silence and probably regrettably mine as well.

[Wiseman2]

Let her get her stuff, then go no contact and block and delete her from all social media and messaging. Try to sever things for good rather than wait in limbo. She doesn't want to get back together, if she did she's say so.

Its been 3 months. She asked me if she could come get the rest of her stuff, which made no sense to me because she took it all with her. The only thing she has at my place is a end table with some junk in it.

[bunzana]

You are her comfort blanket, her door mat and nothing more. She knows she can do or say anything and you will never leave. Stop putting yourself through this and block her for good. Find someone who appreciates you and does not abuse your love. But to answer your question in regards to the text she sent: she wants to know you are still there, pining over her, and making sure you have not forgotten her. She likes the security of knowing that you will always be there, if she happens to need you again. Try to see that she does not feel for you the way you feel for her. I know that realization might hurt, but it is the only way you will be able to move on.

[thekid55]

Before I go into my incredible story which will leave you all shocked and amazed, I will first say I've read a lot of story's on here. I know what no contact is used for and I know that a lot of us use it for the wrong reasons. I am only human so please for give me. Anyways I can't sleep, she's on my mind more then usual and I just wanna put my thoughts out here and see what you all think.

 

Our back story:

I met my ex in high school, she thought I was weird and I thought she was pretentious. I had long hair and was kinda chubby, she was the arguably the prettiest girl in school. For a long time she and I were not even friends, until one day on a school trip I thought her brother how toften play a song on guitar. Anyways after that we had a few classes and got along really well. After I graduated we talked a lot. 8 hours on the phone, always texting. She became my best friend. After about 6 months we started to hang out and kinda acted like we were dating. I took her to prom even though I was graduated. And after a few more months I told her I loved her, and soon after she said the same.

 

The current situation:

After being best friends for 2 years we began dating and everything was amazing. But 6 months into our relationship I noticed some things. Some of her family didn't like me and I didn't know why, I always did what ever I could for them and was always friendly. Soon after that my ex started to smoke weed with some people I used to know in a previous life, I quit all drugs a few months before we started dating. I didn't like it and like an idiot I told her she shouldn't do it. Well at first she said she wouldn't but we all know down the road she did. Well she started getting really depressed, I was always there for her, for anything but it didn't matter. She said since she started taking her pills she could only feel happy when she was drunk or high. Soon after this she dumped me, it was rough, made no sense, and it hurt like nothing else before. 3 weeks later she called me crying, black out drunk, and told me some things that made my blood boil. All that needs to be known here is I'd probably hurt these people if I ever came face to face with them. After all this she moved out of her mom's and into my mom's place with me. Our relationship slowly went back to normal. Fast forward to March of this year, she left me again because she started taking her depressants and started smoking and drinking. But every week she would come back saying she was sorry and that no one cared or loved her like me. Then in May it all stopped, she called me one day and said that shebsaw 2 old people in a gas station that reminded her of us, and she didnt want to grow old with anyone other then me. After that she was home. She didn't drink ever, barely smoked anymore and I felt at peace. But on the first of July she left, didn't bring anything with her and she dumped me again...I know I know, I'm a idiot. Over the next few months we'd see eachother and she'd tell me she didn't know what she wanted, she said she kept think about the life she could have partying, and she didn't love herself. In August I stopped talking to her for 2 weeks. I kept being the one begging for her to come back, pleading, it was pathetic haha. But I came here and kept reading all of your stories and they made me okay for the moment. But this is where things get messed up. I had a bad dream about her, and I woke up ato 6:03 one minute later she texted me saying she almost died in a car accident. Turns out she's been hanging out with someone I used to hang out with partying and he was drunk and high on pills and almost killed her. The next day I went to her and we spent a week together. She told me that the accident changed her and she wanted to stop doing dumb stuff. After our week together I dropped her off at her mom's. She hugged me, kissed me, told me she loved me, and I'd probably see her that night. She didn't reply to me for a week, then a month passed of me messaging her everyday. And one night I told her she was messing up letting go of me. That it's rare your best friend ends up being the person you can spend your life with. She said sorry for hurting me, for everything. This was the last thing I said to her " I just wanna wake up, with you in my arms. Kiss your forehead, tell you how beautiful you are. And continue to hold you, so you knew in your heart you'd never be alone. I'd never let anyone or anything hurt you. I wouldnt be able to live with myself if I ever put you through the pain I'm going through right now. I just want to be your home. I just miss being yours."

 

 

 

Its been 3 months since this and today she texted me asking if I was home, I replied a few minutes later with a simple yes. She asked me if she could come get the rest of her stuff, which made no sense to me because she took it all with her. The only thing she has at my place is a end table with some junk in it. I said she could and she said she might. I didn't respond.

 

Anyways I still love this girl, I know that there are only a few things it could mean. Either she's seeing if I'll even respond, misses me, or ya know just wants her sh*t back. But after everything I do still want her. I want her happiness and if me not being in her life gets her that, I get it. But I really do love her. Anyways I'm aware that moving on is good for me, just curious if any hopeless romantics see this lame excuse of contact is more then it really is.

 

If you have any questions feel free to ask, this is obviously a brief telling of our time together. This all started back in 2012 btw.

 

This same thing happened to me years ago. Break-up, messy first few months, went 'no-contact' and then the ex randomly texted me and wanted to come over. She waffled on the decisions but ultimately came over. I wasn't ready for that meeting, emotionally, and it turned into a huge fight.

 

Point is--decide if you're emotionally ready to see her or not. In the meantime, keep meeting new women. Life is short!