How to start eating again?

[aloneinBK]

It's been 2.5 months since my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. I haven't had an appetite since then, and when I do eat food tastes like nothing. I'm lucky if I force down 2 meals in a day; mostly it's just coffee and lunch. It's gotten to the point where people are commenting to me that I look very skinny (I was a relatively thin person before and I think I just look a lot smaller these days). When I do eat, it's only junk. I can't remember the last time I ate fresh veggies. I don't want to drink those Ensure supplements. But I'm concerned I'm going to get malnourished or worse.

 

Do you have any tips for making yourself eat, or something that helps you work up an appetite when you're in the midst of grief? I have tried exercising, but it's a vicious cycle of not enough food making exercising exhausting/potentially dangerous.

[ballerinababe]

I remember when I had a bad breakup and lost my appetite, I ate a lot of baby carrots. Just get a big bag of baby carrots and munch on them. Try to dunk them in peanut butter for added calories/protein. Nuts are also filling and high in healthy fatty acids. Could you snack on some mixed nuts, preferably walnuts/almonds/pecans? Greek yogurt too - Fage is a good brand with the side of fruit puree. Drink milk as well. I'm trying to think of foods that take no effort to prepare but are high in nutrients, and these would be my best bets.

[annie24]

Oh wow, I wish we could trade because I almost always have an appetite! I think ensure shakes or other nutritional shakes would be a good idea in your case. Make sure you are getting calories and nutrients. If you don't like Ensure, there are other brands out there. You could also try a smoothie or something along those lines.

 

I'd try to focus on cutting out the junk foods and having more real foods - whether that's some chicken breast, sandwiches, salads, fruits, whatever. Even at a fast food restaurant, you can make healthier choices than fries.

 

I don't know any specific techniques to increase your appetite but I think you should approach the thought process like you would for running a car or any other machine - you can't expect your car to run properly if you don't put in gasoline, so why can your body live on cheetos alone (or nothing at all?) Set a timer if you need to to remind yourself to have your food. If remembering to go to the store is an issue, try having some freezer meals around. I usually buy the lean cuisine ones and I like them.

[sourhearts]

Aw hun, first of all I'm sorry for your break up.

 

I'm no expert, obviously. And the only thing I can think of is baby steps. What's your all time favorite food? Say it's pizza! Invite a friend over and order a pie.

 

Do you have any close friends or relatives?? Maybe go out to dinner, talk about things, school, work, whatever it may be. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the company. Live to eat!!

 

Who care if it's junk food for the time being LOL especially if you're saying your as skinny as your are, you can probably get away with it. But please don't over do it.

 

Sometimes when I go a few days without eating much because of anxiety. I start off in the morning with a bagel and coffee, then for lunch a small sandwich. Next thing you know, my appetite has been awoken. And by dinner I could down a steak and cheese fries.

 

I know this sounds corny and cliche, but do .. TRY to do the breakfast, lunch and dinner. Don't skip meals. Get your body used to a normal HEALTHY eating schedule. Good luck take care of yourself

[x17c6]

You're going to find that you have serious health problems if you don't start looking after yourself. I understand how grief can kill your appetite. I am in the same boat, however you need to take care of your body. Your body is already under strain from your emotional turmoil and starving yourself won't help you feel any better. Start by eating small meals. Get up in the morning and have a small bowl of cereal, or one slice of toast. Have half of a sandwich at lunch, eat small portions throughout the day and start building your portion size back up again. Drink lots of water. You may find after a week of doing this, you will have more energy and start to feel better physically. Hope this helps!

[RainyCoast]

this happens to me every time. sorry, i actually did resort to ensure at some point and it sucks because they're brutal on the stomach so i took otc stuff for that...a blargh coctail (sorry, the irrational swear filter doesn't allow for proper spelling) nowhere close to healthy nutrition but i too started at a low weight and ended up a skeleton... so i couldn't afford losing any more weight. i hate ensure and fresubin with a passion, but it helped.

 

since you manage to eat lunch (even just junk), maybe try adding a very small snack as well. it'll be forced, just like the lunch...but hey. maybe make really thick hot chocolate? again, junk, but when starving, your biggest concern is macro.

 

do you get that spasm in your throat when you think you'll choke on food or is it just lack of appetite?

[Trinity11]

I havent been eating either. the only reason why i have is apres. I have had a solid diet of wedges, nachos and pizza pretty much. Slowly eating more...I had two pieces of chocolate for breakfast yesterday...I cant even remember where the rest is. Tonight i had a piece of toast and some crackers. Im one month in and starting to eat again...Coffee and juice have been for energy..

Shared food seems to help. If others are eating from the same plate i tend to eat.

[Iggy5129]

Maybe try drinking fresh juice? It's full of nutrients. Whenever I feel this way I drink fresh juices and eat a lot of soup.

[Limiya]

I once went through the same thing after a bad breakup.

The key is to graze throughout the day on small snacks but high in fat. At least, this is what the DR advised me when she saw how bad i was.

So although you're not forcing a big meal down you, you're just snacking. At least it'll all amount to something by the end of the day.

This really helped.

 

It'll get better soon, i promise.

 

All the best,

Limiya

[No1]

First... counseling would be a good first step for you.

Second... see if this works...schedule times for you to eat and stick with it. Eat even if you are not hungry. To start, you can plan small meals every 2 hrs. Doesnt have to be huge portions. small ones that you can do thru the day. Or if 2hrs is too much for you, then schedule meals for the week and stick with it. Breakfast at 8 then lunch at 1p then dinner at 6p.. cook your own meals for the week. Cooking can be very theraputic..re-discover the foods you like and maybe try new meals. doesnt have to be 5 course meals, something small that you can handle.

[katara42]

I have the same, aversion to food when I'm really upset. I'll only eat rice crackers and coffee. So here's my little coping strategy.

 

Keep a few "go to" foods around the house - others have suggested nuts or baby carrots / other fruit veg. I like things that are peanut butter compatible like apples celery and bananas. Make sure if you're only choking down a little food that it is as nutritionally dense as possible.

 

And whoever said cooking - I second that. I think preparing a nourishing meal for *yourself* is a huge act of self love. Aim for once a week - something full of veggies and flavour, and warmth. If you can't face cooking, then go out to eat. Get it take out if you must. But have at least one really intentional nutritious hot meal per week just because you love yourself. I know it sounds hokey but hey.

 

For me, once my body starts feeling those nutrients, I start craving more healthy foods and eventually I eat more normal again. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

[chitown9]

I had the experience of loosing my appetite when my husband died. Food just was tasteless. I think a visit to the doctor may do the trick for a prescription for something that will stimulate your appetite.

 

It is a good thing that you recognize this as a serious issue. This could lead to a downward cycle if not nipped in the bud. :star: chi

[RayF]

Me either. I live off coffee. my portions are suer small. Its come back a bit but to me it's the positive of this breakup. I still try and eat but i don't cave anything or are about anything in general so therefore can moderate what I eat and eat healthier things and less. I lost weight and feel better and look better.

 

So it's a break up positive for sure. As is buying new clothes, I look the best I did in a couple years I think

[mustlovedogs]

Don't beat yourself up over it. I dealt with the same thing and eventually ate bad food - like cheese and chocolate and French fries - just to get some calories. If you want something like a milkshake, go for it. Take a vitamin supplement with it just to get your nutrients. Your appetite will slowly start to come back. Worry about eating super healthy then. For now, worry about calories and supplement with vitamins. You'll be ok, I promise. You've made it through the worst 2.5 months. The hurting should slow down soon and in another two months you'll probably be a lot better.

[aloneinBK]

Thank you, everyone. I haven't been on the site in a few days, but here's what I've started to do:

 

--Immediately went out and bought some baby carrots. You're right, ballerinababe, they are really an easy solution and not so bad tasting. And like a lot of others have said, I'm trying to snack more often and focus less on big huge meals.

 

--Tried to eat more with friends. If I'm around them, I'm happier and will eat because it's what everyone's doing. When I'm alone, it's like, who cares? I had dinner with an old professor the other night and ate a lot because you kinda have to around her. She had a scale in the bathroom and I weighed myself. I've lost 15 pounds or so, which is not at all OK for my starting height/weight. It really made me realize what I was doing to myself.

 

--Actually, not eat favorite foods--because they taste like nothing. It's depressing when your favorite thing on earth (lox!) feels unpalatable. So I'm trying to eat other things

 

--Prepared foods are harder because I don't have a microwave. But I did just stock up on a bunch of pasta and am preparing some right now.

 

What's also helped is doing things I feel proud of. I just finished my first freelance article in a while and it made me feel good about myself--which made me forget about the rest of everything--which made me hungry. Gonna keep trying to put myself out there.

 

Thank you, everyone. I really do hope that the worst is over because this is seriously just the worst. I recently saw a video of my ex and it looked like he had lost weight, so it made me hope he's also been unable to eat because he's sad (obvs I'm working through some anger) but then also frustrated because he's always wanted to lose weight and I don't want him to get what he wants (yup, def anger).

 

You all are amazing, thank you for the support.