Benefits of your breakup

[sourhearts]

Every single one of us is here for a reason. Whether you've been broken up with your ex for 1 day or 5 years. It's hard. It is so so hard. Every day is a challenge. The only reason why I get out of bed in the mornings is because of work. Otherwise, if it were up to me, I'd want to sleep forever.

 

Sunday, today, I stayed in bed til 3. Realized I had a buttload of laundry to do. Got up, put the load in at my local laundromat. Walked over to a store and picked up a red bull. Did some vacuuming, now I'm cleaning the house. Might grab some hot cocoa with my girly later.

 

I walked past a mirror earlier while cleaning, looked at myself and thought. I look okay. I don't look broken. I look thinner, but the good kind of thinner (I should stay here otherwise I start looking sickly). That's when it hit me, remember life before my ex??

 

I was going to the gym 5x a week. I have to toot my own horn here, I was FIT. After dating him, we put on some happy pounds. And I didn't have time to goto the gym because I devoted my free time to us.

 

I saved SOOO much more money before him. Most of the time I would cover for us because it was always something with him. Rent, owed someone money, etc. He would cover too, but I'd say 70% was me

 

I don't have to live with the anxiety of, "OH God, is he going to drink too much tonight??" And then watch him get stupid drunk and sleep on the floor when his bed was RIGHT there.

 

I don't have to deal with him keeping me up late at night when I had to be up at 7am. Because he didn't give a flying !@#$. But if he had to be up early, oh lord. Don't talk to him past 11:30.

 

He was starting to smoke weed (I know to most that's not a big deal, but he got WEIRD), adderall pills too that he was getting from a coworker. This all started about 2 months ago. It was just all bizzare to me.

 

It was like he going backwards in life.

 

He would take my car keys and drive to the liquor store at midnight to pick up more booze on a weekday night.

 

I don't have to deal with finding more skype, whatsapp messages from sex online hookers.

 

I'm free of all that. If I'm sad, it's because I hate the monster he became. But like my mother said, that was always him. He was just hiding it all along. He couldn't contain it.

Believe the monster in him.

 

Looking at the bright side of things has helped a lot. The little things.

 

There's so many more things LOL I can go on and on, don't get me wrong. He did have some good qualities. Like he was an amazing cook. That I'll miss. But the bad was too much. In the end, his alcoholism, his lies, his horrible outlook on life destroyed us.

 

So I'm wondering for the broken-hearted out there, what are some things in life you can get back with your ex gone?

[offthegrid]

It's interesting to read your post. I can relate to your ex a little bit. I've had a problem with drinking and it affected our relationship. For a second I almost thought you were her. Are you a Libra by any chance? Lol. I never took car keys or got caught with hookers on whatsapp, though.

 

I guess, for me, the benefits of our breakup are that I can focus more on my career and my fitness. Like you, I got a little chubby while in a relationship. I used to be very fit and lean. And, career wise, while I should have been grinding and stacking up cash, I spent too many nights out to dinner and spending money out with her that could have waited for the weekend.

 

But, also, on a more personal level I feel I have learned a lot about myself through this relationship. I know what I need to work on, what kind of man I want to be, etc. I feel very clear-headed about certain things that I want right now.

[Jullie]

it's so good to see you NOT hurt like other girls I knew

I remember how hard for me to help my best friend get over her bad ex.

I've never fallen in love so I don't know how hurt is it after breaking up.. but if I had, I hope I would be strong like you

[sourhearts]

It's interesting to read your post. I can relate to your ex a little bit. I've had a problem with drinking and it affected our relationship. For a second I almost thought you were her. Are you a Libra by any chance? Lol. I never took car keys or got caught with hookers on whatsapp, though.

 

Lol! Wow, you're good. I'm not a Libra. I'm a Taurus, but my rising sign IS Libra. Rising sign, incase you didn't know, is your mask. What people see you as first. Your sun sign is your core. You can find all that if you Google, all you need is your d.o.b, and where you were born. It's an interesting read.

[sourhearts]

it's so good to see you NOT hurt like other girls I knew

I remember how hard for me to help my best friend get over her bad ex.

I've never fallen in love so I don't know how hurt is it after breaking up.. but if I had, I hope I would be strong like you

 

Thank you. I'd like to consider myself strong too. I have a theory. Fake it until you make it. Fake that confidence, fake that you're happy even when you're not. As long as you're not hurting anyone else and only helping yourself, fake it.

 

I keep carrying this, "F him, I don't need him." attitude. And it helps LOL a little crazy, but whatever helps.

 

We've been through A LOT. And I think most of the reason why idgaf as much .. is because he finally pushed me over the edge.

 

We once broke up October 2015 for a month. I cried every single damn day. I was a MESS. Probably just like your friend.

 

Got back together in November 2015 and everything has gone downhill since he slept with someone during ONE months break. What a weak man.

 

Now we've only been broken up since December 30th 2016. And the last time I teared up was yesterday on my way home from work and it was only because I was listening to November Rain by Guns n' Roses. And I intend to keep it that way.

[offthegrid]

Lol! Wow, you're good. I'm not a Libra. I'm a Taurus, but my rising sign IS Libra. Rising sign, incase you didn't know, is your mask. What people see you as first. Your sun sign is your core. You can find all that if you Google, all you need is your d.o.b, and where you were born. It's an interesting read.

 

Ha. Never knew about that concept. I just looked up my ascendant sign. Apparently it's Virgo, which means I have "excellent selective perception" and can recognize when something in my surroundings is getting out of balance. Good to know.

 

Also have recently blasted November Rain a bunch, coincidentally. Our breakup planets must be in sync.

[sourhearts]

Also have recently blasted November Rain a bunch, coincidentally. Our breakup planets must be in sync.

 

Omg! Same here! The lyrics, they hit home. Even the other night, I went out to the bar with one of my closest friends .. to tell her the truth about my ex. And a live version of November Rain came on and I freaked because I was just listening to it hrs earlier.

 

And the bartender, not because of my reaction, turned it up and was singing along.

 

Music is helping a whole lot. And he knows how much I love that song, so I hope he walks into a bar one day and boom. Because he'll think of me.

[offthegrid]

Omg! Same here! The lyrics, they hit home. Even the other night, I went out to the bar with one of my closest friends .. to tell her the truth about my ex. And a live version of November Rain came on and I freaked because I was just listening to it hrs earlier.

 

And the bartender, not because of my reaction, turned it up and was singing along.

 

Music is helping a whole lot. And he knows how much I love that song, so I hope he walks into a bar one day and boom. Because he'll think of me.

 

Lol. You don't happen to live in the NYC/NJ area do you?

[sourhearts]

Um, maybe. Do you know me?!?

[offthegrid]

Doubt it. Just curious how good I am at reading vibes.

[Wiseman2]

You may find this very interesting and germane don't have to live with the anxiety of, "OH God, is he going to drink too much tonight??" And then watch him get stupid drunk and sleep on the floor when his bed was RIGHT there.

[sourhearts]

You may find this very interesting and germane

 

Wow. This brought a tear to my eye. I checked off 13 out of 20.

 

It's just so sad. I don't know what it's going to take. He's only 30. He's in good physical health, for now. But mentally, I feel like it's starting to ruin him. I tried, so hard. He'll never change.

 

It's out of my hands now. I did what I could.

 

Thank you for that link.

[downright]

Yas gurl/guy.