He always pays for me when we hang out... does he like me?

[Sunflower122]

Hi everyone,

 

The title pretty much sums it all. I met a guy 3 months ago through a friend. Since then we have been hanging mostly 1:1 on a consistent basis and text almost every day. Sometimes I can sense he likes me more than a friend but because he hasn't made a move on me I could be wrong. One thing for sure is every time we are out he always pays for my meal and every time I try to pay or give him money back he always refuses. Is this his way of hinting he likes me? Or is he being a gentleman? I have guy friends who had paid for me but that's just once or if I know I'll get the next one, but this guy pays every single time? Are all these in fact dates disguised as hang outs?

 

Thanks all, I look forward to your responses

[focus4000]

Myself, I do exactly as you say. I'll pay for my friends if I'm in a good spot and they'll hit me back.

 

If I'm trying to court, I like to pay often.

 

Asking him couldn't hurt though Easiest way to find out.

 

First question to ask is if you like him, since if you ask but don't feel the same; that can open a can of worms

[Wiseman2]

Better signs of interest are initiating dates, communication and the quality of the interactions. Moves and money don't mean much. Do you know what you want? Friends? FWB? a relationship? Why haven'y you spoken up about what you want?

I met a guy 3 months ago. Sometimes I can sense he likes me more than a friend.

[Chloee1988]

I don't think that paying every time necessarily means he wants to date you. It could either be he's in a position to do so or is just very generous by nature. I have many guy friends who insist on paying every time we go out (either to a restaurant, movie, bar etc). My personal opinion is that when a guy is really interested in dating you, he'll ask you out on a date or make a move in that direction. Covering the tab really doesn't indicate much.

[Sportster2005]

Hi everyone,

 

The title pretty much sums it all. I met a guy 3 months ago through a friend. Since then we have been hanging mostly 1:1 on a consistent basis and text almost every day. Sometimes I can sense he likes me more than a friend but because he hasn't made a move on me I could be wrong. One thing for sure is every time we are out he always pays for my meal and every time I try to pay or give him money back he always refuses. Is this his way of hinting he likes me? Or is he being a gentleman? I have guy friends who had paid for me but that's just once or if I know I'll get the next one, but this guy pays every single time? Are all these in fact dates disguised as hang outs?

 

Thanks all, I look forward to your responses

 

It's ambiguous for sure. I don't know how many feel they need to pay for a meal just to be gentleman, outside of dating. I wouldn't consider that being a gentleman. More likely he likes you and is expressing it in a very passive way. Which might show a lack of confidence. He might be waiting for you to make a bit of a move.

 

The reality is no one knows. One or both of you have to make a move.

 

Worse case he is a doormat.

[katrina1980]

Hi everyone,

 

The title pretty much sums it all. I met a guy 3 months ago through a friend. Since then we have been hanging mostly 1:1 on a consistent basis and text almost every day. Sometimes I can sense he likes me more than a friend but because he hasn't made a move on me I could be wrong. One thing for sure is every time we are out he always pays for my meal and every time I try to pay or give him money back he always refuses. Is this his way of hinting he likes me? Or is he being a gentleman? I have guy friends who had paid for me but that's just once or if I know I'll get the next one, but this guy pays every single time? Are all these in fact dates disguised as hang outs?

 

Thanks all, I look forward to your responses

 

Well, other than he pays, what other signs does he give you that would indicate he is interested in more than friends? Like has he asked you out on a date?

 

And how, pray tell, do YOU feel about him, do YOU want to be more than friends?

 

If so, what signs have YOU shown HIM that would indicate you want more than friends?

 

Would you even want to date him, assuming he "was" interested in you?

 

So many times on this board, women ask "does he like me?" without even knowing for sure if SHE likes HIM!

 

That is why I am asking. Figure out how YOU feel and if you like him, start flirting or indicating YOUR interest! It's not that difficult.

 

You don't have to throw yourself at him or anything like that, be subtle about it. Flirt a little!

 

That said, there could be many reasons why he insists on paying, on its face that does not necessarily mean he "likes" you more than a friend.

 

One of my brothers who makes loads of money always pays for everyone, he rarely if ever allows anyone to pay for him, whether it's a friend, gf, family, co-worker anyone.

 

Like I said, figure out how YOU feel and if you want more than friends, again start being a little flirty and indicate your interest.

 

If he's into you, he will get the message and follow suit. Ask you for an actual date as opposed to "hang out" (as friends).

 

Or just kiss you one night (see my below post for more on that).

[katrina1980]

My first bf and I started as "friends." Just like you and this guy.

 

This went on for about a month. He did NOT always pay though, we were friends, we took turns or split it down the middle.

 

We spent a lot of time together, this went on for about a month.

 

Meanwhile, there was a strong attraction developing but neither one of us ever acted on it.

 

But it was kinda obvious to both of us, it was fun actually! Lots of flirting, lots of tension between us.

 

After about a month of this, one night we were out, had some drinks, both got a lil tipsy, and he just KISSED me!

 

Just like that, right on the lips, a very passionate kiss.

 

Wow!

 

From there we started an intense makeout session, expressed our attraction and dated for four years after that night.

 

Not sure if this helps, but thought I'd share it anyway.

 

Bottom line, NO he did not always pay for me (he was a struggling student at the time).... but yet was very into me and attracted to me. And vice versa.

 

So it could go either way.

[JaggerJim]

I would say he's very interested. He's a bit slow off the mark if he hasn't asked you out on a real date tho.

[katrina1980]

JMO as always but IF he really liked you, was romantically interested in you, attracted to you, then you would not be on here asking.

 

Even when guys are slow out of the gate (hasn't asked you out yet), there are signs, signals, a certain "tension" you would feel.

 

When a man is interested, you will just know. Feel it.

 

I could be wrong, just going by my own experience and experience of other women I know.

 

Like with the man I talked about in my earlier post.

 

We were just "friends".... but we both knew it was more. Too afraid at that time to act on it.

 

But there was a certain tension, a chemistry, we didn't have to ask anyone else to decipher it for us.

 

We both felt it, we both KNEW it.

 

You will too when it happens.

[IAmFCA]

He likes you. Men advance physically at a variety of paces. It is neither gentlemanly or otherwise, it simply is his preference.

 

If you enjoy his company, continue. If you don't, stop.

[BoggledMind82]

I've dated a long time acquaintance about a year ago. Very nice, upstanding, gainfully employed guy. He did the same thing. He'd want to pay or help out with things all the time. He was also kept about his personal situations and somewhat emotionally unavailable, although he'd always say otherwise. To keep a long story short, I found out he has an active sugar daddy page, and nothing was special about him paying. I even felt stupid for offering to pay with my own money while we were out at times after learning this information.

[Sunflower122]

Well, other than he pays, what other signs does he give you that would indicate he is interested in more than friends? Like has he asked you out on a date?

 

And how, pray tell, do YOU feel about him, do YOU want to be more than friends?

 

If so, what signs have YOU shown HIM that would indicate you want more than friends?

 

Would you even want to date him, assuming he "was" interested in you?

 

So many times on this board, women ask "does he like me?" without even knowing for sure if SHE likes HIM!

 

That is why I am asking. Figure out how YOU feel and if you like him, start flirting or indicating YOUR interest! It's not that difficult.

 

You don't have to throw yourself at him or anything like that, be subtle about it. Flirt a little!

 

That said, there could be many reasons why he insists on paying, on its face that does not necessarily mean he "likes" you more than a friend.

 

One of my brothers who makes loads of money always pays for everyone, he rarely if ever allows anyone to pay for him, whether it's a friend, gf, family, co-worker anyone.

 

Like I said, figure out how YOU feel and if you want more than friends, again start being a little flirty and indicate your interest.

 

If he's into you, he will get the message and follow suit. Ask you for an actual date as opposed to "hang out" (as friends).

 

Or just kiss you one night (see my below post for more on that).

 

 

There has been twice where I looked into his eyes when talking, the first time we maintained eye contact for about 3-4 seconds before I broke it off cos I felt a little awkward and the second time happened when we hung out 2 days ago we were talking about his car and our eyes met again this time i felt we held eye contact longer than 3-4 seconds and he was the one who broke it off this time and looked away nervously and when I asked him a question he completely lost the plot of the conversation and made an ass out of himself (which I think was pretty cute does this mean anything???

 

The thing is, he mentioned he is saving up for a new car due to issues with the current one, so he doesn't have a lot of spare cash lying around (which makes me feel bad because I am capable of paying for myself) and it's not necessary, I try to refuse it - but I can't win.

 

I like him and I would date him, I just want to get some indication on his level of interest from another point of view (and not just in my head) before I muster up the courage to let him know how I feel...

[Sunflower122]

My first bf and I started as "friends." Just like you and this guy.

 

This went on for about a month. He did NOT always pay though, we were friends, we took turns or split it down the middle.

 

We spent a lot of time together, this went on for about a month.

 

Meanwhile, there was a strong attraction developing but neither one of us ever acted on it.

 

But it was kinda obvious to both of us, it was fun actually! Lots of flirting, lots of tension between us.

 

After about a month of this, one night we were out, had some drinks, both got a lil tipsy, and he just KISSED me!

 

Just like that, right on the lips, a very passionate kiss.

 

Wow!

 

From there we started an intense makeout session, expressed our attraction and dated for four years after that night.

 

Not sure if this helps, but thought I'd share it anyway.

 

Bottom line, NO he did not always pay for me (he was a struggling student at the time).... but yet was very into me and attracted to me. And vice versa.

 

So it could go either way.

 

Aww cute

[Sunflower122]

JMO as always but IF he really liked you, was romantically interested in you, attracted to you, then you would not be on here asking.

 

Even when guys are slow out of the gate (hasn't asked you out yet), there are signs, signals, a certain "tension" you would feel.

 

When a man is interested, you will just know. Feel it.

 

I could be wrong, just going by my own experience and experience of other women I know.

 

Like with the man I talked about in my earlier post.

 

We were just "friends".... but we both knew it was more. Too afraid at that time to act on it.

 

But there was a certain tension, a chemistry, we didn't have to ask anyone else to decipher it for us.

 

We both felt it, we both KNEW it.

 

You will too when it happens.

 

I know what you mean!

I can feel it being more than a friend sometimes like you said the tension and chemistry...

But the fact that he hasn't acted on it yet makes me think otherwise...

[nnkle]

He's such a gentleman. Don't lose him . It's so hard to find a gentleman these days..

[Wiseman2]

Don't do this. Don't blurt out "I like you" etc. It's silly, creepy and awkward. Just be gracious, affectionate, receptive, etc.

before I muster up the courage to let him know how I feel...