Brutal story: Girlfriend cheated and manipulated.

[devastated89]

Hi everyone.

 

I was seeing a girl for 6 months, she showed me a very loving and caring fascade. She was really pretty, fun and exciting to be around. I slowly fell for her. As soon as we became exclusive, I started hearing all these rumors about her. We live in a small city so everyone knows everyone. It started off with me hearing that she was going to the clubs and grinding on other men, wildly flirting on other men. She swore it wasn't true and that there are just many people who hated her. After then it went downhill.

 

So many things came to surface, and in short.. she had been texting and sexting her ex and many other men, I had to physically go through her phone bill to find out who it was she was in contact with. Her and her friend live in a house together and there would be men around at all hours of the night, she claimed her friend slept with these people but in reality they both did.

 

On one occasion she got drunk and woke up next to a guy, people saw him leaving early morning from her house and she admitted that he slept over but woke up fully clothed so nothing happened. I demanded to know who he was and wouldn't leave until I did. She said she could message her friend to ask if her friend remembered who he was. So she sent her friend a message in polish (their origin) to ask who the man was. The friend sends a message back with a random name I didn't know. I actually managed to take a picture of her text and I went to another polish friend to ask her what the message read.. the message read 'make up any name of a man, I don't want my boyfriend to know who stayed last night'

 

I was furirous, I confronted her with this and she swore on her little nephews life it wasn't true! Even though I had evidence! I then call this guy up cause I happened to know him and ask if anything happened that night, and he said 'nothing happened THAT NIGHT but we've had sex on many other occasions. We've also been flirting for the past month'

Confronted her again, again she lies in my face.

 

She lied so much and manipulated me so much that I ended up on the floor sobbing. I'm an alpha male kind of guy and I have NEVER cried over anything like that, I've never been fooled like that. So the way she made me feel, disrespected was on another level.

 

I also find out she's been sleeping with 15+ men during our relationship and putting up very revealing pictures of herself on instagram (she knows I didn't have instagram) and she would put up videos of herself grinding on another guy, also videos of her looking in to the camera biting her lips and looking very seductive.

 

And the worst part? She slept with her ex all that time we were together. One day she slept with her ex, I went knocking on her door to ask her to join me for lunch and she told me to come back after an hour cause her friend had a man over. So I did and we slept together then went for lunch.. in the evening she went back to her house and slept with her ex AGAIN.

 

She would genuinely look me in the eyes and lie even tho I presented her with the evidence!!!!! And I had to BEG her for answers otherwise she would never give them to me! She made me block so many girls on facebook and even accused ME of cheating!!!!

 

After finding out all this I broke up with her and for the past week has she been BEGGING to take her back, she's been driving past my house, texting me constantly! She had a panic attack cause I mentioned my ex's name and I said my ex was better than her. She actually broke down on the ground and said she was gonna kill her self.

 

I feel so devastated, broken and humiliated. I've never been through this before. She's now saying she has realized what she done and she will never do it again and she never wants to lose me. She promised she would become a better person. What do I do? Can I believe her ?

 

I'm in such a fragile position right now

[itsallgrand]

I'm sorry you are going through this.

 

No, you can't believe her. She's full of it, and not a quality partner.

 

If it were me, as soon as she started driving by and saying she was going to hurt herself, I would have told her I'll call the cops/ ambulance for her.

 

Block her and if she harasses you, follow through by calling appropriate people to deal with her. Threatening self harm is one of the lowest manipulations there is.

 

Oh and, make sure to go get tested right away. Even if you used condoms. I'm wishing you the best.

[Almira23]

Dude... you are putting up with all of this trouble and drama for someone you have only dated for 6 months?

 

I am not sure why you are considering giving her a second chance when you claim she has slept with 15+ men. Don't be a doormat. Tell her to leave you alone, block her, and move on with your life.

 

You aren't acting very "alpha" male here pal.

[devastated89]

to correct myself, we dated for 6 months and were a couple for 3 months. At the start I didn't have any feelings for her, it was just dinners, small trips and fun company. She's an extremely attractive woman and it wasn't serious. She put on a good show for me cause she acted very caring and loving and thats when I started to really like her.

 

So now, I have huge feelings for her, but all our memories were fake because she isn't this loving and caring person who she initially showed me she was, but I can't help but to still have feelings. She is really trying hard now to get me back, but how can I go back? My heart is telling me that everyone deserves second chances but my head is telling me she seems to be some manipulative lying sociopath! I can't go back to her right? She will cheat again?

[Rising100]

So much drama, such a mess.

You have to walk away from this, I feel sorry for the next man who ends up with her. But YOU need to walk away from this, all the manipulation, the lying, the drama. Do it before things get worst, it can always get worst.

 

What her issues are? Who knows, you have already dealt with enough of this and its not your fault or your responsibility to fix her. Do you understand? Its not your responsibility to fix her.

[offthegrid]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. But it's important that you keep your dignity. You will miss the comfort of being in a relationship, and it will make you want to lower your standards and agree to things that you would never imagine yourself agreeing to just to keep that comfort. But in the long run, it is better for you to cut contact with her and maintain your self respect.

 

The trust has been utterly destroyed, anyway. You'll always be suspicious and never trust her. It isn't a good foundation for a relationship.

 

Again, I'm sure you're going through a lot of internal turmoil, but luckily it was a short relationship. You will be able to recover from this.

[ParisPaulette]

At not even a year this is just wayyyy too much drama. After the second time you caught her lying you should have gotten a clue - this girl gets off controlling people and manipulating them. THAT is what makes her happy, which is why she is now begging for a second chance. It's not that she loves you, it's that she has lost control of you.

 

Not to mention the whole STD threat or some guy somewhere listening to her lies (come on, she is lying about you to all of them) and maybe coming after you to do something bad.

 

I'm sorry, but what part of chronic liar and cheater in the period when she shouldn't even be able to see another man in front of her do you not understand? And yes, they are the ones who cry the loudest, plus threatening to kill herself? That's when you pick up the phone, dial 9-1-1, tell them she's threatening suicide and you let the professionals come get her and handle it.

 

That will either blow that little manipulation out of the water OR she'll really get the help she needs. But my guess is that's all theatrics and manipulators with a control streak are really good at theatrics and hysteria.

 

Don't you find it odd that in all this time it never occurred to her, "Gee, I love this guy so much maybe I shouldn't keep lying to him and cheating on him or I'll lose him." So now that you've finally had enough and gained some spine, only THEN is she suddenly realizing, "I will never do this again! I swear it!" Uh, why didn't she stop the first time she knew she was potentially going to lose you?

 

Simple answer, because it's not about you. It's about her ego and her ego demands, "You control everyone and make this guy and everyone else kiss your feet and put up with all of your shenanigans or you lose control of him. So cry harder and louder, he's a sucker, he'll fall for that."

 

In short, if you go back to her don't expect anything but what you've already had plenty of in under a year. Marry her? Have kids with her? Yeah, good luck with that. I personally think you're better off to go fight a war somewhere, less stress and at least people shooting at you are doing it to your face, they're far more honest.

 

People like this are a slow poison that can have devastating effects on your own well-being and mental health.

 

P.S. The only one who can fix her is her and that means therapy for a year minimum with absolutely no contact or relationships with men IF she were truly serious about handling her own ship. Love alone does not cure emotional problems. If that were the case there would be no drug addicts, no criminals, no abusers. If you were able to "love" her insanities (and they are because sane people don't act like she does, come on!) then you would be a multi-bazillionaire with the world at your feet to learn the secret. Nope, sorry. A person only changes when they actually DO, not say, but DO real actions to change. And it comes from within - not because of external pressure and definitely not because "I'm gonna." If I could ban that phrase from the world I would happily do so, because "I'm gonna" isn't worth a used tissue or the spit in one's mouth.

[Keeping Sane]

Sorry to hear you're going through this but giving this girl another chance is a big no go. I mean, imagine if you did? You would wonder where or who she's with every time. She already broke your trust and even if she was a "fun and exciting" girl to be around, imagine what the other men would say about her.

 

You need to cut all ties hun, it's whats best. Good luck.

[Wiseman2]

After 6 mos of dating you got to know her true colors. She sounds like a party girl and a hot mess. Step away from this drama, it will only be a headache and heartache.

[kamurj]

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