BoggledMind82 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Hello! I'm new to the 'forum' thing, but I decided to take my thoughts here. I'm not sure if it's normal for me to crush as hard as I've been on my regional manager. I'm an assistant manager, and has been with the company almost 9 years. He is top management, and has been with the same company even longer. He was recently relocated to our region from out of town, has no children, and no wife, I'm not sure if he has a girlfriend or not. I'm assuming not, because he moved pretty far from his original state. Although that doesn't mean he doesn't have a girlfriend, but our work hours are most demanding. I don't think he has a girlfriend basically. Lol! I also have no children, no husband, and no boyfriend, although I date from time to time and sure he does as well. It seems we both have the same work ethic and values about life, which is something I've assessed upon meeting and talking to him (professionally) while he was touring his new region. I'm guilty for lighty researching his social media, and feel even more guilty that this crush won't leave! His name is similar to mine, he's handsome, and I can definitely see us at least having one personal conversation, but the way our policy at the job makes this hard/impossible to do!!! We are also very close in age, he's slightly older. He is held to a higher ethical standard than myself. Therefore, I'd feel really lame if I were to send even the most innocent message (non work related). We don't work closely together, but he's still the boss of my bosses boss!!! Lol! I'm sure he doesn't know that is still be a great employee regardless of our 'knowing' one another, so he has to be cautious. I'm an empath, so I go about differently. I can be very private when I want to/need to be. Hence... My Sister thinks he may be same-sex oriented only because he seems to good to be true, while still single with no kids or ex-wives! Smh! I informed her that, I too am 1/2 way decent looking, childless, without baggage, and not same-sex oriented. She only rolls her eyes, so I'm not getting much input from her... Lol! My point is that I've never had a real crush in my life, and have been very particular about who interests me. I feel so hard that he & I could make a most powerful acquaintanceship even if we are not meant for a relationship. I thought this crush would end, but it hasn't. I don't know how to tell him, or if I should tell him. I'm kinda just waiting it out. However, I don't see any other pursuers the same way I see him. It's like no one else has a chance unless they are a prototype of him. There's not many out here like that...! Please help. I feel like I'm waiting on a perfect imaginary love that will never have a potential chance to flourish because of our work situation. Had this problem since August... Lol! Link to comment
Rising100 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 I didnt even bother to read your whole post because this is a person you work with, thats it, nothing more. You are there to work, not to find a boyfriend or girlfriend or soulmate, nothing, its just business. My opinion, get over it. Its just work. Link to comment
gebaird Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 This is a complicated situation! In my view, there are too many things that could go wrong to make it worth the risk -- despite your strong feelings for him. There are stories on this site of people who gave in to feelings similar to the ones you describe, and for some it has gone very badly -- resulting in getting fired, or at the very least being in a VERY awkward situation at work. Instead of pursuing this, I'd use him as a model of the positive attributes you are looking for in a romantic partner. Sure, you may not find someone exactly like him, but you can look for a person who has many of his best qualities. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 It's not a good idea to date people at work. Enjoy your crush and musings and imagination with your sibling, but stay professional. He wouldn't risk his job for a coworker. Perhaps get on some dating apps with your very specific checklist that you fantasize he has. Search for, message and meet men outside of work. A workplace is not a dating site or a singles bar and people go to work to get work done and make a living, not get hit on.crush as hard as I've been on my regional manager. I'm an assistant manager.He is top management, and has been with the same company even longer. My Sister thinks he may be same-sex oriented I feel like I'm waiting on a perfect imaginary love that will never have a potential chance to flourish because of our work situation. Link to comment
mgsportsfan252 Posted January 9, 2017 Share Posted January 9, 2017 Don't date your coworker or even try and ask him out. I just got out of a relationship with a coworker and it is awkward (we don't work in the same department but we see each other in the halls or company functions). She ended it four months ago and I can tell she feels uncomfortable during our encounters. I feel bad but nothing we can do about it. At work, focus on your work and it is okay to have a work crush. But that's all it is, nothing more. I always said I wouldn't date a coworker, then I thought I was leaving the job and met a girl I really liked. But then my other job opportunity went away and now here I am. Single and working at the same place as one of my exes. Trust me it isn't fun. Link to comment
BoggledMind82 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 All these reasons are why I haven't pursued him, but I am planning on finding another job. I'm close to completing classes needed in order to land a better job basically. I always coin my crush as a prototype of the man (even if it's not him) I would like to get to know. When you're dealing with two mentally and (mostly) emotionally intelligent people, they won't let simple things cripple major things. I've been intimate with a coworker working the same job long ago before this this one (more like a fling with feelings) in the same location, and when the bubble popped, it was still kept under wraps. I'm smart enough to not let my emotions overpower my intelligence, and especially my money. Lol! But when you feel a connection, you feel a connection. Especially when I have never had a real life crush until now. We work for the same company, and I will literally see him once, or twice per year in his current position, not everyday or even every month. It's not like he calls our store everyday when he has over 60 stores to manage. Literally seen/saw this Man twice, spoke to him a few times by phone, and that was it. It's not like your ordinary "I see them often, so I like them" situation that most people encounter. Of course if you work even slightly close to someone which you even slightly find attractive, you'd make the stupid decision to just start talking to them. This is NOT that. Lol! I personally don't think corporate America should get in the way of anyone's connections. Actually corporate America doesn't, but the people themselves do by showing too much emotion. I react differently, not so much as the typical crowd from what I've read. Link to comment
BoggledMind82 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 And our policy states that we are allowed to date or be romantically involved only IF they aren't professionally related through the store, district, or (in my case) region. But I'm not going to ask for a transfer miles away just to try and date him either. Lol! Link to comment
BoggledMind82 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 There are so many married couples who've been working at this company. Thanks, but I ultimately disagree @rising. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted January 12, 2017 Share Posted January 12, 2017 Does he know who you are? Can you facebook friend request? Can you have coffee together at work? Link to comment
BoggledMind82 Posted January 12, 2017 Author Share Posted January 12, 2017 Does he know who you are? Can you facebook friend request? Can you have coffee together at work? I have his number in my phone, he has mine. This is strictly because of professional reasons such as sending store images and such. Because of this, I was able to see his FB page under 'suggested' friends, but I'm not going to send him a request until I can be sure he'd be ok with it regardless if we were to ever 'talk' or not. He's extremely professional - a true leader. Which is what draws me to him, other than the fact that he's very handsome in my opinion. He doesn't seem 'loose' at all unlike many other men/women. I've always been acknowledged as a great, go-to employee, but now I'm in overdrive! I want to perform even better because I know it will ultimately strengthen his bottom line in the region as a whole. Smh! Lol! Link to comment
Rising100 Posted January 17, 2017 Share Posted January 17, 2017 There are so many married couples who've been working at this company. Thanks, but I ultimately disagree @rising. Yes there are always couples at work and its ok if u disagree, sometimes it works. So what will u do? Link to comment
BoggledMind82 Posted January 29, 2017 Author Share Posted January 29, 2017 Thankfully my thoughts have calmed down, but I wouldn't go so far to say that if/when given the slightest opportunity, I will professionally let him know I think he's 'an interesting man' so to speak. Lol! I'm not going to push the issue though. I'm just going to do my job with my best performance as usual, and just see what happens. At least I do know what type of man I desire for the most part. Heck, he may be an a-hole in 'real life', so I do appreciate the thoughts on this & will keep this updated... Lol! Link to comment
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